56. Liv
Liv
Hand raised to knock on the door of Will’s apartment, I reminded myself to pretend Theo and I weren’t together.
I didn’t want to make this more complicated than it was already bound to be.
Still, I had to fight the unwelcome sensation that here was yet another family where I didn’t belong. Another place where I didn’t fit in.
It was absurd. This wasn’t about me, and there was good reason to hold off telling everyone. Still, I was so sick of pretending. I wanted to claim us, to share us with the world.
It was silly of me to wish that day was today; after all, this visit had another, far more important purpose. “Grandma, are you ready?” I said, glancing sideways at her.
Next to me, the woman who had once been a little girl lost in the snow drew herself up straight. “I don’t know if one can ever be ready for something like this,” she said. “But go ahead and knock, Olivia. I’m not getting any younger.”
So I did.
The door swung wide. On the other side stood a tiny, gnarled woman who looked nothing like my grandmother, at least on the surface.
Her eyes were hazel rather than dark brown, her hair straight rather than wavy.
But something about the determined set of her chin, even as it wobbled with emotion, her clear, unflinching gaze, reminded me indelibly of Grandma Ella.
The two of them stared at each other from either side of the threshold.
And then Susi Dressler opened her arms, and my grandmother stepped forward so fast she half-stumbled into them.
They stood there, hugging and sobbing. “Lily,” Susi said again and again.
“My Lily. I can’t believe it. It’s a miracle. You’ve come back to me.”
Theo smiled at me from behind them, tears glinting in his eyes.
Next to him stood a man who must be Will.
His hair was blond instead of dark, but it tumbled into his eyes just like Theo’s did.
He had his arm around a pregnant brunette, and clinging to his leg was a toddler who could be Theo’s clone.
They all looked shell-shocked, and I couldn’t blame them.
Will’s eyes caught mine. His, too, were filled with tears. “Thank you,” he mouthed.
“You’re welcome,” I mouthed back.
I didn’t care what I’d given up to make this happen. It was all worth it.
Will stepped forward, steering his grandmother and mine across the threshold.
They moved together, as if they were one organism, and I followed.
Inside, it was warm and smelled of sugar cookies.
The living room was cozy, with jewel-colored throws, a profusion of books, and a well-worn, overstuffed couch.
Will guided Grandma Ella and Susi to it and they sat, arms still around each other, both talking at once.
"You look so much like our mother—”
“I’m sorry for all you’ve suffered.”
“I should be the one apologizing. If I hadn’t taken my eyes off you that day…”
Theo, Will, and I stared at them, mesmerized. Then Will stepped back, as if to give them privacy, and turned to me, a wry expression on his face.
“Nice hat,” he said.
It was the perfect thing to say. Anything else would’ve been maudlin. It broke the tension, and all of us laughed, though Abby swatted him so hard, he winced.
“Thank you,” I said with as much dignity as I could manage. “My daughter made it.”
His eyes softened. “I’m Will. This is Abby, and our son Caiden. What you’ve done for us... We could express our gratitude for the rest of our lives and it wouldn’t be enough.”
Abashed, I cleared my throat. “I didn’t do it alone, and you don’t have to thank me. This could’ve happened about a hundred years earlier if my family hadn’t been so stubborn. If they’d been willing to look at the evidence instead of what they were so desperate to believe.”
“And if ours had been able to afford better lawyers,” Theo’s mother interjected.
I glanced over at where she stood by the window, a bit apart from everyone else. Was it my imagination, or had she been crying? “Yes,” I said warily. “That, too.”
She glanced over at the couch, where Susi and Grandma Ella were chattering away.
“I owe you an apology, Olivia. I said some very rude things to you, not to mention about you, the first time we met. I understand if you can’t forgive me, but in AA…
I’ve never been very good at working my steps, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you’re supposed to make amends. ”
Wow. This was more than I’d expected. “Of course. There’s nothing to forgive.”
She gave me a small, sad shrug. “That’s very gracious of you, but I think we both know better. I hear I owe you and Theo congratulations.”
Shock washed over me again, this time for an entirely different reason. My gaze flicked to Theo, and found him full-out grinning. “I told them,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m proud of who we are together. And quite frankly, I’m sick of hiding shit.”
I wanted to reprimand him for his filthy mouth.
But instead, I surprised myself by violating every rule of decorum my mother had ever taught me, flinging myself into his arms, and kissing him on it instead.
He responded with enthusiasm, lifting me off my feet and spinning me around. “I love you,” he whispered in my ear.
When he set me down, his mother was regarding us, one eyebrow raised in a way that reminded me of Theo himself. “Since you’re both so happy,” she said, “let me give you something else to celebrate. My mother persuaded me to drop the lawsuit.”
“Really?” A smile broke across my face. “Grandma, did you hear that?”
My grandmother turned from her sister to look at me. “Did I hear what, sweetheart?”
“There’s no more lawsuit.” I looked up at Theo for confirmation, gratified when he nodded. “It’s gone.”
Susi sat up straight. “We’re together now,” she said, her jaw set in that familiar, pugnacious line. “Nothing matters more than that. And family doesn’t turn on each other.”
“No, we don’t,” my grandmother agreed. “There’s no one to blame for what happened but that man James MacEwan, and even he was a victim of sorts.
I’ve read my father’s journal; without DNA evidence, there was no way to know for sure whose child I was, and God knows he paid the price, just like your mother. Our mother,” she corrected herself.
She turned toward Theo’s mom, never letting go her sister’s hand. “Joan, there’s something I’d like to do for you. Whatever you owe on your apartment, I’d like to pay it off. And”—she turned toward Will and Abby—“I’d like to set up a trust for Caiden and the baby.”
Abby’s mouth fell open. “That’s not necessary,” she began, just as Will said, “No, you don’t have to—”
My grandmother shook her head, exasperated. “I know I don’t have to. I want to. It’s something I can do. Something I’d like to do, for my family. That is, if you’ll accept it.”
Theo’s mother dropped her head. “I’m so embarrassed,” she muttered. “After the way I treated all of you…”
“That’s over and done with.” My grandmother’s voice was firm.
“I intend to tell my sons the same. Whether they’ll listen is up to them, but I really hope you will.
Consider it a sort of recompense. Without the kindness of Divine Grace, the family that took me in, and the Carters, I could have wound up like that poor anonymous girl, dead on a slab.
” Her voice caught. “Or I could have wound up like the child who was born Ella Carter, lost who knows where. The point is, there but for the grace of God go I. Paying it forward like this is the least I can do.”
Will had gone into the kitchen to get Abby some water. Now he swept the half-empty glass from her hand and raised it. “To Ella Carter,” he said. “Wherever she might be. And to family.”
“To family,” we all echoed.
From my spot by the bookshelf, I watched Theo’s mother sit down beside my grandma, tears in her eyes.
Next to them, Susi shot me a grateful look.
Caiden had produced a remote-controlled T-Rex from somewhere and was making it attack the table leg, while Abby tried to bribe him with a cookie.
On his way out of the kitchen with another glass of water, Will ruffled Theo’s hair, grinning.
It was beautiful chaos, and I loved every second of it, especially when Theo wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to the top of my head.
A bone-deep sense of rightness settled inside me. Finally, in this sugar-scented apartment, with people who’d found each other against all odds, with a man who loved me and would stick by me no matter what, I’d found the place where I belonged.