Chapter 33
Ellyn
“Who wants more popcorn?” I yell out to everyone in the dining room.
“Me!”
“I do!”
Randy and Meghan call out and raise their hands at the same time. This prompts Charlotte, who’s sitting on her mother’s lap, to raise her hands.
I laugh at how cute they all are.
“Shanice, do you want some more?”
It’s been a couple of hours since I returned home from meeting up with Joel. The girls and kids and I are watching Christmas movies.
“I’ll just eat whatever Randy doesn’t finish.”
Her son folds his arms and pouts as he looks over at his mother. “You didn’t ask.”
“He’s right. You should always ask before taking someone’s belongings. Right, baby?”
“Right, Grandma.”
Meghan tosses the blanket away from her lap and rises from the couch. “I’ll make it, Mom. You should relax,” she tells me as she comes into the kitchen.
I pull her into a hug, kissing her cheek. “Thank you, baby.”
Between her and Shanice, they’re both tripping over themselves to do this or that for me.
I watch as Meghan puts a little oil at the bottom of the pan and then measures out the popcorn kernels in a measuring cup, all while smiling.
“You’re in a great mood today,” she suddenly says without taking her eyes off of the pot.
“Am I not allowed to be in a good mood?”
She gives me a side-eye.
“It’s Christmas Eve,” I defend.
“Which you hate.”
I jut my head back in surprise. “I never hated Christmas Eve.”
Meghan shrugs. “Maybe not hated, but …” She trails off as if she doesn’t want to say.
“What?”
She puts a few of the kernels into the oil and watches them pop before she pours the remaining kernels into the pot.
It’s not until she closes the lid over the pan as the kernels begin to pop that she finally starts talking again.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she starts, “we had wonderful Christmases when we were kids. Shanice and me,” she clarifies.
“But there were times when, I don’t know, I would look over and it didn’t seem like you were enjoying it. I mean, yes, we did all of the things, and decorations and whatnot, but every now and then it felt like you were checked out.”
My heart sinks with every word.
“Then once you moved out here and declared you weren’t even decorating for the holidays, I assumed it was because you were finally acknowledging how much you hate this time of year.”
I open my mouth to respond but a voice over Meghan’s shoulder responds before I do.
“It’s because she was exhausted,” Shanice says.
Meghan turns to face her sister.
Shanice is looking at me. “I understand it now.”
Her eyes go to her sister. “Mom doesn’t hate Christmas, but when you’re the main one doing all of the holiday shopping, cooking, cleaning, organizing, and decorating it gets to be a lot. After almost six years of doing it, I started to feel weary in my bones.”
She looks back at me.
“I can’t imagine having done it for over twenty-five years.”
“I never thought of it like that,” Meghan says just above a whisper.
Before I know how to say, she throws her arms around me. “I’m sorry, Mom. I never thought about what you must’ve felt or been going through.”
“Stop it, now,” I shush her with a pat on her back. Then I wait for her to release me so that I can look both her and Shanice in the eyes.
“Yes, all of those holiday activities were exhausting and tiring after a while, but I never regretted them, nor will I ever regret them because they put smiles on your faces. Do not start blaming yourself for thinking I was miserable,” I tell both of them.
“I made my decisions, and I own every single one. You two are the light of my life and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for the both of you. Okay?"
Meghan smiles before remembering the popcorn.
Not until she’s melted the butter, lightly salted the popcorn, and divided it into bowls do I speak again.
“I was thinking, the front lawn looks a little dull. What if we were to spruce things up a little bit?”
Meghan narrows her eyes and tilts her head to the side, examining me like I’m opposing counsel or something.
“You’re trying to win that neighborhood competition, aren’t you?”
“What competition?” Shanice asks, placing the bowl of popcorn gently onto the pillow she’s laid over Randy’s lap.
He greedily scoops a handful and does his best to stuff the entire thing into his mouth.
I laugh at the scene as Shanice reminds him that he’s going to choke if he eats like that.
“You haven’t heard?” Meghan asks while picking Charlotte up out of the playpen. “Every year this neighborhood has a holiday decorating competition. They do the judging on Christmas night when there’s a big neighborhood outing.”
Shanice’s eyes go wide. “That sounds like fun.”
“You would want to participate?” I ask, shocked.
“Of course. Why not?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t know if you were ready to be around people just yet.”
For the past week—aside from the day we went out to get decorations and runs to the grocery store—Shanice hasn’t strayed too far from the house. She hasn’t talked to anyone except for Meghan and me, to my knowledge.
She makes a sad smile down at Randy before looking back at me. “I’m not sure that I am, to be honest, but I want the kids to have the Christmas they deserve.
“Even if it’s not the one they expected.”
It breaks my heart the way she says this, as if she’s the reason her children’s Christmas will look differently this year.
“Baby, you do understand that none of this is your fault, right?” I ask, coming to sit beside her.
“I know.” She quickly nods. “But I don’t want to make this about me and my disaster of a life. How about after we finish Home Alone 2, we do the decorations you just mentioned? I think it’ll be fun.”
“And Mom will have a chance at beating her man in this year’s competition,” Meghan adds, raising her eyebrows up and down.
Shanice gasps.
“Sis, you’ve met him, right? I was kind of messed up when we first met and Mom’s been keeping him away from me all week. What’s he like?” Shanice asks her sister in a conspiratorial tone.
“Well, he’s obviously the reason she’s in such a good mood today. I think he—”
“I’m taking my grandbaby away from you two.” I pull Charlotte out of Meghan’s arms. “She does not need to hear your gossip. We’re going to watch Ms. Rachel on the computer in my office.”
“Fine, run away while I tell my sister all about the sexy rancher who broke down your door to save you and then made you fall in love with him.”
“Meghan!” I whisper yell, but she ignores me, laughing.
Shanice is the one who looks over at me. “Love? Is it true, Mom?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Yes, I’m in love with him.”
Meghan is the one to jump up, so suddenly that she spills some of Randy’s popcorn.
“Sorry, buddy.” She kisses the top of his head before running over to me and squeezing me in a hug. “I knew it!”
“Didn’t I tell you he was going to be the one?” she asks Shanice, surprising me.
“You told her that?”
“I sure did.”
Shanice also rises. “I’m happy for you.” She comes over to me, hugging me, and then kissing Charlotte when she squeals with laughter from the hug. “Grandma’s in love.”
I damn sure am, I think to myself.