37. Chapter 37
Inever left Peiro’s side as he recovered, even in the moments when Fyom insisted that I drink the tonics he made for my own recovery, as I was toeing the line of burnout once again.
Fyom bickered that it was too close for his comfort and refused to leave until every tonic was drained to the last drop.
I obliged just to end his father-like squabbling—even if his care tenderly warmed my heart.
Every day he would administer rounds of Healing and check Peiro’s vitals, waiting for signs of change.
He would waft concoctions of floral and spiced smoke through the air, claiming it helped the process.
After that, he would force me to eat pieces of bread and cheese before he left to help Paige decipher the runes.
It was a relief that Paige knew of the ancient city of Graevicka and had even studied it years ago.
This explained her interest in Feodean and gave her the chance to lord her knowledge over the brother.
Ora and Sury would visit my room together, mumbling updates and other topics in my direction, but nothing registered as my tired eyes stayed locked on Peiro’s body.
You almost killed him again.
Stop reminding me, I bit back to the voice that had grown persistent the last couple of days. It had been quiet, almost like it was gone altogether. I almost rejoiced until it violently returned, more wicked than ever.
You and your sister might have stunned me, dear child, but I am always with you, Ophelia. Lock in, girl; we’re one in the same.
Its constant reminders of my failures and doubts seemed to fuel its evilness, and I was the target.
He will see you as the monster this time. How can one man forgive you after so many attempts on his life, regardless of if they were accidental or collateral?
Shut up.
Don’t believe it for a second, princess, when he claims to love you.
He is only using you to free himself of the curse that rolls in his veins.
Have you ever thought if it weren’t for your Wielding, that you two would just pass one another by?
If you didn’t have Thuvina’s divine gift, you would just be another easy lay.
That’s not true. It couldn’t be. Could it?
Time became a blur as I watched every rise and fall of his chest. The first days were torture with waiting in the unknown, wondering if his eyes would ever reopen.
One evening, Uriah came to help hold Peiro’s massive form for me to dress him in a fresh tunic.
Thankfully he kept his questions at bay and quickly left the room. That moment felt like forever ago.
In moments of panic, I checked to see if Peiro’s lifesource was still there—delicately honing the illicitus to see that it radiated within him.
His lifesource glowed so beautifully and more brightly than before.
A silver starburst that expanded with each breath he took, and still felt so powerful.
It was hard not to be enthralled by the subtle beating and glowing.
Despite Ora’s encouragement, I barely trusted myself to sense something so precious without having the desire to take it for myself. But each time I watched it pulse, I felt hope. I felt myself growing stronger as I resisted the pull to take.
As Peiro laid in bed, I wiped away the sweat that formed on his brow.
His skin had grown warm and his hair even softer as I pushed the strands away from his face.
My eyes lingered on the undone strings at the top of his tunic and followed the swirled lines of ink that dipped and spread to hidden depths below the fabric.
With soft fingers, I delicately traced the planes of his muscled chest before they traveled along his growing beard. Ever so gently, I followed the angle of his jaw, cupping his face as I leaned in to place a tender kiss upon his soft lips.
“Come back to me, please,” I whispered against his mouth as a tear escaped its hold.
A sudden shift in the bed caused me to quickly pull back right as his eyes slowly opened.
I reached for his hand, tightening my grip as Peiro took in the room around him.
He blinked slowly before his gaze finally landed onto mine.
I was in awe as I fell into those deep pools.
No hints of gray or silver shadowed the swirls of every shade of brown I could think of.
“Hi.” I smiled weakly as he continued to stare in my direction. Gingerly I pushed a stray lock of silky hair away from his face and tucked it behind his ear. He looked at me confused, like he almost didn’t recognize who I was. “Do you remember…”
Peiro sprung forward, his fingers twisting in my hair until they found rest on the back of my neck and pulled me in.
Our lips clashed, desperate to be closer.
I didn’t realize that he had pulled me from the chair I had been sitting in until I was straddling his body.
A light moan escaped his throat as his hands eagerly moved to my waist, gripping me like I was something to be cherished.
Something that would disappear the moment he let go.
“Tell me this is real.” His voice was rough.
“Yes,” I panted as his lips found mine once again.
“It was only a dream…” My mind didn’t have time to wrap around his words as the softness of his tongue touched mine, telling tales of desperation.
Each kiss sang the songs of old love needing to fulfil a desolate heart.
I didn’t realize I was still crying until a soft finger wiped away a stray tear from my cheek.
“Why do you cry?” Peiro whispered against my skin, his lips skirting my jaw and down to my neck. Heat coursed through me and consumed the thoughts that tried to formulate in my mind.
“I thought I lost you,” I croaked, still unable to believe he was alive and breathing. That he was here now, embracing me, when he should be dead. “I am so sorry.” Familiar shame bubbled, threatening to choke me from within.
Peiro’s lips clashed against mine again, practically shushing the words before they could escape into the room and beyond. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
I pulled back from his grasp and fully took him in as he lay beneath me. “I have so much to be sorry for,” I whispered back in defiance. “You wouldn’t be in this state if it wasn’t for me becoming some sort of brute…a monster. Something that should be locked away so I won’t hurt anyone else.”
Peiro slowly rose up and forward, his breath inches away from mine.
He tilted his head, taking me in. “If not for you?” His fingers took my chin and straightened my gaze to meet his.
“I have felt free since the moment I met you. You have awakened the shadows of my soul and given me a purpose—not to just be called to defend a kingdom, but to love again. I meant every word I’ve said before, Ophelia. I am alive when I am with you.”
Unshed tears threatened to take hold of me in response to his affection.
I felt broken and hollow and like his promises weren’t justified.
I was wreckage pretending to be whole. Knowing what was at my hands and fingertips, the power that could destroy—my heart didn’t deserve the beautiful words he gave me.
I closed my eyes, allowing the tenderness to absorb deep inside my chest. “But how?” It was the question I’d been playing over in my mind for so long.
“I bring you pain. My very essence is meant to control you.” I turned my eyes away, refusing to look at him as my heart began to crack.
“How do we even know what we feel is real? If I didn’t have this cruelty inside of me, would we even know each other?
Would we have the same fate? Would we feel this love for one another? ”
The words were there, unable to return. My innermost fear and the doubt I wrestled with now swelled between us. The ink had done a stupendous job planting that seed of uncertainty in my mind as I watched Peiro battle to return. The silence between us grew deafening.
Soft fingers reached for the side of my face, redirecting my timid gaze back to Peiro.
“I do not know what the giants have in store for us, but”—a smile appeared on his face, adding more confusion to the swirl of thoughts in my head—“is this your way of finally admitting that you love me?” Peiro asked, the grin now seeping into his words.
How could I not love him? The man who saw more in me than I saw in myself? My heart threatened to burst with the truth. “I—”
A strong finger pressed against my lips. “Wait. Before you answer, how long have I been in this bed?”
“Uhm,” I began, trying to calculate the time. “A few days at least. Why?”
Peiro hummed as he nodded. “A bath. I need a proper bath. Will you help me get out of this bed?” he asked as a roguish sparkle appeared in his eye.
“Of course.” I immediately shifted away from his body, my own already missing his touch. Calculating the sheer size of him, I wasn’t sure if I could support all of his hard, toned body without toppling us both to the ground. “I can go fetch Uriah or another male servant to help—”
“No, Naa’n le’ya,” Peiro barked, the intensity in his voice causing me to jump slightly. “I do not want anyone, especially a male, to walk into this room right now.” The sparkle that was in his eye turned into a kernel of heat on the verge of bursting into flame.
I nodded then quickly made my way to the adjoining bathing chamber. With quick work of my Wielding, the tub was full of warm water ready to be used before I returned to his side.
“Will you help me to the chamber?”
I gave him a pointed glare for his ridiculous question as I grasped his massive hands and pulled him upright, quickly slipping my arm around his waist while his own draped heavily across my shoulders.
For several breaths, he swayed. I was almost certain we’d both tumble to the ground before he finally steadied.
We began the slow march forward, each step a small shuffle as I battled to hold him upright until his footing grew sure.
The doorway to the chamber loomed close when his strength finally failed.