Chapter 2 Hawk
One year earlier—
“So, you’re gettin’ out Friday,” Sadie began, twirling a long lock of her dark hair around her finger. “That’s good.”
“Sure is, honey. Lookin’ forward to ridin’ home and far from this hellhole.”
One of the guards snorted behind me and I laughed. I learned quickly how to stay out of trouble and play the game while on the inside. Life within these walls had its own set of rules.
Sitting back against my chair, I took in Sadie’s appearance. She seemed like she had something on her mind.
I’d seen her enough over the last three years to tell when she felt anxious. Her restlessness coincided with mine but for entirely different reasons. I couldn’t wait to set foot outside these prison walls again and escape the dark void that had pulled me under since my incarceration.
Sadie had demons I couldn’t begin to fathom and none of them had anything to do with the reason we both sat here today.
I got pinched. It was my choice and I stood by it. I wasn’t a fucking pussy. I could own my shit.
There wasn’t more to say.
But Sadie? Did she deal with the abuse and move on? I couldn’t say for sure.
“How’s the sessions going?”
She finally took my advice after the nightmares became too much and began seeing a therapist.
“Good. Really good, Hawk. I’m learning a lot about myself and how to maintain boundaries. It’s not easy, but I’m dealing with all the trauma.” She shrugged, a smile forming on her lips. “I met someone. He’s sweet, patient, and didn’t run when he heard about my past.”
“That’s fucking amazing.” I meant that.
She pushed her hair over her shoulders, clearing her throat. I could sense she had something she needed to get off her chest. The wounds from that night had faded long ago but they left behind physical scars. One by her mouth and another by her eyebrow. A reminder of her strength and perseverance.
I searched her eyes, staring at the beautiful face of a survivor. Over the last three years, she’d gained confidence and reclaimed the parts of herself she lost.
A gorgeous girl inside and out, she made me feel special just by showing up twice a month to check in.
Had the circumstances been different I probably would have been attracted to and flirted with Sadie.
Hell, I would’ve taken her on a ride on my Harley and my cock, but I didn’t see her like that. Couldn’t. Not after the way we met.
“You think you’ll find happiness?”
Ah. Now I understood why she seemed a little solemn today.
“Don’t doubt it. All I need is my bike and the open road to find a little peace.” I meant that. I learned a long time ago to let the past go and not dwell on it.
“That sounds too easy.”
“Babe, life is only as hard as you make it. I live for the simple things like beer, my club, and pussy.”
The corners of her lips lifted in a little smile before faltering. “Being here didn’t make you bitter?”
“You askin’ if I regret what I did that night? Fuck no. Any bitterness I got inside ain’t from you.”
Her shoulders relaxed. “Good to know, Hawk.”
Glad we had that settled.
“I guess you’ll be returning to your life in the club. Motorcycles and mayhem. Right?”
I couldn’t help laughing at her description. “Yeah. Been missin’ my bike.”
Caw...caw.
And the crow too. He never strayed far from the prison. Even now, I could feel his presence, restless for my release.
The Class C felony I’d been charged with held a maximum five-year sentence and the judge shackled me with it, pissed I’d broken into a man’s home and assaulted him.
Didn’t seem to be fazed by the fact he beat on his girlfriend.
Sadie testified but it didn’t matter. In the judge’s eyes I was a thug who already had a criminal history.
He didn’t seem to like my affiliation with a 1%er biker club.
He tried hard as hell to blame me for the crow pecking out Jed’s eye, but there wasn’t any proof.
I made friends during my stint and didn’t fuck up by doing anything stupid. After serving three of the five years, I was informed by the parole board that I was a free man at the end of this month.
Staring across the table at Sadie, I didn’t regret my choices. It was worth it to see the young woman who had been so broken and bloody that night regain her confidence and the freedom to live life any way she wanted.
We only talked about Jed once when she discovered he had lost his eye and all his fingers had been broken. I admitted I carved a message onto his forehead with my knife. Felt damn good when I learned the skin scarred as I had hoped.
“I hope you won’t be a stranger once you’re out but maybe that’s weird.”
Frowning, I wasn’t sure what she meant. “Gotta be straight with me, honey. Mixed messages aren’t my thing.”
“I’d like to keep in touch. Even if we just text or call once in a while. No commitment,” she laughed at my expression. “You’ll always be someone I care about, Hawk. I need to know you’re out there, riding your bike, and enjoying your freedom.”
I could do that. “Sure, Sadie. I’d like that.”
Four days later, I walked outside the gates, breathing in the fresh air untainted by the shackles I’d worn for three long years.
A few of my club brothers stood by a row of Harleys, ready to greet me.
Crow, Cuckoo, and Talon had shown up often over the last thirty-six months. Their visits kept me going.
Matching grins spread across their faces as I ticked my chin in greeting.
“Shit. If it ain’t our SAA, joining society again, all reformed and respectable.”
Snorting, I shook my head. “I don’t think those are the words I’d use, Crow.”
He laughed, pulling me in for a hug. “Missed you, brother.”
“Yeah, I missed you all too,” I announced, slapping him on the back as I stepped away, turning to Cuckoo. “The fuck happened to you?”
Cuckoo shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You look like a fucked up version of the Easter Bunny. That’s some sick shit.”
Cuckoo snickered.
He wore a white Easter bunny suit with the hands and feet cut off, black leather gloves, and boots in their place. Fake blood splattered the pink chest. His cut draped over the ensemble.
He was into some weird shit, including a fascination with anything horror themed.
I didn’t want to think about last Halloween.
He’d been denied entry into the prison because of his bloody prison guard costume.
They didn’t like that he added skeletal themed makeup on his face and fangs that dripped blood down the front of his shirt.
Today, Cuckoo wore a deranged bunny head with long pointy ears.
One had been ripped in half; the other slashed in a few places with a knife.
Same with one of the pink cheeks. Fake blood droplets spattered the sharp teeth in the gaping mouth.
His face peaked through as he sucked on a giant green lollipop.
I swear to fuck, that kinky fucker wasn’t entirely right in the head.
“Why the fuck do we let you out in public?”
Talon shoved Cuckoo. “He’s pretty, that’s why.”
I shook my head, striding over to my bike. All I needed was to ride. My hand glided over the chrome and sleek black paint.
“I missed you, baby.”
Two minutes later, we merged onto the highway.
Bright Nevada sunshine glared down from above as the scorching heat wrapped my body in a sweltering embrace.
The steady thrum of my bike’s engine rumbled beneath me as I turned my head to the side, catching the black shadow on the ground, soaring high above, casting the crow’s wings on the dusty ground as he spread them wide.
Even incarcerated, I felt his presence. The crow never left me.
He might have been separated, but I caught his flight every afternoon, cawing as he dropped onto the windowsill of the library. He hopped from window to window, giving me an earful. Admonished by a fucking bird with black wings.
But that was all behind me now.
For the first time, I felt free. That was too fucking amazing to dwell on anything else.