XI
Blithe
"Wakey, wakey." Lucas barged into my room, dramatically opening the curtains in a loud whoosh.
Sunlight instantly filled the room, made worse by the snow blanketing the world. "Ah," I groaned, rolling onto my stomach, and wrapping myself up in the blankets to escape the light.
"Nice try," he laughed as I was pulled from the bed in my blanket burrito.
I screamed, feeling the bed disappear from beneath me moments before I hit the hard floor. I flailed, trying to free myself from the blankets, squinting when the light hit my face again. I rubbed my elbow. "Ow ." It was way too early for this. "How are you awake right now?" I glowered. "How are you the one waking me up on Christmas morning?"
He shrugged. "I've always loved Christmas."
I remembered the Christmases we had spent together as children. We used to try to be the first awake, disappointed to find the other awake first. My heart grew knowing I was here, celebrating with them once again. His eyes were glassy, a faraway look in them as if he too, was recalling our childhood. When his eyes met mine again, the sides had crinkled in laughter.
I stood from the floor, tossing the balled-up blankets to the bed as I did. "About last night..."
Lucas opened his mouth but paused as he took me in for the first time this morning. His brows lifted. "Who cares about last night? What the hell are you wearing ?"
I had to do a double take, ensuring what I was wearing was safe for work. I tended to sleep in the nude, but after Viktor and I were discovered last night I felt weird, almost dirty? I dressed in brown fleece pajamas and fluffy purple bed socks. I had been too warm last night, and a layer of sweat covered my back. But I felt untouchable and for some reason that was important to me at this moment.
"What's wrong with my jammies?" I placed my hands on my hips, cocking a brow.
Lucas chuckled, reaching out to ruffle my already bed-messed hair. "How anyone could sleep while being so constricted is beyond me."
I smiled softly at my cousin, noting the fluffy blue robe he was wearing over stripped flannelette pajamas. His smile matched my own.
"About last night," I repeated. "I'm sorry you had to find out like that."
He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. It's nice to see Viktor less uptight."
I couldn't help laughing in agreement.
"It's also nice to see you happier." His eyes shone. "It may have only been days since you arrived, but I could tell you were miserable. There's color in cheeks now."
"I am happier," I confessed. "I feel like for the first time in years I almost know myself."
Lucas pulled me into his arms, my head resting against his chest. I closed my eyes, breathing in his warmth. My eyes welled. I knew myself and what I wanted. Now I just had to secure it.
Lucas stepped back, flashing a shit-eating grin. "Now let's get downstairs before they send up a search party."
Following him down the hallway, I stalled on the stairs when I heard laughter from the dining room. My heart fluttered, knowing how much my father enjoyed Christmas with his brother. The way his eyes lit up each day we had been here made me wonder if he was recalling all of the Christmases they had spent together as children.
"There you are!" Mom called, spurring me down the stairs.
I walked into the kitchen as Lucas dropped onto the empty chair beside his mother. I frowned at the only empty seat, of course next to Viktor. His eyes burned into me, causing my cheeks to heat. His stare hardened before he turned away, barely uttering a word. I swallowed to clear the ball that had formed in my throat. Here we go again.
"Come sit here, love," Dad said, patting the empty seat beside him. Which was the exact seat I wanted to avoid. Why was it that when people sat at a dining table they always left the middle seat free?
"I'm okay standing, Dad," I stood awkwardly, my hand holding onto my elbow as I avoided all eyes in the room. If I had been in the living room I would have gravitated to the fire. At least I'd have an excuse for the blush.
"Nonsense," Mom said, a frown forming between her brows. "You can't eat breakfast standing."
I dropped my hand, skulking to the seat. I pushed my chair closer to Dad as I sat, not wanting to feel Viktor's hard form beside me. But just knowing he was there threw off my whole demeanor.
"Right on time, too," Aunt Olivia stood up, wandering into the kitchen. Mom followed her.
They came out carrying a dish in each arm, loaded with bacon, eggs, waffles, and fruit. The delicious smells were almost enough to distract me, my stomach rumbling as a dish was placed in front of me.
"Almost ready." Aunt Olivia disappeared once more, only to return with a tray of steaming mugs. "Hot cocoa is a must."
The mugs were passed out to each of us, the soft scent of cinnamon warming my senses. In moments we began filling plates with food and the laughter returned. I sat in happy silence, enjoying the peaceful moment with my family. But I couldn't entirely ignore the man sitting beside me. At one point his leg brushed my knee and I sucked in a breath, choking on my mouthful of bacon. Dad smacked me on the back, handing me my hot cocoa to wash it down.
"Didn't they teach you to chew your food," Lucas chucked.
"Ha, ha," I scowled over the top of my steaming mug.
Snow twirled and fell to the ground, painting a breathtaking picture as we sat on the ground around the Christmas tree. It was strange to see grown adults sitting cross-legged on the plush carpet like we were in school. Quiet Christmas carols played in the background.
"Nanna Wendy and Popop got caught in the snow, so they won't be here until later," Uncle Andy said. "They should be arriving around the same time as Olivia's parents."
"Just in time for the Christmas feast." Lucas had assisted Uncle Andy in preparing the roast turkey, and a sense of pride was radiating from them both.
"But it doesn't mean we can't open presents in the meantime," Aunt Olivia clapped her hands together, only reinforcing the feeling of being children.
I couldn't help smiling at the joy she brought to every situation. Looking around the room, almost everyone was smiling as well. Even Viktor's eyes had crinkled in an attempt to smile. His shoulders had begun to relax slightly and I couldn't stop relaxing along with him.
Uncle Andy stood by the Christmas tree, his head tilted as he looked at the pile of presents. "I guess I'll play the part of Santa." He grabbed a large gift wrapped in red and green striped paper. "Lucas," he handed him the box.
Lucas began tearing into it before his father had even turned away. I watched as he opened the box full of various computer parts and a single bottle of cologne. "Thanks, Ma and Pa." He half crawled half shuffled across the floor to place a kiss on his mother's cheek. Aunt Olivia giggled, wiping away the dampness he had left behind.
Uncle Andy handed out the next gift, a joint present for my mother and father. They put it to the side, declaring they would open it later. They had always been like this, not liking to open gifts in front of others. I knew they would go somewhere and open them, then pull Aunt Olivia and Uncle Andy aside later to thank them. And yet they would expect everyone else to open any gifts they had bought for them. I knew that Mom and Dad had gone all out on gift buying this year, a way to make up for all the years they had spent apart. Neither Uncle Andy nor Aunt Olivia seemed offended by their wish to open theirs later, as if they remembered the same act from events in the past.
"I wonder who these are for?" Uncle Andy said as he handed two identical gift bags to Viktor. He didn't have to open them for me to guess they were bottles of alcohol.
Lucas urged him to open them anyway. Viktor looked uncomfortable as he lifted a bottle of rum from one bag and a bottle of aged whiskey from the other. But he smiled his thanks and found his way over to place a similar kiss on Aunt Olivia's cheek. The simple gesture seemed so unlike Viktor that I looked away to give him some privacy, but my heart fluttered all the same.
"You're welcome," Lucas said, pointing at his own cheek. "Plant one right here. Since you know that rum is from me."
Viktor shouldered Lucas, shaking his head, his teeth flashing in a rare grin. It seemed it was the usual Christmas gift–perhaps birthday, too–from the three of them. Viktor's grin was gone in seconds and he cleared his throat. I didn't have to have known him for years to know he wanted Uncle Andy to continue the gift-giving to take the attention away from himself. I did us both a favor and tried to keep my eyes off of him.
Next, a small gift bag was passed to Mom first, who then handed it to me. "Merry Christmas, darling."
Dad beamed. "Merry Christmas to my favorite daughter."
I smirked. "I'm you're only daughter."
"That you know of!" Lucas chimed in.
Dad chuckled, Mom protesting in mock horror.
"We've been through this, Lukey, they don't want to adopt you." I flipped him off.
"We have our hands full with Callie," Dad chortled.
Lucas ran his hand through his hair. "We all know I would make the prettier daughter."
At that the room burst into shared laughter, even Viktor joining in. I shook my head, my laughter trailing off as I opened the bag and pulled out a small, velvet box. Inside sat a pair of pink pearl earrings.
I gasped, holding my hand to my mouth. "They're truly beautiful."
"For a beautiful daughter." Mom stood long enough to sink back down beside me. She removed the earrings from the box and placed them in my ears. "Every woman should own a pair of pearl earrings." She moved back to sit beside Dad.
I traced my fingers over my ears, imagining what they looked like in. It made the gift I had put together for Mom and Dad feel mediocre. I hoped they would wait for later to open that too, so that the rest of the room wouldn't see just how bad I was at giving gifts.
I stretched my legs out in front of me, leaning back on my uninjured hand as I watched the gifts pass from one person to another. I hummed along quietly to the Christmas carols, content to watch my family together.
"This one doesn't say who it's from," Uncle Andy's declaration dropped me right back into the midst of things.
I know exactly who that is from. And I had forgotten all about it. My cheeks were ablaze, my eyes saucers as I watched Uncle Andy pass the small, poorly wrapped box to Viktor. Lucas shrugged when Viktor looked at him, as if to say "wasn't me." The box was tiny in his large hand. I had wrapped it in red paper that was covered in little Santa's and reindeer, and completed it with a small tag that I had used to try and hide some of the excessive tape I had used.
Viktor lifted the tag, his eyes scanning his name that I had scrawled over the gold cardboard. His brows wrinkled when he lifted those same eyes to me, a single brow lifted in question. I said nothing, the deepening of my blush answer enough.
He was surprisingly gentle in opening the wrapping, peeling the tape away, and unfolding the corners. It was strange watching him be so gentle when I knew exactly what those fingers could do.
"Just rip it," Lucas sighed, clearly not as invested as I was.
Viktor ignored him, sliding the box out without a single tear in the paper. He tilted the small brown box, curiosity clearly written on his face. I had bought a kraft-style box from a dollar store, the plain box not giving anything away. Yesterday, before the power had gone out, I had gone on a spontaneous trip to the markets with Lucas. He had been off at the candy stall and I had wandered off alone, looking at all of the handmade wares, when I came across...
"A wolf." Lucas had come forward and now leaned over Viktor's shoulder, where he held up a small, wooden carving of a wolf, its head tilted upwards in a howl.
It was no bigger than a Christmas tree bauble, with small dents and flaws, and it had clearly not been varnished. It was imperfect. It may be insignificant compared to grander gifts. But the moment I saw it I knew I had to buy it for him.
"It's cute," Aunt Olivia said, before reaching for a present Uncle Andy held out to her. Everyone looked away from the wolf, from the newfound tension that was filling the space between Viktor and me. His eyes met mine from across the room, the hardness that was always there softening completely for the first time since I had met him.
"Thank you," he mouthed, a soft smile curving his lips. The hardness returned to his face only moments later, but his eyes never left mine. He was deep in thought, lost in something I wasn't sure of, but I could almost see the cogs turning in his head.
We continued opening presents around the Christmas tree until lunchtime. Snow continued to silently fall outside the window and my heart began to fall with it.