Chapter 37
Thirty-Seven
Stone
The only godsend of being back in prison was the break from the heat.
There was no way to tell what time it was so far underground, but by the meager meal and the absence of astra light, he could assume that it was late which meant the Aquila would be sailing straight to the Isles, rule number two be damned.
Something tapped in the cell next to him, through the thick cinder walls.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
“Are you going to do that all fucking night?” The tapping stopped and he shut his eyes, leaning his head against the wall. He winced, the pain in his face still pounding, his ribs bruised and broken.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
“Sorry,” a voice came from the other side of the wall. “I’m going crazy in here.”
Stone ran a hand down his face, wincing at the tender flesh. He thought of Aesira, telling him to go, saw how broken she looked, how torn. He struggled to open his eyes and started counting the bricks of his cell, one by one. It was easier, even with the pain, than seeing her face behind his eyes.
The rejection stung more than he thought it would. Birdie, Bee, Patch. They were his friends and his family. He kept his circle small yet he’d invited her in.
He invited her, begged her, and she’d said no.
“What are you in for?” the voice again, too high to be a man, but rough around the edges like whatever she’d been through had destroyed anything soft she might have once been.
He wouldn’t tell this woman of Ravki. Wouldn’t say that he was supposed to be a free man for the first time in his life. Instead, he sighed, and said, “Smuggling.” It wasn’t far-fetched, considering that’s what all his other citations were for. “You?”
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
An anxious boot against the stone floor, he decided. Must be her first time in here. “I beat the shit out of a sentry.” The honesty in her answer made him laugh which turned to a wince when his lungs pressed against his bruised ribs. “Deserved it, though.”
“I don’t doubt that,” he said.
“What’s your name?”
“Odega.”
The woman’s laugh was just as rough as her voice. “We’re all Odega’s down here. What’s your real name?”
Stone slid his tongue across the back of his teeth, eyes searching for an anchor in the dark. He had a real name once. A name that was not tied to smuggling. Not tied to any crimes. A name he was given by someone who loved him, even if that love was brief and eventually abandoned.
He could tell this woman his real name, she was a stranger, no one to him. But when he opened his mouth, the name would not come out. He clamped his mouth shut. He hadn’t said his true name aloud in over a decade and for some reason it felt wrong to say it to anyone that wasn’t her.
Aesira.
Because even though she chose to stay, even though she was to be married to someone else, she still had a claim on him that he couldn’t explain. “Just Odega,” he said. “That’s all I am.”
That’s all I’ll ever be.
Just like Vic said.
"You'll never be more than this, Stone, and she'll never be yours."
His stomach soured. “And you?”
The woman tapped her boot again, rhythmic and calculated, against the stone floor. “Nevani,” she said. “But you can call me Nev.” He could hear, faintly, as she stood, something metallic bristling, like she was wearing armor. “So, Odega, how the fuck are we going to get out of here?”
Nev had eventually fallen asleep, the cell now eerily still without her anxious tapping and raspy voice.
Stone’s body ached, his mind still racing.
He carefully moved, lying flat on the ground, one hand resting behind his head, the other placing slight pressure on his stomach.
Even if he could sleep, he wasn’t sure he wanted to because every time he closed his eyes, he saw her, denying him. Telling him to go.
He’d never wanted much for his life. He wanted to be free from Vic, wanted to see that the cadre found a safe place to land, wanted to fly ships and feel the open air on his face, and now he wanted her. But he wanted her to want him too, which somehow was worse.
He attempted to roll onto his side, immediately regretting it as pain lanced up his middle. Something heavier than exhaustion settled over him, pushing him deeper into the hard floor. His eyes closed and even though the image of her face burned through him, his body relaxed.
“Wake up, Stone.”
He shot up, pain tearing through his abdomen.
“Fuck.” He gripped his side, his lungs working.
“Nev?” He pressed his ear to the shared wall of their cell, but there was nothing on the other side.
Without his glasses, he couldn’t see for shit, and the lack of moonlight or astra didn’t help, but through the darkness he thought he saw something shift in the corner.
He held his breath, waiting for the voice to come again or for whatever it was to move again.
Nothing.
Maybe he was more exhausted than he thought. He sat back down, running a shaky hand through his hair when a swell of darkness caught in the corner of his eye.
Black pooled on the floor of the cell, like ink split in water, rising up the wall, splintering through the cracks in the stone like a spider web.
The darkness spread over the wall, down onto the floor, inching its way until it curled around his boot.
He sat, eyes wide, pain searing through all the places the men had beat him.
“Oh we know you.” Voices from every direction sank their teeth into him, pressing down on his chest until it felt like it was torn wide open. Baring his heart. His soul. His most vulnerable memories all flashing behind his eyes.
His parents.
His scars.
His–
The smoky darkness snaked up his body, settling into the seams of the scars on his arms, his neck, his face. “Stone, such a shame, to not be called by your true name.”