Chapter 10
Jacob
It has been a long time since I lost my head like this. I could have killed that guy if Hunter and Captain Miller hadn't intervened. This is why I don't think I'm fit to be Marci's husband. I left her behind at Perfect Brews and drove back to my suite at the Snowcap Inn.
I look at my hands and see how bruised they are. Marci got to see the monster that I can be when one of my episodes takes over me. Right now it's all a blur, and I know that the guy can still press charges against me. When I get home, I change out of my Santa suit and pour myself a drink.
I shouldn't be drinking, but I can't deal with everything right this minute. Sitting down on the bed where we made love for the first time makes my gut twist. Marci is so bright, beautiful and just perfect all around. She probably won't want to see me again.
My phone makes noise, so I check to see if my baby girl has texted me.
All messages are from Hunter and the Sheriff asking about my welfare.
I choose to ignore them and wonder if I should send one to Marci.
What do I even say? I'm too much of a coward to start a conversation with her after what happened, so I just put the phone down and keep sipping on my drink.
About an hour later, there's a knock at the door. I'm pretty sure it's Hunter. He's been acting like a mother hen since the incident. When I open the door, an angel stands there, looking at me with wide eyes and trust.
"Can I come in?"
"Are you sure you want to do that?" I ask.
"I need to talk to you."
I move away from the doorway and let her in. When she brushes past me, I smell her delicious scent of strawberries and honey. It's a body lotion she brought with her supplies for her seduction. After I close the door, I realize she's pacing across the living room floor.
"Are you okay, Marci?"
She stops and turns to me.
"I should be the one asking that question, shouldn't I?"
"What you saw…"
"Was completely out of your control."
"How do you figure that?"
"You saw someone hurting a person you care about. Anyone in their right mind would go berserk."
"Don't make excuses for me," I say.
"So you need help. Are you willing to accept it? Find a doctor?"
"I…maybe you should leave. I'm not safe to be around."
"Now you're making excuses for yourself. I'm perfectly safe where I am, Jacob."
I walk over to her and grab her shoulders.
"Don't you understand I was so far gone I wouldn't have cared who got in front of me?"
"You would never hurt me."
"I could have killed that man. He's probably going to press charges."
"Yeah, no. I made a deal with him."
'What?” I jump. “What kind of deal? You shouldn't have done that."
"Carl has several warrants in different counties. I told him if he didn't press charges, I wouldn't tell the Sheriff about them."
"Then he got off too easy."
She steps into my arms and hugs me. Her soft curves fit perfectly against my body, and I sigh with relief.
"Daddy?"
"Yes, baby girl?"
"I love you."
"Oh God, Marci."
I take her face into my hands and kiss her gently.
Her lips taste like honey, and I find I'm starved for her.
I devour her mouth with mine and press my hard cock against her.
I'm not ready for us to make love again, but I need her desperately.
I need to know she'll have me, forever, in spite of my PTSD.
I pull back and look into her eyes.
"I love you too, Marci. Will you still marry me after seeing me that way?"
"Yes."
"Here, let me take your coat off."
I help her with her coat and hang it by the door. She's wearing a red t-shirt that goes to her thighs and black leggings. She looks comfortable and relaxed here with me.
"Will you spend what's left of Christmas day here with me?"
"Absolutely."
I pull the covers off the sofa bed and make room for her to get into the bed. I follow her and pull her to me once I'm settled in. There's something that's bothering me, but I don't know if I should bring it up. Hell, I'm going to marry this girl, I need to be able to communicate honestly with her.
"Marci, was he violent with you when you were together?"
She's silent for the longest time, and I dread what she's going to tell me. I swear, if he hurt her, I'm going after him and killing him.
"No. There were some signs, but he never lost his temper or put his hands on me violently."
"Thank the Lord."
"What if he had? Would you hurt him?" she asks.
"Probably. Maybe. Yes. You are the most important person in my life. Of course, I would have hurt him."
"Shhh, I'm okay."
I realize my voice has grown louder and gruffer, which is why she's soothing me.
"Did you tell anyone that we were engaged?"
"Just my mom, via text."
"Shit, I meant to go talk to her and ask her for her blessing."
"You don't have to do that."
"I want to do right by you, baby girl."
She puts her head on my shoulder and kisses my jaw. I realize it's all prickly since I didn't shave this morning, but she doesn't seem to mind. I don't know what I did to deserve this woman, but I give thanks to God and the Universe.
We watch the snow fall through the suite's window in companionable silence. Before I fall asleep, she nudges me.
"You need to get help for that PTSD, Jacob. Promise me."
"I promise you, baby girl."
"Good. Now make love to me. I want you something fierce."
"As you wish, my love."