Chapter 13
Everett
Iwalk through the door bearing enough Wicked Wok Chinese food to feed a small army, which is approximately what I’m dealing with at the moment.
Lemon immediately intercepts me. “Ava’s a vegan.”
“News to me.” I wince. “I have rice?”
Carlotta snorts from the couch. “Don’t worry, Sexy. Lot Lot bought out Merman’s market in Fallbrook.”
“Merman’s?” My eyes widen as I look at Lemon.
Merman’s. The grocery store where a single apple costs more than my law-school textbooks. The place where people take pictures of their groceries before eating them. The store that somehow convinced an entire generation that paying forty dollars for organic lettuce is reasonable.
Lemon’s face goes red. “It was for a good cause.”
“How much?” I ask, though I’m not sure I want to know.
“Twelve hundred dollars,” she mutters.
I set the Chinese food down before I drop it. “For groceries?”
“For groceries,” she confirms.
I’ve sentenced people to community service for less. In fact, I’m fairly certain twelve hundred dollars at Merman’s qualifies as grand theft, and Lemon was the victim.
I make a mental note to check our bank account. And possibly increase our grocery budget. Significantly.
“Hey Dad! Lottie took us to the circus today!” Ava announces, bouncing on the couch. “And we saw Lottie’s hot ex-boyfriend Bear!”
I freeze. “Bear Fisher?” I ask, though I already know the answer.
Olivia nods enthusiastically. “He’s really hot. Like, really hot.”
“Whatever happened with you and Bear anyway?” she asks Lemon.
Evie perks up from the other side of the room. “Yeah, how did Aunt Keelie end up with him?”
Lemon’s face flushes. “It’s not really a great story.”
“Oh, I’ll tell it!” Carlotta says, sitting up straighter.
“So, Lottie Dottie and Bear were high school sweethearts. And by sweethearts, I mean Lot Lot was sweet and Bear was a womanizing nightmare who stalked her like prey and then proceeded to stomp on her heart by sleeping with everyone in their class who wore a skirt—except for Keelie and her trampy sister.”
I feel my jaw tighten even though I’m more than familiar with the story.
Carlotta continues, clearly enjoying herself. “Lottie spent most of her Friday nights crying her eyes out because Bear’s two-timing ways were basically a hobby for him. Like going to the bathroom. It was all very routine.”
“Carlotta.” Lemon wrinkles her nose.
“What? It’s true! And you kept taking him back. Over and over. It was painful to hear about, honestly.” Carlotta turns to the girls. “One of the many girls Bear slept with was Regina Kowalski. You know, Gina, the real estate agent. Lot Lot punched her in the nose when she found out.”
Ava gasps. “You punched someone?”
“It was a long time ago,” Lemon mutters.
Truthfully, it was just a few months back. I’ve presided over assault cases with less compelling evidence than the entire town’s eyewitness testimony. Fortunately for my wife, I find her statute of limitations adorable.
“And get this,” Carlotta says. “Naomi Turner, Keelie’s twin, tormented Lottie in high school because Bear rejected her. Which was shocking because he was sleeping with literally everyone else.”
I glance at Noah, who’s watching this unfold with a calm that only comes from hearing this story before.
“But now Bear’s married to Keelie,” Carlotta finishes. “And they’re very happy. The end.”
There’s a beat of silence. Then Ava says, “So Lottie gets all the best guys in Honey Hollow.”
I raise an eyebrow.
Olivia nods. “First Bear, then Noah, then you, Dad. That’s not fair.”
“Well,” I say carefully, “I’d argue she upgraded.”
Noah snorts.
Lemon gives a little laugh. “Noah and your dad are both very nice people. I couldn’t go wrong with either of them. The upgrade with them both is planets away from where Bear and I left off.”
Ava nods. “And if something went wrong with you and for some reason you bit the big one, I’m sure Dad would find a very nice lady to marry, too.”
Lemon shoots me a death glare that could melt steel.
“I wouldn’t marry anyone else,” I say firmly without missing a beat.
In my defense, I’ve spent years learning to read a courtroom. A man doesn’t survive on the bench, or in this marriage, without recognizing when a verdict is about to come down against him.
Carlotta breaks out in a laugh and slaps her thighs as if she’s at the county hoedown. “Nice save, Sexy!” she hoots.
I thought so.
Noah nods. “He knows what side his bread is buttered on.”
“Eww.” Olivia looks as if she’s going to be sick. “That sounds totes inappropriate.”
Evie grins. “Okay, but now I want the full origin story. How did you guys even get together?”
Ava and Olivia lean forward.
“Yes! Tell us, Lottie,” Ava begs. “And start with Uncle Noah. He’s pretty hot, too. You’ve basically got a track record of picking up hot guys and losing them.”
“Pay attention, Dad.” Olivia says it as if she’s trying to warn me.
Duly noted. Apparently, I’m one wrong move away from joining a catalog of handsome cautionary tales.
Lemon looks at me, then at Noah, then back at me. “This is going to take a while.”
“We’ve got time,” Evie says, settling in.
The girls gather around, Ava, Olivia, and Evie all watching as if we’re about to perform a one-act play.
Lemon sighs. “Fine. Noah and I dated first. We had a, well, complicated relationship.”
Noah clears his throat. “We were serious. Very serious. But I made a mistake.”
“What kind of mistake?” Ava asks.
“I forgot to mention I was technically still married,” Noah says. “I was in the process of getting divorced, but I didn’t tell Lottie. My ex rolled into town, and Lottie felt deceived.”
Lemon nods. “Because I was.”
“Inadvertently.” Noah is staunch when it comes to defending his bad moves.
“So we broke up for a bit to give me time to think. I definitely needed a little space to clear my head,” Lemon continues. “And then Everett asked if we could date.”
I step in. “I had been interested in Lemon for a while. But she was with Noah, so I kept my distance. When they went on a break, I asked her out.”
“And you said yes?” Olivia asks Lemon. “And you married him immediately?”
“Eventually,” she says. “But it wasn’t a typical romance.”
We landed in bed within two minutes after she broke up with Noah. We didn’t have time for dinner and a movie.
I take over. “As for the marriage, I had a situation. My father’s trust required me to be married by the end of the year or I’d forfeit my inheritance to the government.”
Evie’s eyes widen. “Wait, what?”
“It’s a long story,” I say. “But the short version is that I needed to get married or lose everything. Lemon was dating Noah at the time, but she volunteered to help me as a friend.”
“We got married on the night before Christmas Eve,” Lemon adds. “It was supposed to be temporary.”
“But it wasn’t,” I say, looking at her. “What started as a marriage of convenience turned into something real.”
Ava sighs. “That’s so romantic.”
“It’s complicated,” Lemon corrects.
“And messy,” Noah adds.
“But it worked out,” I say. “Lemon is my forever.”
Lemon’s face softens, and she smiles at me.
“Wait,” Olivia says. “So you were married to Lottie, but she was still with Noah?”
“No,” Lemon says quickly. “Noah and I were on a break. Then Everett and I got married. Then Noah and I... well, it’s even more complicated than that.”
“Very complicated,” Noah agrees.
“But now you’re married to Everett for real?” Ava asks.
“For real,” Lemon confirms.
“And Noah’s okay with that?” Olivia presses.
Noah shrugs. “I’m not thrilled. But I want Lottie to be happy. And if Everett makes her happy, then I can live with it.”
He scowls my way because we all know he can’t.
I nod. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” Noah says. “I’m still a part of this family. So you’re stuck with me. I guess that means I’m your forever, too.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” I say, and hold back the scowl.
Lemon looks between us, her expression a mix of exasperation and affection. “You two are sweetly ridiculous.”
“We’re committed,” I correct.
“To driving me insane,” she mutters.
Carlotta cackles. “Welcome to the family, girls. It only gets weirder from here.”
And somehow, I don’t doubt that for a second.