Chapter Twenty-Three
Maddie
The elevator doors opened, and my father walked in. Helping my mother find the information she needed woke something inside me. Something I never thought would come to life.
Hope.
“We may have found something,” I said with enthusiasm. But the look on my father’s face told me he wasn’t listening. I looked at my mother, and her smile was gone.
Standing up, I faced my father. “Dad? What’s wrong?”
“Maddie, sweetheart, I need to speak to your mother.” It was a dismissal.
His eyes never left my mother, but I didn’t want to leave them alone.
Not after what she’d just told me about my stepfather.
That was how I thought about him now. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t deny he’d been married to my mother.
But he wasn’t my father.
I didn’t believe my father would hurt her, not physically. But the anger that radiated off him had me concerned. I’d never seen him angry like this. My mother must have seen the worry on my face because she smiled at me and said, “It’s okay, honey. You have that meeting you need to go to.”
My brow furrowed, not understanding at first, but it quickly came back to me. She’d been against me talking to Mr. Sinclair, but now she wanted me to go. Whatever had made my father angry, she must have known what it was.
“If you’re sure?” I pressed.
“I am.” She wrapped her arms around me and whispered, “He won’t hurt me. I’ve been waiting for this.”
I closed my eyes against my tears. Suddenly I was seven years old, hearing my parents fighting.
At the time, I’d wished they would divorce, but now.
.. now all I wanted was to watch my father kiss my mother the way he did that first morning I saw them together.
I wanted to see him playfully swat her ass.
My mother stepped back, and I stood before my father.
“I don’t know why you’re so angry, but let her explain,” I begged.
He pulled me against his chest and whispered, “I still love her with every fuckin’ cell in my body.”
I nodded against his shoulder, then moved toward the elevator, leaving them to work out whatever had come between them.
When I stepped out into the lobby, I smiled at Walter as he held the door for me. Stepping out onto the street, I took a deep inhale of the warm air. Summer was almost here, and before long, the pressing heat would be on us.
I walked to the train station, enjoying the quiet sounds of the city. Boston was so different from New York. The people were similar, and the traffic wasn’t any different, but the sounds and smells were like night and day.
There was a hint of saltwater in the air, mingling with the scent of magnolia and cherry blossoms that lined the streets and parks. The noise of the traffic was subdued; there were no honking horns or screaming pedestrians to drown out the hum of the cars.
Yet I missed New York. It was where I’d grown up. Where I’d planned to raise my children. Until I met Salvatore.
The love of my life.
The man whose heart I broke when I walked away. The man whose death was my fault, because I let myself fall in love with someone who wasn’t Irish.
As the train pulled into the station, I sighed.
I still loved this city, but being here broke my heart.
Knowing my son was only a few blocks away, and I couldn’t see his face, hear his voice, or hold him in my arms. I took a deep breath as I stepped off the train.
I was here for a reason, and until my task was completed, Henry had to be put back into the locked box inside my heart.
The one place he would never be hurt.
Looking up at the building I was so familiar with, I smiled as I thought of my friend. He was living in Nebraska now with his husband and daughter. I shook my head, thinking about Dante Sharp living in the country.
The receptionist eyed me as I walked toward her. “I’d like to see Mr. Sinclair, please.”
“Do you have an appointment?” she asked.
“I don’t, no.” I hadn’t thought to make an appointment.
“Your name?”
Before I could answer, her phone rang. “Yes, sir?” She listened to the voice on the other end and smiled. “Right away, sir.”
Standing from her desk, she smiled and said, “Please follow me, Mrs. Valentinetti.”
My breath hitched at the name. No one called me by that name because most people still didn’t know. But Sinclair knew. He’d been the one to help Salvatore and me.
I followed the older woman down the hallway to his office. She opened the door, allowing me to enter, and then closed it behind me.
“Madigan, what a pleasure it is to see you.”
Sinclair pulled me into his arms, and I felt my body relax against him. His hug was similar to my father’s. Parental, safe, loving.
He pulled back, his hands on my biceps. “What can I do for you?”
“I was hoping you might be able to give me some information.”
His hands dropped from my arms, and he gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. “Have a seat, dear.”
His desk was imposing, and when he sat in the chair behind it, I held back a shiver. I knew the rumors that had spread about this man and what he had done. What he expected in return for his time and effort.
But to me, he was my friend’s father. He’d become an uncle of sorts. The kind of family you didn’t talk about but knew would always be there for you.
“What do you need, Madigan?”
I smiled at his use of my full name. He was the only one who used it and instructed Dante to use it as well. And he did when Sinclair was around. Otherwise, Dante called me Maddie, like everyone else.
“I am looking for information about Valentino Valentinetti.”
Sinclair studied me, his gaze sharp and knowing. “Did your mother send you here?”
“No,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “In fact, she asked me not to come.”
“She doesn’t trust me,” he said, his words sounding almost proud.
“It’s not that—”
“It’s quite all right. I count your mother a friend, though she may not agree.” He stood up from his desk and walked toward the far wall. Using a retinal scanner, the wall moved revealing a hidden door, and he disappeared behind it.
I stayed in my seat because if there was one thing I had learned about Crispin Sinclair; it was not to assume you were invited into his secrets. He kept them close, for his protection and his family’s. I was fortunate to be included in that family because of my relationship with Dante.
When he came back to the office, I asked, “How does Dante like Nebraska?”
Sinclair huffed. “He tolerates it for his daughter.”
I smiled, knowing Dante would do anything for his daughter.
I’d never met her. He’d only learned he had a daughter in December of last year.
But Dante was the type of person who loved with everything he had.
The kind of person who would do anything to make the people he loved happy. Danny was a lucky man.
Sinclair handed me a large manila envelope. It was thick, and I knew everything we needed to know was inside. My hand trembled as I reached for it.
“Are you sure, Madigan?” he asked. “Secrets like these can tear worlds apart.”
“Maybe it’s time to tear apart those worlds,” I whispered, holding the file against my chest.
“I can help you get your son back, Maddie.”
My eyes snapped to his. He’d never, in all the years I’d known him, called me Maddie. Tears swam in my eyes, tipping over as I shook my head.
“I can’t uproot his life. It isn’t fair to him.”
“Life isn’t fair, Mrs. Valentinetti. If it were, you wouldn’t need that information. In fact, it wouldn’t exist at all.”
I studied the man whom I’d admired my whole life. The man whom everyone saw as the Devil. But he’d been my savior. And I would always love him for that.
“He’s happy. He doesn’t know who I am. It would be selfish of me to take him away from his family.”
“You are his family.”
I nodded and stood. “And one day, when he’s older, maybe he’ll let me be a small part of it.” Maybe he’d want to know who his mom and dad really were and how much they loved him. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and Salvatore. And Henry.”
I hugged him and kissed his cheek before I walked out of his office. I moved faster than I needed to, but I had to get away from him before I took him up on his offer.
I wanted my son more than I wanted anything in my life, and I knew Sinclair could make that happen. But the price was too steep. And Henry would be the one to pay the highest price.
I stuffed the envelope into my purse and made my way to Central Park. If I hurried, I could still catch a glimpse of him before they went home.
I found my bench; the one I’d always sat on. I didn’t care if they saw me. I was only in the city for a few hours, and I wanted to see my son. My eyes searched the playground for my son. Desperate to see his dark hair, so much like his father’s.
“They’ve already left.”
I jumped at the deep voice, the accent unmistakable. I swallowed hard, afraid to turn around. It wasn’t Maxim Fedorov’s voice, but one of his men.
“Miss Kelley?”
I closed my eyes and said, “I’ll go. I was here for an appointment and I... I just wanted to see him. I’m not here to cause trouble. I won’t upset his life.”
“Maddie,” he said, his voice softer, less gruff, less threatening.
I couldn’t move, afraid that if I did, hands would reach out and snatch me away. I shouldn’t have come here. When I left Sinclair’s office, I should have gone straight to the train station.
“I-I’ll leave,” I stuttered. “Please, just give me a few moments. If he’s not here, then I...” My words trailed off when the man sat on the bench beside me.
“I’m not here to hurt you, moya dusha.”
I turned to look at him, and my heart stuttered. He lifted his hand to wipe away the tears that fell, and my body froze in fear. Not the kind of fear you felt when your life was in danger. It was the fear you felt the moment you knew your heart was.
His deep blue eyes stared into mine, and I felt things I hadn’t felt in years. Emotions I never thought I’d feel again welled up inside me. I felt my cold, dead heart crack. Felt it opening up to make room.
I shook my head. No, the only room in my heart was for Henry. The rest of it died when Salvatore did. I stood up quickly, the man following me.
“I-I need to go.”
He reached out and grabbed my hand, and a spark sent a ripple through my body.
He felt familiar, as if I knew him. His dark hair and beard, his chiseled jaw, his face—it all swam in my head, looking for any memory to explain my reaction.
I chalked it up to seeing him here when I came to watch Henry.
That had to be it. I pulled my hand back, but he held it in his grip. My body began to shake, and when he noticed, he pulled me against his chest. The smell of his cologne assaulted my senses, causing my body to relax of its own accord.
“Ya tebya ne otpushchu, moya dusha,” he whispered.
Who was he?
Why was he here?
I pulled away, staring at him. Trying to figure out the puzzle he had become in my head. My reaction to him, the way my body sank against him, didn’t make sense. Only one person had ever made my body react the way it was right now.
And he was gone. But he would never be forgotten. He was the love of my life. The only man I’d ever given myself to. The only man I ever would.
“Tell them I won’t come back. I promise.”
“Maddie, wait.”
I hurried out of the park; I had to get away from him. Away from the feelings that shouldn’t be there. Not for him. Not for anyone, ever again.