The Volunteer
Four weeks.
Four weeks of darkness.
Four weeks of beatings.
Four weeks of torture.
Four weeks without a word.
Four weeks without a sound.
Four weeks without Austin.
I knew he was out there, searching. Even with the black mist coating our bridge, I could feel him. His growing stress, his growing frustration, his growing panic. It made me wonder if he could feel mine, so I’d been trying to lock away my own emotions.
I didn’t want to cause him more pain. I didn’t want him to feel what these people were doing to me.
I was right about my first day. That beating was mild compared to what was to come. It only took a few days before they upped the violence—broken bones, knife wounds, torn skin from whips; he even decided to brand me.
They moved on to mental torture after week one. They had a witch—turns out witches were real, that was crazy to learn—who spent the last three weeks trying to break into my mental shields. Fat fucking chance of that.
I reinforced them every time I got back to my cell. They were completely fortified. My stone castle had yet to be breached, but—in addition to the moat—I added another wall, one of blue fire. The witch wasn’t strong enough to pass it.
They went back to physical torture last week—they probably hoped the combination of both would break me. But Officer Fucker clearly had no idea who he was messing with.
Today, they dragged me into the usual torture room. Eight guards like usual—two with their hands on me, six with tasers. You make one escape attempt, killing three guards, and suddenly you’re a flight risk.
They brought me to the back of the room, nothing out of the ordinary there, but chained me facing away from the wall—interesting. What could they—
The door Shithead usually came through opened. But it wasn’t him or the witch. Instead two guards were dragging a petite blonde woman into the room. Kicking and screaming.
Amber?
For the first time in weeks I felt genuine panic. They hadn’t been able to get to me, so they got to someone I loved. My best friend.
I opened my mouth to call for her but no sound came out.
Fuck! I hadn’t opened my mouth for four fucking weeks—not even to talk to Niko.
He was still bringing me reports, but I was worried that if I talked to him, everything would come pouring out.
Every thought, every fear, and I swore to myself I wasn’t going to shed a single more tear in this place.
The two guards threw Amber to the ground and left, slamming the door behind them. She ran over after them and pounded on the steel.
“Let me out, you fucking freaks!” she screamed.
I sat in my corner, not making a sound—hoping this was just a nightmare. I’d been having a lot of them lately because of the witch.
It took her two minutes before she gave up and surveyed the room. Her eyes scanned the black stone, the two metal doors with keypads, the torches lining the walls, and finally me. Her eyes went wide and she ran to me.
“Oh my god! Violet? Jesus Christ! What have they done to you?”
She took my face in her hands and studied me—every bruise, every mark, every cut. I said nothing.
“V, you have no idea what’s going on out there.
Your villains have been tearing apart the city to find you.
They burned down the whole of City Core last week.
Oh my god!” She cried. “What are these people doing to you? What do they want?” She dropped her hands from my face. “V, talk to me. Please, I’m terrified.”
I just stared at her.
She looked just like the last time a saw her.
Makeup done—a perfect neutral look—wavy blonde hair falling over her shoulder, not a single strand out of place.
She was dressed in her light-blue hospital scrubs—even that was in perfect condition.
She didn’t look anything like a girl who was taken off the street against her will.
My mind flashed back to the night before I was taken.
“Hey, bitch. What’s up?”
“What’s up with me? Well, I’m calling to see where the fuck my best friend is. I went by your place a couple times and you haven’t been home each time.”
“Can you keep a secret?”
She scoffed. “Girl, who are you talking to. Of course I can.”
“I’m up at the cottage. I… I met someone, and I decided to do a bit of a getaway.”
“Oh my god! Tell me everything!”
I spent a couple minutes telling her about Austin without going into too much detail. Still, I found myself smiling uncontrollably. She was gasping, digging for more, asking when she could meet him. I’d tried to avoid but Amber was a persistent person.
“I’ll be back Sunday night. I promise we can go out then, okay?”
“Will you bring him? I want to meet this man that got you over Avalanche.”
I laughed, if only she knew. “Not yet. Soon.”
“Oh come on,” she whined.
I looked up to find Austin standing in the door way with three giant bowls of popcorn, chips, and chocolates. God, I fucking loved this man.
“I have to go. Sunday night, I promise.”
“Is he there? Send me a picture, I need to know if he’s as pretty as Avalanche.”
I sighed. “Bye, Amber.”
She read the look of betrayal on my face immediately. She sighed, the act vanished just like that.
“You always were too smart for your own good. I tried to tell Chris it wouldn’t work, but he never listens to me.”
“It might have worked, if you let me rough you up a bit,” Shitface said from the door. “Tell me, Violet, would you have put the pieces together if she had committed to the role a little more?”
I dropped my eyes to my hands. I wasn’t going to give them anything else. I was going to bury myself deep in my mind and disassociate like I always did when they questioned me.
They would never break me.
He would never break me.
They didn’t bother with the torture today—at least the mental kind.
The witch said if they pushed me any harder without a break, there was a really good chance they could shatter my brain.
Amber—fucking traitorous bitch—graciously argued that that was the point.
Shit Stain told her to shut her mouth, he wanted a functioning wife, not a vegetable.
But he still let her waterboard me for an hour before I was brought back here.
He was going to regret that.
They sent my usual doctor to double check the bandages on my back from the whipping they’d given me a couple weeks ago.
She was surprised to report that I was healing really well.
There was no sign of infection and there was no blood on the bandages.
She kept prattling on and on about how impressive the medical team was.
“It might not even scar. Isn’t that wonderful?”
Lucky for me, she was a fucking idiot.
She left after telling me to rest. Wow, that’s really great advice. Thank you so much.
Niko came out of hiding the second the door shut.
It was our routine now. He’d talk to me, taking a different form every time, and I would listen, nodding along so he knew I was paying attention.
Sometimes he would give me an update, whatever new information he managed to come across.
Mostly he just tried to make me laugh. These days he was lucky to get a smile out of me.
I was spending too much time locked in my own mind. Watching everything play out like it wasn’t happening to me. Like I was just a girl in a movie theatre, watching helplessly as the main character was torn apart on screen.
I was worried that if I didn’t escape the mountain soon, I might get trapped in my own mind permanently.
Are you okay?
I blinked once. Yes.
What can I do?
I shook my head. Nothing.
He shifted into the form of a king shepherd and curled up next to me. I ran my hand over him absentmindedly. I knew he wasn’t a real dog, he didn’t feel like a real dog, but he was warm and that was all it took to pretend. Plus, having a little piece of Austin helped centre me.
When was the last time I even smiled?
Last week, maybe?
Yes, that sounded right. When one of the guards tried to rape me, and I bit off his finger.
Him and his partner walked me all the way to the bed, and he twirled my hair around his finger. I was working my consciousness forward—it was a particularly bad mental session, and I’d had to hide farther away.
“What the fuck are you doing? Boss said not to touch her,” the partner said.
“How the fuck would he find out? She’s basically comatose. She’s not going to tell him.” He looked at me. “Isn’t that right, beautiful?”
I continued staring straight ahead and he grinned.
“See? I can do whatever I want. She won’t even fight me.”
“Come on man, that’s not right.”
The first guy moved his finger from my hair, across my cheek, and over my mouth. “Relax, just stand outside, I’ll be quick.”
“No, dude, quit fucking around. I’m not getting killed for you.”
He rolled his eyes, pulling my bottom lip down.
“Come on, you can’t tell me her mouth isn’t a little bit tempting.” He pressed his thumb against my teeth and I let my mouth fall open. “Look, she wants it. Come on just—”
You know how people always say you can bite off a finger as easily as you bite into a carrot, but you don’t because your brain tells you not to? Well, I managed to override that programming and bit down as hard as I could.
I’ll never forget the shriek he let out when the bone snapped. Or the horror on his face when I looked at him and smiled. His blood stained my teeth and dripped down my chin. I imagine I looked manic, considering it was the first time I’d felt alive in weeks.
His partner dragged him out of my cell, still screaming. He hadn’t been back since. Maybe he was healing, or maybe his partner ratted him out and Fucker Shit had him killed.
If it was the latter, he better count his blessings. If it was the former, when I got out of this cell I’d make the torture I’d endured here look like child’s play.
Niko nudged my arm, pulling me back into the present.
I didn’t know a shadow could look worried, but his dog form definitely did.
I was still sitting up, staring off at the wall.
He nudged me again, trying to get me to lay down.
He wanted me to sleep so that he could go scouting again.
I nodded, shifting to my side so I could cuddle with him as I tried to fall asleep.
The last thing I remembered before sleep swallowed me whole, was the scent of whisky, ice, and cinnamon. I hoped that was a sign that tomorrow would be a better day.
After all, it smelt like coming home.