Chapter 28
Ellyn
“I can’t believe it’s over,” I groan from the passenger seat of Joel’s truck.
We’ve just picked his truck up from the parking lot at the airport and are making the forty-five-minute drive back to Harlington.
Micah and Jodi, and Ace and Savannah, and their families are in the two cars behind us. Gabriel, Lena, and their children flew to New York for a couple of days before returning to spend the next month in Texas.
I have to admit, though the weekend with Joel’s entire family started off awkward, it turned out to be pretty great.
His grandkids are as adorable as he’s said they are, and it’s evident how deeply all of his children and their wives love Joel. Additionally, not once did they make me feel out of place for being there.
We played multiple board games, made s’mores around the outside fire pit at the back of the house, went snowmobiling again, and even did a little bit of skiing at a local resort.
All in all, it was great.
“I can turn this truck around and book another flight.” Joel takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips.
I laugh. “We can’t do that. Besides, Meghan’s coming back in a couple of days. I probably should be here when she returns.”
“What about Shanice? Are you still planning to visit her after the new year?”
I push out a heavy sigh. During one of the short conversations I had with Shanice a few weeks ago, she mentioned wanting to visit Texas for the holidays. Though I told her she and her family were more than welcome, she abruptly changed her mind.
When I mentioned that I could make plans to visit Atlanta, and I wouldn’t need to stay with her, she sounded distant. As if she wasn’t quite sure.
“I’m considering it. While spending time with your grandkids was great, it really made me come to terms with how much I miss Shanice and my grandbabies.” Sadness washes over me.
While the move from Atlanta to Harlington had been relatively easy and seamless, the only regret is the distance from my girls. Especially Shanice and her kids.
Meghan being at school up north and likely to remain there after graduating, was somewhat of an issue due to distance, but I love that she is so independent and she has no problem hopping on a plane to come visit even for just a weekend.
Shanice is a different story. With kids it’s not always easy to plan a spur-of-the-moment trip to see grandma.
“Would you want to come?” I ask Joel, the question surprising the both of us.
His eyebrows raise. “Would you want me to come?”
“Of course. You’ve already met Meghan. I would love for you to meet Shanice and my grandkids.”
It only felt right after spending the past few days with his family. I want my kids to know Joel. To know that I’m in love.
“Just name the date, and I’ll start booking our flights and hotel stay,” he says before bringing my hand to his lips again.
Throughout the remainder of the drive we laugh as we talk about this past weekend. Joel’s still a little salty over having lost a game of Pictionary.
We paired up in teams for the game, and he swears Parker, who was my partner, and I cheated.
“Don’t be a sore loser,” I tell him. “What type of example does that set for Parker?”
“What type of example does cheating set for her?” he insists.
I can’t help but to cackle at his incredulity.
The next fifteen minutes we go back and forth over who’s allowed to pick the teams for whatever board game we play next time. My heart is truly full as I think about spending another weekend with Joel up in Montana.
“Are you expecting a guest?” Joel asks as we approach my home.
There’s an unfamiliar sedan parked outside of my house, not in the driveway.
As we get closer, I can see two figures standing on my porch.
However, it’s not until Joel pulls into my driveway and I see the porch’s sensory light illuminating the figures that I realize it’s not two … there’s three people on my porch.
And I know exactly who they are.
“Shanice?” I call out, for the first time not waiting for Joel to open the door for me.
I move around the front of the truck and up the pathway to my porch.
“Shanice? What—”
“Grandma!” four-year-old Randy squeals, wrapping his arms around my legs in a hug.
I bend low to kiss his cheek. “Hi, baby.”
I pick him up, cradling him to me before looking back at my daughter. She’s holding one-year-old Charlotte in her arms.
“M-M-Mom, I didn’t know you were out of t-town,” Shanice stutters.
I look her over, my heart instantly aching. Her eyes are bloodshot as if she’s been crying, up all night, or both. And she’s stuttering.
It’s a speech disorder she had as a child but only comes on now when she’s highly emotional, read: upset about something.
Shanice is typically the most poised, composed person you would ever meet.
Yet, now as I watch her, she avoids my eyes. Instead, she looks down at the bottom of the stairs.
“Oh, this is Joel,” I say, moving to Joel who’s obviously followed me out of the truck. “He’s my next-door neighbor,” I say. “You remember, the neighbor who helped me when I fell out of the shower over a month ago.”
I look between Joel and Shanice.
Joel tips his head. “Shanice,” he greets. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Hello,” Shanice greets with a small, humorless smile. Her voice comes out so small that it breaks my heart.
“We were just coming back from a weekend together,” I tell her. It’s obvious he and I are more than neighbors, but given Shanice’s state at the moment, I choose not to go into detail.
“Um …” I glance around and then go to the door, unlocking it. I place Randy down inside of the door.
“Go in,” I tell Shanice. “I’m just going to say goodnight to Joel.”
She nods and heads inside without a word. I watch her for a moment, taking in the slouch of her shoulders looking as if the weight of the world rests on top of her.
“I had no idea she was coming,” I tell Joel after closing the door. “I’m sorry I didn’t properly introduce you two—”
“Shh-shh,” he tells me with a palm at the side of my face. Leaning in, Joel brushes his lips across mine. “Go take care of your daughter.”
He steps back and nods at my suitcases he’s placed right by the door.
“Thank you.”
“Love you,” he says again before taking a step back and then down the porch.
I watch as he climbs back into his truck.
One last wave before I go inside to find out what’s wrong with my baby girl.
“I shouldn’t have dropped in on you like this,” Shanice says, pacing back and forth in my living room.
I’ve just returned from the spare bedroom, putting Randy down after feeding him some yogurt and reading him a book. A glance down reveals Charlotte, who’s been asleep this entire time, resting on her back on the baby blanket Shanice has laid her on top of.
I move over to her and brush my hand over her hair. She squirms a little and then turns over so her head faces the opposite direction.
The tea kettle I started begins whistling. I rush from the living room to the kitchen to turn the kettle off before it wakes the children.
After pouring two cups of hot chocolate, I bring both back into the living room to set one of them on the coasters on the table before going over to a still-pacing Shanice.
“Hold this.” I take one of her hands into mine and wrap it around the mug of hot chocolate. Then I grab her other hand to place it on the handle.
I hold both of her hands, making her look at me.
“You’ve come a long way. Do you want to wait to talk about it in the morning? After a good night’s sleep?”
Shanice pulls a hand away to press it against her forehead. “I shouldn’t have dropped in on you like this. You were away.”
“And now I’m back home,” I assure her. “If I knew you were here waiting for me, I would’ve come much sooner. When did you arrive?”
She looks around the room, at anything but me. “We got here around three.”
My eyebrows spike. It’s after nine o’clock.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“It’s fine. I drove around in the rental car for a while and then I found a mall where we hung out for a little bit. Th-There w-was …”
“Here, drink your hot chocolate,” I tell Shanice.
With a hand at her back, I lead her to the couch, opposite of where Charlotte’s laying. I take a seat in the armchair.
When Shanice brings the cup down to her lap, I tell her, “Aunt Wanda doesn’t live too far from here. I’m certain you could’ve stayed with her until I returned.”
Shanice gives me a tight smile. “I didn’t want to put Aunt Wanda out.”
My chest tightens. That’s Shanice—even when she’s breaking apart she doesn’t want to be a bother to anyone. Not even to ask for help when she really needs it.
“Tell me what happened.” I reach across and squeeze her wrist.
I know my own strength very well. And I may have swatted my girls’ behinds once or twice when they were young for misbehavior but corporeal punishment was never a regular occurrence in our household.
It was a rule I established very early on with my ex. After growing up with a father who was a little too quick to discipline me with physical violence, in my opinion, I made a conscious choice not to resort too often to that sort of discipline with my girls.
So, when I see my daughter flinch in pain from a light squeeze of her wrist, it’s as if the bottom drops out from beneath my feet.
“Shanice …” I whisper in horror after rolling up the sleeve of her shirt and seeing the bruises there.
The markings of handprints outline her wrist all of the way around.
“It was an acc-acc-accident,” she stutters after pulling her arm away and re-covering the marks.
I bite my tongue to keep the words I want to shout from bursting out. No one needs that right now. Besides, the way Shanice keeps her eyes down and in her cup of hot chocolate, unable to look at me, she already knows the truth.
I won’t push her to say it.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I ask instead.
“I shouldn’t have c-come h-home early,” she says, still looking down into her cup.
The ache in my chest grows when I see the first tear drop into her hot chocolate.