4. Chapter Four
Chapter Four
Lana
The threat is clear: I need to marry Nikolai or he’ll try hurting my family again.
“Just marry her to the man,” Mother mutters, pressing a cold towel to her head. Her hurt leg is propped up on the coffee table, which is a first. She always scolded me and my sisters for putting our feet on the coffee table when we were younger.
Adriana was sent to her room, so it’s just me and my parents. In this moment, I wish I had Elena with me but she’s still resting at the hospital. She doesn’t know anything.
“I will not let that man walk all over me,” Father growls, pacing around the living room. I remain in the corner with my head held high. Do not break. Never crack.
“He tried to kill us yesterday. It’s a miracle I was let out of the hospital today.
It’s a miracle any one of us survived. The attack was clear: do what he wants.
But he could have done worse to us if he wanted to.
I don’t want to die. I don’t want my daughters to die.
So just agree to a marriage between Lana and him.
And make peace.” Only my mother is the one who can speak to my father this way.
After the time he hit her, he only ever showed her respect.
I wonder what conversation they had to make him change his ways towards her.
“I will decide on my own terms,” Father snaps.
“Nikolai has already made the decision for you,” I snap back. “Elena could have died. I will not let her die so if marrying Nikolai is what it takes, I will do it.” And honestly, I wouldn’t be angry about leaving my parents behind. Their oppressive nature gets to be too much sometimes.
I also can’t help but remember what Nikolai said. How a life of experience could help my dancing. I want to be the best. I have to be the best.
Father sighs. “It’s unfortunate what happened to Elena but it could have been worse. I will handle Nikolai.”
“You will bury us as a family,” I say. “He’s another mafia man and I was always taught not to mess with mafia men. So why are you doing that now?”
“Because I am Gregory Karetov. I am a mafia man and I will be respected. Not toyed with by someone younger than me.”
“Don’t you want what’s best for our girls?
” Mother cuts in. “Marrying Lana to a respectable mafia man like Nikolai Smirnoff would only elevate our standing in life. Do it, Gregory. Before one of my daughters gets killed.” Mother may be critical of us girls but it’s clear she loves us.
I can’t always say the same about my father.
“Fine,” he grumbles. “I will agree to make peace with him. But I get to choose when the wedding happens.” He storms out of the room. I can hear the door to his office slam shut.
My eyes flick down to the box on the coffee table with the wedding dress in it. The wedding dress that Nikolai wants me to wear.
“It’s settled,” Mother says. “You will be married to Nikolai Smirnoff.”
“Have you met him before, Mother?”
“Once. At a party years ago your father was hosting. You were just a teenager then. Nikolai was in his twenties, I believe. But even then I could sense the power he exuded. I knew he’d go far in the Bratva. But I also could sense the danger in him.”
I remember how he punched my attacker. The anger in his eyes. The violence in his hands.
I shudder. Will he hurt me like that? But then again, would Nikolai have saved me the way he did if he wanted to hurt me?
“How do you feel about me marrying him?” I ask.
Mother stares back at me for a long moment, an unreadable expression in her eyes. “I feel like I’m going to lose you. But it’s also hard to lose someone you’re not close to.”
I flinch.
“Camille told me that she’ll be announcing who gets the lead role in Swan Lake tomorrow. So be on time. I hope for your sake you get the role. Your father will be more disappointed in you if you don’t.”
“How can I even think about ballet when my entire life is going to change the moment I’m married to Nikolai?”
“You will still do ballet. I’ll insist on it.
And you will get that lead role and make this family proud.
And you will marry Nikolai and make this family proud.
Everything you do is for this family, Lana.
Never forget it.” She sighs, her eyes raking over my body.
“And stand up straighter. I don’t like how you’re slouching right now. ”
I make my spine ramrod straight until I feel a pain right between my shoulder blades. But I’m used to pain. When you’re a ballerina, pain becomes a friend.
What sort of pain will I experience being married to Nikolai?
The sight of Elena in the hospital bed hits me. I think I already have an answer to my question.
The girls all surround Camille as she enters the dance studio, carrying a clipboard. On it is the piece of paper with the cast announcements.
“Girls, settle down,” Camille says. “And step back.” Everyone listens to her and she tapes the paper to the wall. The moment she steps out of the way, it’s a mad rush to look at who got what part.
“Oh my god,” Maria murmurs. “Oh my god! I got the part. I got the part!”
I rush to the front of the group to look. Maria is Odette and Odile. The white and black swan. Who am I playing? Who am I…?
My eyes fall down, down, down the page until I see my name. Part of the corps de ballet again. Another background dancer. The shame of seeing my name there hits me hard. Both my parents will look at me with disgust this evening when I return to tell them. If Camille hasn’t already told them.
I stumble back, clutching my best.
Ana gives me a smug smile. “Didn’t get the lead, did you? And I’m the understudy for Odette and Odile. So you won’t even get the chance to play either character. Must suck for you.”
Without even thinking about it, I rush over to Camille. “Why didn’t I get the lead?”
“Lana,” she says with a wary look.
“Why didn’t I get the lead?”
She sighs. “Like I told you: you don’t dance with enough passion. I watched your performance of Giselle the other night. I… I received a lot of complaints about you. How you weren’t as good as Claudia.”
“Complaints? From who?”
“Theater goers. A lot of them didn’t think you should have played the part. I realized it was a mistake making you the understudy. You’re not ready for such a demanding role. I have to do what’s best for the company. Not what’s best for you, no matter who your father is.”
“But my father doesn’t pay you to make me the lead. That shouldn’t matter. I should be able to get it on my own talent.”
Camille shrugs. “Then this is on you. You just weren’t good enough, I’m afraid. But you can try to audition again for next season’s ballet.” She pats my arm. “Good luck.”
I can hear the other girls snicker behind me, all laughing at my downfall.
But I can’t show that I’m upset so I have no choice but to go through with dance practice surrounded by all the other girls. I keep my head up and my eyes open. Not even Ana laughing at me can make me break.
The moment dance practice is over, I hurry outside, searching for Ivan, only to be reminded that he’s dead. He didn’t survive the car accident.
The car accident Nikolai created.
Before I can stop myself, I bend over and vomit.
“Ew,” Ana says, walking past with Maria and Ekaterina. “If you’re going to purge, do it in the bathroom like the rest of us civilized women.” They all share a laugh as they walk past, though I do see Ekaterina roll her eyes at Ana.
I remain bent over, catching my breath. My mouth tastes of vomit.
Feet enter into my line of sight. Looking up, I see Nikolai standing before me.
“You threw up,” he comments. “Are you feeling all right?”
I quickly wipe my mouth and turn away from him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m keeping an eye on you until we’re married. Your father called me last night and said that the wedding is on. Set for the end of this month.”
“So soon?”
He tilts his head to the side. “He didn’t tell you?”
“My father likes to do things his own way. So… no. He didn’t tell me.”
“You’ll be my wife at the end of the month. I’ll plan the wedding. I want it to be exactly how I want.”
“Do I not get a say in my own wedding?”
He takes a step closer to me. “Is there something you want for the wedding? Tell me and I’ll make it happen. I don’t offer this to many people. You’re special, Lana.”
His words make a flush creep over my neck. The way his intense eyes take me in… it’s all too much. I’m either going to drown in this man or be consumed by him. Either way, I’m not sure I’m making it out alive.
“I… I’d like to pick out my own dress, at least. That’s the one thing I want.”
“All right. You can pick out your own dress. I’m excited to see what you choose. Maybe you’ll surprise me.”
“Are you not the kind of man who surprises easily?”
His eyes darken. “I think you already know the answer to your question.”
“You have everything under control. You handle things. Like you handled Claudia’s death.”
The only reaction he gives is a quirk of his lips. “I told you: I didn’t kill the girl. Your father told me that the announcement over who got what role for your upcoming ballet was today. It’s why I came. I wanted to know what part you got.”
I can feel eyes on me. A glance to the side shows Ana, Maria, and Ekaterina watching me and Nikolai. They’re all huddled around Maria’s car.
I want to lie and tell Nikolai that I got the lead but I don’t think lying to a man like him would end well.
Ana looks between me and Nikolai with a frown before she comes storming over. “Is she boring you?” she asks Nikolai, batting her eyelashes. “Because I’m much more interesting.”
Nikolai gives Ana an amused look. “Lana is not boring me. I’m not sure why you’d even ask that.”
“Because she’s the most boring girl in our company. It’s why she’s always regulated to the back. She’s not good enough.”
“The back?”
“She couldn’t even get the lead role in Swan Lake. How pathetic is that?”
I turn to Ana. “You didn’t get the lead role either.”
She tries to stand up taller but fails. “But I am the understudy so it’s still close. Closer than you.”