Chapter Twenty-One
Seth
“S O, WHAT FOOD DO YOU have in here?” I called to her, as I made my way into the breakroom to root through whatever she might have had on her shelves.
“Uh, anything that you can make in a microwave, pretty much,” she called back. She was pulling some blankets out of the back. Haley had left them there, she’d explained to me, when she had started to get chilly manning the till on a long winter day. I was glad for it now, since we were going to be locked in here pretty much all night. I had been worried about Mia, but Jorja had assured me she had given her extra food that morning, knowing it would be a longer day than usual. Though, this long of a day, neither of us had expected.
The snow was piling up in the windows, but inside the store, it was pretty cozy. We had arranged a few heaters around a small loveseat that was usually set aside for customers wanting to test-run their new books before they left the store, and once we had some snacks, we would be set for the evening.
Our conversation earlier seemed to have clear the air between us, once and for all. I could see how hard it was for Jorja to believe that anyone would really want her the way I wanted her, but there was no doubt in my mind. When I looked at her, I saw the roots that I had been avoiding putting down for so long. Normally, when I was faced with the possibility of being in the same place for a long time, I found myself getting itchy, craving a chance to start over somewhere fresh. But, as we spent our first Christmas together—albeit not a planned one—I was already imagining what we could do next year. And the year after that, and after that...
She came through to the breakroom and opened the cupboard above the small sink. Inside, there were a few packets of ramen, some popcorn, and a couple of hot chocolate packets along with some instant milk. Not much, but it would do for tonight. Hopefully, we would be able to leave first thing in the morning—maybe back to her place, together. I liked the sound of that.
“Sorry it’s nothing special,” she remarked, pulling a face as she took down the packages from the cupboard.
“Don’t be silly,” I replied, grabbing them off of her. “It’s all about how you present them.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know how much you can do in presenting ramen.”
“Then you’ve never had my ramen,” I replied, flashing her a grin. “Go on, sit down, let me whip up my specialty for you.”
She laughed, but did as she was told, perching on the edge of the counter so she could watch me as I worked.
“See, you have to really work in the flavor packets,” I told her seriously, like I was in the midst of narrating the cooking of a Michelin-starred meal. “That’s where a lot of people go wrong. They think you can just stir it into the broth—no, you need to really apply it with love.”
“And how exactly would someone do that?” she asked, playing along, cocking her head to the side with interest. Her hair fell into her face a little, and the sweet smile on her lips was so damn cute, it was hard not to let myself get a little distracted.
“Just watch and learn,” I instructed her, and she leaned back to watch me work. I continued to narrate it as I went, pretending like I was making her the most delicious gourmet dish as I put the ramen in the microwave, followed by the popcorn. I drizzled on a generous amount of the caramel topping, and then served up the ramen in a mug for her. It was far from a luxury experience, but better than eating it out of the plastic container it came in, at least.
“And here you go,” I told her, handing her the ramen. “Madam’s dinner.”
“It smells fantastic,” she replied. “Thank you.”
She went to take a bite of the ramen, and instantly dripped a little of the broth down her chin.
“Oh, shoot, sorry,” she blurted out. “I’m such a slob.”
I laughed, and reached out to wipe it away with my thumb. “It’s all right, so am I,” I replied.
“A model who’s a slob?” she asked, sounding a little confused. “I didn’t know you could find such a thing.”
“I only have to look good in the pictures, remember?” I reminded her. “The rest of the time, I can be as much of a mess as I like.”
“I guess so,” she agreed, giggling, and the two of us sat in the breakroom and ate our makeshift dinner together. It might not have been the fanciest food in the world, but eating it with her made me feel as though I was at the most exclusive club I’d ever attended. Her company was what made it special, the sound of her laughter filling the air around us as I cracked a few jokes.
She insisted on making us a hot chocolate to keep warm afterward, and we made our way to the blanket-laden loveseat, surrounded by heaters.
Beneath the blankets, she snuggled up next to me, so our shoulders were pressed together. We listened to the wind whistling outside, the snow flying this way and that beyond the window. It was like there was nothing else but the storm out there, and we were the only two people left on earth together.
“You ever get stranded here with your grandma?” I asked her, and she shook her head.
“No, she would never have let that happen,” she replied with a chuckle. “I think she would have had me trekking through the snow, even in this weather. She never liked to be away from her own bed for too long.”
“She sounds like a formidable woman,” I remarked, and she laughed.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” she agreed. “Though I’m sure there are people in this town who’d have a few choice words for her.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah, she was never afraid to speak her mind,” she replied, shaking her head. “She would always let people know what was going on in her head. I guess I could take some cues from her.”
“How do you mean?” I asked curiously.
“I mean, I have a hard time... standing up for myself,” she admitted, making a face and looking up at me. “I never really know how to do it in a way that doesn’t sound demanding or entitled. And I feel like, whenever I put my foot down, I’m just so worried that people are going to hate me. That’s why I didn’t tell Wharton to go stick his deal up his... well, yeah. I should have. I should have been straight-up with him.”
“Well, he’s got the message now,” I reminded her. “That’s all that matters.”
“I guess so,” she agreed. “I’m just not great at the whole... people thing, I suppose.”
“You did pretty well with me,” I replied.
She raised her eyebrows at me. “I literally fell into your arms,” she pointed out. “I don’t think that’s an approach I can take with many people now, is it?”
“Hey, you could give it a try,” I replied.
She shook her head. “No, I mean... I’m okay with small groups of people, like two or three,” she explained. “But anything more than that and I feel like I’m going to start hyperventilating.”
“I get that,” I replied.
“How could you get that?” She laughed. “I saw you yesterday, with all those people. You were amazing with them.”
I shrugged. “It took practice to get there,” I admitted. “I was like you for a long time. Just totally up in my own head with everything. It felt like I could never clear my brain long enough to actually talk to people, I was always stuck overthinking what they were going to think of me if I said things a certain way.”
“Oh, my goodness, that’s exactly it!” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe it. How did you... I mean, how did you end up modeling? And traveling? And event planning? I couldn’t do any of that, if it was me.”
“Because I decided I didn’t want to let my brain hold me back,” I replied. “Trust me, it wasn’t easy at first. I felt like I was pushing myself off a cliff every time I tried something new. But the more I did, the more I realized that nothing bad was actually going to come of it, and the more I started to relax.”
“Wow,” she murmured. “That’s... that’s amazing, Seth. Really.”
“Yeah, it’s been really rewarding,” I replied. “Not easy at first. But the more you do it, the more you get used to it. And it feels like second-nature to go out there and try something new.”
She shifted a little closer to me, and I put my arm around her, resting it against her shoulders. I closed my eyes, turning my head slightly so I could inhale the scent of her hair. She smelled so good to me, like sweet milk and honey. I wanted to bury my face against her skin and just drink it all in, but I had no intention of rushing things.
“You think you’re going to want to find something new again?” she asked me softly.
“How do you mean?”
“I mean, you think you’ll be pulling out your map and starting over somewhere new?” she asked, biting her lip as she looked up at me. Her eyes were filled with hope, and it was a hope I refused to ruin for her—not when the answer was so obvious to me.
“No, I don’t think so,” I replied softly, smiling down at her. “I like it here. I think I can see myself staying for a while.”
“Even if all the women in this town are going to be hunting you down for autographs and pictures?” she teased.
“I think I can handle that,” I promised. “I’ll try not to let the attention go to my head.”
“You better not,” she shot back. “At least your ramen-making skills will keep your feet on the ground.”
“Hey, I thought they were pretty good!” I protested, and she laughed.
“Yeah, they could have been a lot worse,” she agreed. The two of us fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, and I skimmed my fingers along her shoulder, drawing her in a little closer to me.
“What about you?” I asked.
She tilted her head up to look at me. “What about me?”
“Do you think you might be taking a few more risks soon?” I remarked, as I slid my hand to her face again. Damn, she was so beautiful, the glow of the snow outside lighting her soft features. I would never get tired of looking into her eyes like this, having her gaze back at me like she couldn’t think of anywhere in the world she would rather have been.
“Hmmm,” she murmured, as she reached up to push a hand through my hair. “I guess I could be tempted to.”
“Glad to hear it,” I whispered back, and, finally, I sank my mouth into hers for the first time.
That first kiss felt like it lit up every nerve-ending in my body, my whole system responding to the feel of being this close to her. I felt her smiling into the kiss, the two of us finally coming together the way I had longed for since the moment I had laid eyes on her. We were two parts of a whole coming together, two parts of the same end reaching out for one another at last.
I pulled back, and brushed my nose against hers. I could hear her breath hitching in her throat, and she moved a little closer to me, tangling her legs around mine beneath the blanket. As she gazed up at me, with those sweet, soft eyes, I couldn’t resist going in for another kiss—and I knew this one would be far from our last.