Chapter 3 #2
Jane stayed quiet, processing everything Mindy revealed.
Chris dated but he wasn’t serious about it.
And he was married to his job. Her husband’s career as a headhunter for a large banking corporation had been the most important thing in his life too, and sometimes Jane had felt like he neglected her and their children.
He did it for them, he’d always said. He needed to make sure his family was well taken care of.
Never again would she sacrifice herself and her children for a man’s career.
She hadn’t found fault in Stephen for too many things when they were married, but his lack of time for his family had always been an issue for her and something they’d argued about.
If he knew his life would be cut too short, would he have devoted so much time to his career?
Or would he have spent more time with his wife and children?
“Well, I’m sure it’s completely farfetched to think he’d want to date me,” Jane said, nerves starting to clamor again in her stomach.
Gosh, he was so close now she could practically feel him.
And here she worried over Chris being a workaholic like Stephen, when what she really couldn’t forget was how dangerous his job was, too…
“You never know,” Mindy said with a sly smile. “And here comes trouble now.”
“Hey.” A warm hand touched her shoulder briefly and she knew without looking who that hand belonged to.
Christian Nelson stood directly behind her. It still felt as if he touched her—he was so close—and Mindy stared up at him, a slightly dazed expression on her face.
“Hi,” Jane said. She watched as he pulled out the empty chair next to her and sat on the edge of the metal seat, the shiny silver pitcher still clutched in his hand.
“How are you?” he asked, his gaze focused only on her. “You get in okay? They didn’t hassle you, did they?”
He looked good, extra good tonight for some reason. Noticing the touch of curl in his hair, the urge to run her fingers through it was so strong she clutched her hands in her lap.
Dressed in his uniform, he wore a long-sleeved, snowy white thermal shirt beneath, and the fabric clung to his muscular arms in a tantalizing way. A way that made her want to smooth her hands up his arms and feel every bunch and sinew flex beneath her fingertips.
Oh yes, she had it bad. She needed to compose herself.
“No hassles at all. We got right in.” Jane nodded in Mindy’s direction and Chris glanced her way. “This is my sister, Mindy.”
“We’ve met,” Mindy said, shooting him a big smile as Sophia slid out of her lap. “Nice to see you again.”
“Where’s your husband tonight, Mindy?” Chris asked. “Marty, right?”
“Right.” Mindy’s eyes dimmed, her entire expression growing dark. “He’s working, as usual. Hey Jane, I’ll get plates for the kids, get them settled. I’ll bring Sophia with me. We’ll be back in a few.”
“Oh, Mindy, let me help you,” Jane started, but her sister shook her head as she stood, Sophia clutching her hand.
“Stay here and relax. I’ll take care of them tonight. You have fun.”
Jane watched her sister walk away, a hint of panic making her heart race. She was alone with Chris, no children to distract her, just the two of them, looking at each other.
Well, just the two of them surrounded by approximately seventy-five local residents, but who was counting?
“You haven’t eaten yet?” Chris asked.
She shook her head and rested her hands on the table, making sure to cover her left with her right. “We just got here a few minutes ago.”
“Ah, I didn’t see you walk in. I’ve been busy. Water maintenance.” He lifted the pitcher. “I’m still on duty but wanted to stop by and talk to you.”
“Do you work all night?” It would be almost safer if he did have to work instead of sit with her and make small talk. Or pretend that they were on some sort of actual date.
Because this definitely did not count as a date.
“I’m finished in about a half hour. I helped set up, I’ve been here since four, and I’m beat. Plus, I’m starving.” He smiled and scooted his chair closer to hers, his voice lowering. “You look pretty tonight, Jane.”
A thrill moved through her at his words, the way he said her name. She’d taken extra care with her appearance, wanting to impress despite her doubts, and it appeared her effort hadn’t been in vain. “Thank you.”
She clutched her hands atop the table, wringing her fingers together, and his gaze lingered there. “You have the smallest hands.”
Ah, just what she hadn’t wanted to do—draw attention to her hands. But she may as well face reality. If she was going to spend any more time with him, then she needed to discuss what had happened to her. “I used to sew a lot. Before the accident.”
“You did?”
She nodded, suddenly feeling stupid for even bringing it up. He was a guy. He wouldn’t care about her old sewing hobby. “I even had a small business for a while. I made aprons and sold them on Etsy.”
He chuckled, though not as if he were laughing at her. More like she’d surprised him with her revelation. “Really? Women still wear aprons? I mean, no offense, but it seems kind of old-fashioned. Something my grandma might’ve done. I’m sure she still does, actually.”
“See, that’s the thing. Our mothers came from the era of independent women going out into the workforce.
For the most part, they looked down on those who stayed at home.
But nowadays, there are plenty of women who want to stay home with their kids, and take care of their home and family.
At least, most of the women in my old neighborhood did. ”
The majority of her friends back in San Jose had been stay-at-home moms, perfectly satisfied with taking care of their families and not working outside of the home.
Thankful they didn’t have to be out in the rat race with everyone else.
She’d been so grateful at first, to be home with their children while Stephen worked.
But she realized now she’d lost herself a little bit.
No identity beyond being a mom and wife, with no larger purpose in life.
“And so you made aprons for them?” Chris’s voice startled her from her thoughts.
“I did.” She laughed and shook her head. “It sounds silly, but I found these vintage fabrics and embellishments at thrift stores and made the cutest aprons. Very fashionable, not the boring ones you find on or at Walmart or wherever. And now I’ll stop talking because I’m just rambling.”
“No, you’re not.” He smiled, a sexy curve of his lips that revealed straight, white teeth.
Well, maybe not so straight. One top front tooth slightly overlapped the other, and she felt almost relieved to see that small flaw.
Maybe he wasn’t as perfect as she first thought.
“Sounds like you were pretty passionate about it.”
She was quiet, absorbing what he said. She wouldn’t normally choose passionate as a word to describe herself. She didn’t actually think anyone she knew would use that word in association with her.
“I mean, you’re passionate about your kids. I saw that immediately.” He settled his hand next to hers and she watched, breathless, as he reached over and grabbed her hand. Her scarred left hand, the one she always hid. “But it’s nice to see you view yourself as not just a mother.”
“What do you mean? I am a mother.” She could barely get the words out, what with the way he held her hand so very gently in his.
“There’s more to you than just your children, though. You know?” He held their hands up in front of him, splaying his palm and fingers wide, which gave her no choice but to do the same. “All I see is a woman. Right now. With me.”
His hand dwarfed hers, his fingers nearly twice as long, and the heat from his palm burned right through her, down to her toes. He rubbed their palms together, once, twice, before entwining her fingers with his own. Her body trembled at the intimate touch.
Their gazes met, held. Electricity filled the air, arching between them. “Should you—”
“Yeah. I need to get back to work. Can I sit with you when I’m finished? Will you wait for me?”
“O-of course,” she stammered.
“Let me go refill this pitcher and I’ll be back, make sure you all have some water to drink. I can send the iced tea guy over, too, if you want.”
“I’m sure Mindy would like that.” How she could talk, let alone think, with him still clutching her hand, she didn’t know. But it felt so good. The simple gesture, the way his fingers curled around hers, the brush of his thumb on the inside of her wrist…
That rather intimate touch sent goose bumps skittering up her arm and she thought it might’ve been by accident. But no, then he did it again. A slow, subtle sweep of his thumb against the pulse point at her wrist.
She wanted to melt right there in her chair.
Who knew having her wrist touched would feel so blessedly wonderful?
Mindy chose that moment to show up at the table, standing across from them with a big grin on her face. She held three plates full of food, diner-waitress-style, with two of them stacked up her arm. She set them carefully on the table.
Jane removed her hand from Chris’s and he stood, nodding toward Mindy. “I’ll be back in a few with water and iced tea.”
“Oh, that sounds wonderful. I’m thirsty.” Mindy sat, Sophia right next to her. “I just told the kids to get their little behinds over here. Once they settle down, I’ll get more plates of food.”
“Mindy…”
“Stop it right there. You know you never get a break. In fact, I was thinking while I stood in line—why don’t I take the kids tomorrow night so you and Chris can do something, just the two of you? Maybe you could drive into Oakwood and see a movie.”
The serene, innocent expression on her big sister’s face didn’t fool Jane for one minute. She was purposely trying to throw them together, and Jane was more than a little embarrassed. Especially since Chris lingered, seeing every bit of that interaction.
“I’m off tomorrow. That sounds like a good idea.” Chris turned to Jane, the expression on his face daring her to say no. “What do you think?”
How could she turn him down? How could she even want to turn him down? “As long as you don’t mind, Mindy.”
“Of course I don’t mind. Marty’s out of town and my kids would love the company.”
“Then it’s a date.” Chris touched Jane briefly on the shoulder in a friendly gesture, but when she gazed up at him, there was nothing friendly about the look in his eyes. They were hot, hungry, as they roamed over her. “A real one.”
“Yes. A date,” she said weakly, wondering what she’d just set herself up for. Make that what her sister had set her up for.
“A date?”
Jane turned to see Lexi standing before her, Logan at her side. Her expression was one of shock, a little bit of disgust, and a whole lot of confusion.
“Lex.” Jane said her name slowly, a gentle smile on her face. She needed to approach her daughter carefully. “What are you up to, sweetie?”
“You’re going on a date with him? Captain Nelson?” Lexi waved a hand in his direction. “What about Daddy?”
Jane cleared her throat, embarrassed that Chris was witnessing all of this. That old, familiar guilt returned like a dark, threatening cloud. Lexi was right —this was happening way too soon after Stephen’s death. The entire room was probably listening and watching their argument. “Your daddy is—”
“Dead!” Lexi screeched. “He’s dead and gone and now it’s just us. Just us. That’s what you keep saying.”
“Honey, I know that’s what I said but—”
“No! You can’t forget Daddy. Ever!” Lexi ran off, her little feet pounding on the linoleum floor, and Jane turned to see both Mindy and Chris staring at her, their eyes wide.
“I don’t think she’s as ready to move on as you are.” Mindy shook her head. “And I can’t believe you let her talk to you like that.”
“Please, you’re not helping.” Jane propped her arms on the edge of the table and rested her forehead in her hands. She hadn’t expected Lexi to hear her and Chris making plans.
She hadn’t expected such a negative reaction, either.
“Hey. We can put this off if you want—” Chris started.
“No.” Mindy spoke up, her voice firm, reminding Jane so much of their mother it was downright spooky. “You two should definitely go tomorrow. Lex will get over it eventually.”
“Are you sure, Jane?” Chris spoke low, his gaze locked on her face, and she gave a quick nod.
“I am.” But she wasn’t sure. She was scared out of her mind Chris might back out, freaked over her daughter’s temper tantrum.
Not that she would blame him. She was plenty freaked by it herself.
One part of her wanted to tell Lexi to buck up. The other part wanted to haul her daughter into her arms and cry right along with her. Guilt was such a terrible burden, but she was so tired of carrying it.
Tomorrow’s date might be a mistake. But she wanted to spend more time with the handsome fire captain. The way he looked at her, talked to her, touched her, it brought something forth that had been long dormant.
Desire. Need. And heaven help her, she wanted to explore it further. At least for one evening.