Chapter 18
Marco
“She feels safe with you,” I tell Damion as I hold my Chula in my arms once more. She ran straight to Damion. A part of me hurts because of that.
“She knows I have connections, Marco. That’s it. She didn’t even want me touching her,” he says. My eyes shoot to his, and I wonder what that means. “Not like that. I tried to hug her, and she dropped to the floor.”
“This is all fucked up.”
“What happened?” Damion asks. “Why is she all bruised up?”
“She fought at the Pit. Trying to get my fucking attention. It was my fault. Anyway, she was at my place, went home at some point, and found her mom. She overdosed, and the state took her brother.”
“Fuck. That’s going to rip her apart.”
“I know it is, and I don’t know how to stop that.”
“She won’t get him back. Not running with a crew,” Damion says. I shift a little in my seat because I know that dig was for me.
“She isn’t crew.”
“She’s with you, Marco. That’s all they need to know.”
“What do you want me to do? Leave her?”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Marco. You were smart, man. You could have done something with your life. Art was your passion back then. Where’s that passion now?” he asks me. I shake my head and look down at Luna in my arms. She deserves more than me, but I can’t let her go.
“That night she killed him … it fucking killed me too, Damion. I walked in and there they were. I knew what she did. I knew, and there was nothing I could do about it,” I tell him truthfully for the first time since we stopped talking back then.
I’ve missed my brother. I’ve missed talking to him and just having him around, but back then, we chose two different paths in life.
“I get it, Marco. I do because it kills me every fucking day they aren’t here. It fucking kills me that you’re not here,” he admits.
“This is all my life has consisted of. I’ve never known anything but being crew, Damion.”
“You think it wasn’t hard for me? It was.
I wanted to go back so many times. I wanted to take the easy way out, but I didn’t.
I fought and I fought hard, Marco. I’m not saying leaving it all behind is easy.
It’s not. I’m proof of that, but don’t you want better for her?
” he says, nodding at Luna. I look down at her, and I can’t imagine not having her by my side.
I can’t imagine not having her in my arms.
“You know I can’t afford it,” I tell him.
“You don’t have to. Come work for me, Marco. Just like Luna. I’ll pay you well, and you can save that up.”
“And the guys? I just leave them behind? I can’t do that. I took a vow when I made crew, Damion.”
“We all did! But what’s more important? Them or her? Is she worth changing your life for? Is she worth giving more?”
“She deserves the world, Damion. After what she’s been through and the things she’s done, she deserves everything.”
“And you don’t?”
“I don’t fucking know anymore. At one point, I thought so, but it’s been years, man. Years I’ve been this way.”
“You do deserve more, Marco.”
I shake my head. I don’t know what I deserve anymore. Maybe this is what my life is supposed to be. Maybe this is what I’m supposed to be.
“I know for a fact that she does,” I say, nodding toward Luna. She stirs and her eyes open and lock with mine before they fill with tears again. I lean down and press my lips to hers, and she lets me kiss her. When I pull back, I smile at her.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” I tell her.
“How? How is it okay, Marco? He’s gone. He was all I had.”
“He wasn’t all you had, Chula. You have me. You’ve had me from the day I laid eyes on you.”
“I love you.” Her words cause my chest to clench. Hearing them leave her lips is everything to me. It means everything to me.
“I love you too.” The tears stop as she gazes up at me. She lifts her arms and wraps them around my neck, pulling me as close as she can get me, and I let her. I know she needs this right now, and I’m going to give it to her.
“I’m happy for you two,” Damion says, breaking the moment. Luna pulls back and climbs up, sitting next to me on the couch, but never letting go of my hand.
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispers.
“Nothing. Nothing needs to be said, Luna. I can see the love you have for my brother. I’ve seen the things you’ve done for him.
I’m glad he has someone like you,” Damion tells her.
I’ve never heard him talk like that about anyone, so hearing it now is sort of a shock.
It’s not that Damion and I hate each other; we just chose different paths in life.
“He wants me to work for him,” I tell Luna. She looks from Damion to me and back before she smiles.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I don’t know what I’m doing, Chula.”
“You don’t want to make it out of there? You don’t want to be something more?” she asks. I reach for her face, brush a piece of hair behind her ear, and smile.
“For you, I want everything. I want the happy ending, I want the smiles, I want it all.”
“And I want it all with you.” Her words cause my chest to clench once more.
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“You learn. It wasn’t easy, Marco, when I left. It hurt. It fucking broke my heart, but you didn’t want out back then.”
“I’m not sure I want out now,” I admit.
“Then you take your time. When you figure it out, the offer stands.” Luna yawns again, and I know this night is wearing on her.
“We should go,” I say as I glance over at her.
“Stay the night. I have an extra room. Think about things, take your time. There’s no rush,” Damion says.
I nod my thanks as he stands and walks out of the living room.
Luna stands and holds out her hand to me.
I gladly take it. We walk down the hall and into the spare room, where Luna begins to strip out of her clothes.
I watch her, the way he body moves, the way she looks at me.
“I meant what I said,” I tell her.
“What part?”
“That I love you. I’ve never loved anyone who wasn’t family, Chula, but I love you.” She rushes toward me, throwing herself into my arms, and I hold her there. She holds me tightly, and I let her. I don’t want her to let go. This is what I want. I want her and all that comes with her.
“Can we talk?” she whispers.
“Of course.” She pulls away and climbs into the bed, covering herself up as I strip myself down and climb in. “What is it?”
“I know I’m not going to get him back,” she whimpers through a soft sob.
“We’ll fight it. We’ll fight to see him,” I tell her. She reaches over and grabs my hand in hers.
“Do you think Damion can help?”
“I’m sure he would. I don’t know what he can do, but we can ask him,” I reply. Luna rolls to face me now, and her hand comes up to rub the scruff on my jaw.
“You mean the world to me, Marco. Everything.”
“You too, Chula. You need to get some rest.” I pull her body against mine and hold her tightly until she falls asleep.
Then I slip out of bed, grab my jeans, and head to the kitchen.
I know Damion has to have something to drink, but when I get there, I see him.
He’s already pouring a glass and offers me one.
I nod, and he fills another before sliding it across the counter to me.
“She wants to ask you to help her,” I tell him.
“And you don’t want to?”
“I don’t want to owe you,” I admit.
“You wouldn’t. This isn’t really about you, Marco.”
“I get that.”
“I’ll help you both. No strings attached. I don’t want repayment, I just want you to be happy, and I think Luna makes you happy.”
“She does. More than I thought I could be.”
“Then that’s all I want. You deserve it as much as she does.”
“I don’t know, man. I’ve done a lot of shit in my time,” I remind him.
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Then why are you pushing this? I’m not the good guy here, Damion.”
“But you are. To her, you are. Don’t you see what you have right in front of you?
A girl who was willing to risk everything she had to get you out of jail.
Out of fucking jail, Marco! She killed, she did shit that she didn’t have to just to be with you.
” I take down my drink and motion for the bottle.
Damion slides it across the counter to me, and I pour another glass and bring it to my lips.
“A part of me hates her for that. There’s a fucked up part of me that can’t forgive her for going to him, even if it was to help me.”
“I get that too. That was a fucked up move.”
“And yet I made it,” she says. I lower my head and rest my hands on the counter in front of me when I feel her hands on my back. She slowly slips around and under my arm to stand in front of me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I rest my head on top of hers before pulling her into my arms.
“Do you know how dangerous that was?” I ask her.
“I know, but I had to do something. I wasn’t about to whore myself out like Kim said,” she tells me. I move now, stepping back and lifting her chin so she has to look at me.
“Kim said that?”
“Yeah. She said we had no choice, but I did. I wasn’t about to do that,” she tells me. Now I lean down and press my lips to hers. I kiss her hard, too. I’m so fucking glad she didn’t listen to Kim’s dumb ass.
“Good girl,” I tell her, and she beams up at me. I still see the hurt in her eyes, and it kills me about Davey, but there’s nothing I can do about that now. I can only hope that Damion can work his magic and pull some strings, and at least let her see him.
“I like being told that.”
“I bet you do,” I laugh now. I can’t get enough of her, and I don’t want to.
“I’m going back to bed. Feel free to drink that,” Damion says before he walks out of the room and back down the hall.
I lift Luna and set her on the counter before grabbing the bottle and bringing it to her lips.
I watch her take a drink before I snatch it away and crush my mouth to hers, taking everything she has to give me.