CHAPTER EIGHT
THE NORTH POLE, AVERY'S LIbrARY
When she returned to the library, Avery collapsed on the big leather couch in front of the fireplace. Resting her feet on the coffee table, she stared at her notes about the private equity sale, still hanging in the air.
An argument she didn’t want to make.
A case she didn’t believe in winning.
And if she went home instead, she lost everything that mattered.
Even factoring in the come-down after rolling on Christmas Magic for the last two hours, she estimated this was the lowest she’d felt since her mother’s funeral.
How was it possible to be surrounded by Christmas and still be so miserable?
Avery considered going home and having to forget it all.
How many of her favorite memories with her mother and grandmother would be lost forever?
She would still remember who they were—their love went well beyond December—but it beamed the brightest at Christmastime.
And when she arrived back at her apartment, would her wall of portraits with her mom and the candle store Santa just be a blank space?
Christmas would still be happening around her.
Would she still get to see the lights? Smell the cookies?
Decorate a tree? Or would she not even comprehend it?
And Louis…
The moment he called and asked her to dinner, everything changed.
She’d never felt anything like the electric current that had been coursing through her veins since their first touch.
She was supercharged, even before she arrived at the North Pole.
Every time he was near her, she could feel the magic vibrating inside of her, spring-loaded to burst forth and swirl around him, to charm him, to pull him closer.
And when they kissed, it was like Christmas morning.
It was the smell of pine wafting from the tree.
It was Ella Fitzgerald’s voice, golden retrievers in wicker baskets, candlelight, warm cinnamon rolls, and velvet robes.
It was a hug from her grandmother. Her mom bringing her a blanket before she even realized she was cold.
It was all the comfort and joy she had been sure she’d never get to feel again.
It was love.
The magic dust had finally left her system, and her temporary amnesia subsided. She could now recall every silly, stumbling, salacious moment from the last two hours. She heated at the memory of his hands, his chest, his breath, his lips.
She loved him. And she needed him again.
They could try to wipe her brain clean, but for the rest of her un-Christmassy, non-festive life, she would feel a Louis-shaped hole in her heart that she’d never be able to fill, or even name. She couldn’t imagine a sadder future.
“Miraculous,” Louis had called her. She didn't feel very miraculous right now. She curled up on the couch. She truly needed a Christmas miracle to get out of this one. But Santa had told her there were no more Christmas miracles.
The idea made her stomach twist. How was she supposed to believe Santa when Santa was telling her not to believe in Christmas? Why did they even bring her here?
Déjà vu hit Avery like the Polar Express.
This was how she felt when she was just starting out as a lawyer.
She’d spent so much time studying for the bar exam, but it did nothing to prepare her for the actual practice of law.
How pointless. She’d hoped things would have been different here.
Why did they spend all that time testing her, making sure she understood the meaning of Christmas if—
She jumped to her feet.
A small bell rang in the library, one only Avery could hear.