CHAPTER FOUR
I know you’re learning about all sorts of new foods, but those biscuits you made the last time…they were better than Ma’s. Don’t tell her I said that. Seriously, I’ll deny it till the day I die. But they were.
~Text from Max to Christy~
Christy
The last four months have been great. I passed my GED test last week. I know it’s not a big deal to some people, but to me it proves that my father was wrong and that I’m smart enough to do it.
Max is…Max is great. We have so much fun just spending time together.
I love laughing and doing everyday things with him.
I love the cuddling, the kissing, and the feeling of his hands on me.
Our relationship is great…it really is. Not that anyone but Mary knows that, because Max still hasn’t said anything to anyone.
I may not know much compared to a lot of people my age, but I know you can’t move forward in a relationship if you’re busy hiding it from the rest of the world.
I also want more than just making out. It’s great, but I know enough to know there’s more, and I want it.
Sex. There, I said it. I. Want. Sex. I want it, and I want it with Max.
But I feel like anytime we start to move forward, something comes up.
I mean, just last night, things were getting hot and heavy, and I swear we were going to go there when Juan called needing something.
Of course, Max couldn’t say no, because then he would have had to tell him he was with me.
I’m beginning to question why he doesn’t want to tell people at this point.
Not that I could ask him last night because he got caught up with whatever Juan needed, and I got a text apologizing and saying goodnight. Today’s a family day at the club, but I’m making a stop this morning before I head over to Ma’s to help get things ready.
I park my car and get out, making my way up the walk to the front door.
I trip on the second step, but my hands move quickly enough that I catch myself on the top step, stopping me from completely crashing to the ground.
The sound of chuckling greets me. I look up and see Mick shaking his head at me.
“How you don’t spill more shit at the sandwich shop and carry all the babies with no problem is beyond me. ”
I roll my eyes at him. “Girl, you have two left feet but a heart of gold. That’s the part that fucking matters.
Madison said you were stopping by. She’s getting coffee for you two.
I’m gonna go feed our girl and fill her with all of my wisdom.
” He walks down the hallway, leaving me to make my way to the kitchen.
Madison is pouring coffee into two mugs as I walk toward the counter.
She looks up and gives me a smile. “Let’s take these to the back sunroom.
If we stay in here, we’re likely to hear Mick’s off-key singing of some songs that I’m pretty sure are not remotely appropriate for little ears.
I’m just thankful she’s barely mastered the three words she says on repeat. ”
I follow Madison and take a mug from her before sitting in one of the rocking chairs. I take a sip of coffee. Coffee is so much better down here. I think we had the cheapest, most bitter coffee up on the mountain. This stuff here is why people have an obsession with the liquid gold.
Madison sips her coffee for a couple of minutes before she looks over at me.
“So what do you need to talk about that we can’t talk about at family day?
” I sigh because I’m about to share more with Madison than I’ve even shared with Mary.
Sure, she knows Max and I are seeing each other, but she doesn’t know about my…
frustrations. I guess that’s the best word for it.
Mary would listen, but she’s as experienced as I am when it comes to dating, and I can’t imagine she’d have any suggestions for me.
I look at Madison. “What we talk about needs to stay between us. You can’t say anything to Kierstie or any of your brothers or Ma, please?
I mean, I just—” Madison leans over and touches my hand.
“I won’t say anything unless you tell me I can.
I understand more than you know the need to sometimes get something off my chest without it going through the Weston phone tree. ”
She gets it. “Well, see the thing is, for the last few months, Max and I have been kind of seeing each other. I—” Madison jumps in her chair and points at me.
“I knew it! I had a feeling something was going on between the two of you. Once this comes out, Kierstie owes me twenty bucks.” She takes a breath and looks a little sheepish. “Sorry, that’s not the response you were looking for, I’m sure. Continue, please.”
I let out a sigh. “Thing is, things are really good. Like I love spending time with him, and I get why at first he wanted to keep things just between us, but it’s been over four months, and he’s still not wanted to say anything to anyone.
” Her eyes bug out when I mention how long it’s been.
I continue before she can say anything. “Like it’s starting to affect our time together, because no one knows about us.
When someone needs something, he has to go off, of course, because it’s not like he can say no.
Because then he would have to say why he’s saying no.
” Apparently, this morning, when I get going, I can’t stop, and my words keep coming.
“I mean, last night we were finally almost about to… when Juan needed something. Max took off, and I got a text saying goodnight. I know I love him, but I don’t love how I’m beginning to feel like a dirty secret. ”
Madison looks at me, and I swear there’s a fire in her eyes.
I knew she was the right person to go to.
“I love my brother, but he’s like other boys in this family and doesn’t fucking pay attention.
They get an idea in their head and can’t stray from that shit.
” Oh…she’s cussing. That tells me she’s getting pissed at Max on my behalf. I love her.
Madison keeps mumbling about fucking men. “It’s like they all have to have their heads up their asses at some point.” Something must replay in her mind because she stops her rambling and looks at me. “Wait. Did you say you two haven’t… haven’t done it yet?”
I shake my head. “No. I thought last night was going to be the night, but…” Madison shakes her head. “But my brother had to go help someone because the man has this need to save everyone.”
I take a sip while I try to figure out how to ask my question. “I don’t want to give him an ultimatum, but I don’t want to be kept a secret. I don’t want to feel like he’s ashamed of me. I know he’s not, but keeping quiet about us makes me feel like I’m not worthy of the world knowing about me.”
Madison leans back in her chair. “I know you know what happened to me the night of Asher’s wedding.
Hell, that’s how we met. But do you know what went down with Mick and me that night and the months before it?
” I shake my head. “No. I mean, I figured with how you greeted him when they got us off the mountain that you two had been together for a while and were solid.”
The laugh that comes out of Madison is slightly unnerving. “Uh, no. We weren’t solid, not even close.” She spends the next few minutes telling me about how she and Mick actually got started and everything they went through. Seems Max isn’t the only man around who makes a mess of things.
I look at Madison and ask the question that I need answered.
“So what do I do? I don’t want to break up, but I don’t want to be a secret anymore.
I also think if he keeps not telling people, we’re never going to go past making out.
I don’t want to live my life as his secret girlfriend who stays a virgin forever!
That’s almost as pathetic as going along with marrying the man Father arranged. ”
Madison shakes her head. “No, it’s not pathetic, and don’t ever think you’re stuck like you were up there.
I love my brother, but you have to find your happiness.
I think he needs a dose of the reality he’d be facing if he doesn’t get his head out of his ass.
” She’s got a determined look on her face, but I want to make sure she understands something.
“I won’t cheat on Max or sleep with someone else just to prove a point.
I love him, just not the secret part. I agreed to it initially, so am I going back on my word now by not being okay with it anymore?
” Madison answers me almost immediately.
“No, because from my understanding, he suggested it at the beginning so you could see if there’s something between you.
It’s been months, and you know there is.
My idea isn’t for you to cheat or anything, because that’s never a solution.
It’s more about sticking to exactly what he asked initially.
Exactly. Exactly and to the letter. It’s time my little brother has to eat his own words. ”