The Volunteer
It had been four years since I’d been excited for the holidays. Growing up, my mum and dad took me out to the cottage for winter break. We didn’t celebrate Christmas. Instead, we celebrated the Winter Solstice. We used to decorate one of the trees on the property—a different one each year.
I’d run around the whole forest until I found the perfect one.
Most years we couldn’t even see it from inside but it was more fun that way.
Then we would sit in front of the fireplace, laughing and drinking hot chocolate and playing boardgames until I fell asleep on the rug.
It was our tradition right up until Dad was killed in the crash.
The Solstice after Dad passed, Mum and I still went up. We still decorated a tree. We still stayed up way too late drinking hot chocolate—although it was spiked—but we mostly cried, wishing Dad was still here, telling old stories. That was Mum’s last Solstice.
Then I was alone.
I still went up every year. I decorated a tree, then sat in front of the fireplace with a hot chocolate and a book.
I always took the week leading up to Christmas off.
Everyone wanted the 25th to the 27th off anyway, so I took the shifts no one wanted, kept up my tradition, and went to the cottage for a few days.
I would have left yesterday, but a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed villain had been utterly distracting. In fact, he was still being distracting. He had my back pinned to his chest while his fingers were relentlessly tormenting me.
“So stubborn,” he tsked in my ear, withdrawing his fingers again.
I had to bite my lip to keep from whimpering.
He’d made it his life’s mission to make me beg for him, but I was having none of it.
I didn’t beg. Ever. I shook my head. He tsked again, rolling me onto my back.
His fingers traced lazily over my skin, along my hip, up my side, down my side, circling my abdomen.
“I told you, all you have to do is ask me nicely.”
I gave him a devilish grin.
“And I told you to make me.”
“Wicked woman,” he teased, burying his head in my neck.
He kissed and nipped and sucked my skin while his fingers slipped back between my legs. His pace was so slow and agonizing, I couldn’t help squirming, trying to get more. A chuckle formed, rumbling through his chest as he tsked again and pulled away from me.
“You know what I want from you. Why are you so stubborn?”
“Self-control and a whole lot of pride.”
He’d been teasing me for nearly an hour and he didn’t show any signs of letting up, so I figured it was about time I returned the favour. I slid out of bed and headed for my closet.
“Where do you think you’re going? I wasn’t done with you yet.”
I looked over my shoulder to find him sitting up with a look of disbelief on his face. I chuckled as I began getting dressed.
“I have to pack.”
“To go where?”
“Every year, I go out to my cottage for the Winter Solstice,” I said, slipping into an oversized sweater and a pair of sweatpants.
I liked being comfy for my two and half hour drive north.
“I used to go up with my parents. After they passed, I kept going to feel closer to them. It was our tradition for as long as I can remember. I want to take you with me this year.”
“You’re… You want to share your family’s tradition with me?”
I walked back over to sit on the bed in front of him. “Of course I do, I love you. I want to share everything with you.”
For a split second I was worried that was too cheesy but he grinned so wide that I was sure his cheek muscles were working overtime. Then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.
“God, I love you.”
My hand went to his chest, pushing him away so I could head for my suitcase, tucked into the corner next to my dresser.
“Oh no, none of that. We need to leave before 10. There’s a storm rolling in, and I don’t want to be stuck driving in it.”
“I could make sure the way is clear for you. I could also get us there way faster than a car, if you don’t want to drive.”
“I want to drive. It will give us time to talk with absolutely no chance of distraction.”
His grin turned wicked. “You think I’m distracting?”
I chucked the nearest object at him—the empty case for my noise cancelling headphones sitting on the dresser. It bounced off a shield of ice, falling harmlessly to bed. When the shield dropped the look in his eyes screamed trouble.
“Violet.”
Nope, I was wrong. It was his tone that screamed trouble.
“Please,” I said softly. “Please get dressed so we can leave. I’ve had this tradition for as long as I can remember, and I really, really, really want to share it with you.”
His expression softened. “How am I supposed to say no to you?”
“You can’t.” I stuck out my tongue. “I’m too adorable.”
Twenty minutes later, we were pulling out of the parking garage.
It had been a while since I’d driven last. I only used my car if I was headed out of the city, given how expensive parking was and how good our public transportation system was.
I thought about selling the car a few times, but then I would have to ask someone else to come with me to the cottage.
A place I wasn’t ready to share until now.
Because it had been a while since I was behind the wheel, I asked that Austin keep quiet until we were out of the city.
It wasn’t the worst place to drive in, but I was still stressed until we cleared city limits.
Once Mount Veecy was nothing but a blip in my rear-view mirror, I snuck a glance at him.
He was watching me with a small smile on his face.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing. I think it’s cute. You’re white-knuckling your steering wheel, but the second we’re out of the city you’re going fifty over the speed limit.”
I looked down to see I was, in fact, going nearly a buck thirty in an eighty zone. I eased off the gas, instead of slamming on the breaks.
“Oops. Mum always said I had a lead foot.”
“Tell me about her.”
“What?”
“You wanted to talk with no distractions. I think this is a good place to start.”
“Good point.”
So we spent the whole two-and-a-half-hour drive chatting. I told him about my parents, what it was like growing up, old friends, fun stories from high school. He didn’t talk about his dad—fair enough, I didn’t know if I could stomach hearing more about that abusive piece of shit.
He mostly talked about Eva, what it was like growing up with her. The more he talked, the more I felt his pain, his confusion, the battle he was warring with himself.
“You should follow her. When we get back, I mean.”
“I have been. Well, my shadows have been. They’ve been bring me reports since yesterday. So far nothing but she spent most of yesterday with you.”
I tried not to gape at him. Last time I was enamoured with his powers, he’d gotten all pouty. How was I supposed to help it? They were amazing.
“I can’t believe you have two super cool powers and I got nothing.”
“It’s possible you did. The cold and the ice came right away but my shadows came later. Nearly two years after. You might have powers that are just waiting to be triggered.”
“Really?” He nodded. “How did you trigger them?”
“I was going after someone, a scientist on the development team for the incident. She was particularly paranoid and had managed to put together that the list of my victims was the same as the list of people involved in the incident. I kept thinking man I wish I had a way of learning her schedule. I wish I had a way to get closer. After a few weeks of getting nowhere, I was ready to give up until I heard this voice. It was like a hiss that told me exactly where she was and what she was doing. It freaked me out immensely because I thought I was losing my mind. Eventually, my shadows started to form, coil around me, talk to me. It took me awhile to learn how to work with them.”
“How come it took you two weeks to notice me following you? If your shadows are always watching?”
I caught him shrugging out of the corner of my eye.
“I have absolutely no idea. It’s possible they knew you weren’t a threat, so they didn’t feel like warning me.
Maybe they thought it was funny that I was being stalked instead of the one doing the stalking.
Who knows? They have a mind of their own.
And they’re a little obsessed with you. They like to follow you around and bring back reports of what you’re doing.
It’s… It’s why I sent you those flowers before your date.
They showed me when you received those awful pink and purple ones.
I was hoping you’d cancel your date if you received something better. ”
“I knew you were a liar.” I shook my head with a chuckle. “I would have cancelled, had you confessed.”
“If I’d known you were going to wear that fucking dress, I might confessed to save myself from the hangover.” He reached across the centre console, resting his hand on my thigh.
I grinned. “You like that dress?”
“Not anymore,” he mumbled.
“Too bad, I packed the red version, but if you don’t like it then I suppose I’ll have to leave it in the bag.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Red, you say?”
I laughed, nodding my head.
“It’s not exactly the same, the back is open and the sleeves are short instead of long.”
He sighed. “You’re an evil woman, Miss Hayes. If it looks like how I’m picturing it and you’d worn that, I think I might have gone on a murder spree to save myself from my shadows’ incessant reports.”
“You’re sure it’s not you subconsciously ordering them around? ’Cause you’re a little obsessed with me, too.”
“Not as obsessed as them.”
“Well, I think I might like them more than you.”
His shadows began to swirl around him while he scowled at them.
“They’re going to be insufferable now.”
I grinned. One of the shadows hovering near his hip inched closer to me. They were still curious, but cautious. Though they were becoming more comfortable around me, none had come close to touching me yet.
I took my right hand off the steering wheel, holding my palm out. The curious shadow paused, thinking, waiting. Then it moved, weaving around my fingers, over my palm and up my arm. It felt warm. Soothing. Safe. Like coming home after a long day and wrapping yourself in a fuzzy blanket.
“That’s enough.” Austin’s soft voice cut through the daze.
I blinked twice as the shadow slid back to him and put my hand back on the wheel.
Note to self, don’t do that again while driving.
At least the skies were still clear and the road was a straight shot.
Still, I should have been more careful, this area was entirely surrounded by forest. I’d nearly hit a dozen deer here over the years.
“Now they’re going to be extra insufferable.”
I laughed again. “Stop being jealous of your own shadows.”
He scoffed. “No.”
I snorted, readjusting my grip on the steering wheel. We were almost at the cottage now.
“So, I realized something.”
“What’s that?”
“I have no idea how old you are. I thought you were like my age, but if you were a year from gradating post-grad when the incident happened you would have been twenty-four or twenty-five. That would put you at twenty-nine or thirty. Unless you were one of those geniuses that flew through school.”
“I would have been.” He chuckled. “My school kept trying to put me in those high intensity programs but I was getting straight As without even trying. Why would I want to do more work and rush through school? It’s not like I needed a career, I had more than enough money from my mom.
It didn’t make sense to streamline anything.
So yes, I’m thirty. I’ll be thirty-one on the sixteenth. ”
“Of January?”
He nodded.
“What day is that?” I did some quick mental math. Christmas was this Wednesday, which meant New Year’s was also a Wednesday and the fifteenth always fell in line with the first so sixteenth would be… “A Thursday. Cool. We should do something.”
He looked up from his phone which was pulled up to the calendar app and blinked at me.
“How…the fuck did you know that?”
“I like numbers. And I’m good with dates. So birthday boy, what do you want to do?”
I caught him cocking an eyebrow.
“I don’t know. I never really celebrated. It’s just another day to me.”
I could relate to that one. I hadn’t celebrated my birthday since my parents died. Much to Amber’s dismay.
“I’ll make sure my night is clear. In case you change your mind.”
“What do you usually do for yours?”
“Before my parents died, they would throw a huge party every year. They’d invite all my friends and their parents up to the cottage for the weekend, or the weekend after if it fell midweek.
“My friends and I spent the whole time playing Home or Kick the Can or telling stories around the campfire. We’d blast music and dance around the fire, singing.
Once we were all teenagers, our parents would bring booze for us.
They said we’d do it anyway so at least if they brought it, they could make sure we were safe. ” I smiled at the memories.
“As I got older, my friend group shrank and my parents stopped coming ’cause I just wanted to hang out with friends.
” My smile turned sad. “I wish I hadn’t left them out, even if it was only three birthdays.
The last year before my dad died I did a weekend with a few of the girls from the hospital, then one with my parents.
I’m glad I did. It was the last birthday I got to celebrate with them, I don’t think I would have forgiven myself if I hadn’t.
” My voice dropped. “He died less than two weeks later.”
“What happened?”
“The other guy fell asleep behind the wheel and ran a red light. They were both DOA.”
“How do they know the other guy fell asleep?”
“His passenger survived. She panicked, trying to turn the wheel. Ended up making it worse for my dad but it saved her life. If they’d been coming from the other direction, he probably would have lived.”
Austin gently ran his thumb over my thigh.
“Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve this kind of luck. I mean, seriously, what are the odds of my parents dying exactly six months apart?”
“Exactly?”
“Yeah. Dad was September 8th. Mum was March 8th.”
“That’s… Huh.”
I focused back on the road. We were only two minutes away. I turned right onto a dirt road. There were three cottages along here. Each of the owners took turns paying for a plow to come. I was grateful they all used theirs in the winter as well or I would have been out a ton.
I slowed the car to a crawl. It was plowed, but other than that, the road was mostly unkept. Rocks, potholes, slush. I didn’t love driving an SUV in the city, but it was better for these conditions.
I made my way to the end, turned left, and eased my car up the hill, winding my way over the gravel driveway. I parked a few feet from the cottage and smiled over at Austin.
“Welcome to my favourite place on Earth.”