Chapter Five
Violet
I pass Cash on my way up the steps. His big, strong shoulder brushing against mine as he reaches for Cora, who’s hopping up and down, screaming his name.
“Dad! Dad! Dad! I don’t want to go to bed! I want to stay awake forever and see if the stars really shine all night long. Do you think they shine all night long, or do you think they conserve energy when all the people go to sleep?”
He lifts her up into his arms, his massive biceps flexing the whole time. “I think they’re on all night long, bug. How about we pick a day next week to lie there until the sun comes up?”
Cora rubs her eyes and lies her head on his shoulder. “Okay. Jake and Ms. V too?”
“Of course,” he says, winking at me. “Jake and Ms. V too.”
My heart has been doing somersaults all night. Between the care Cash showed bandaging me up and the way dinner went, I know for sure I’m far too emotionally invested.
I’m not supposed to like kids. They’re messy and unpredictable.
They’re wild and dirty. Yet, here I am, excited to lie out under the stars next week, excited to teach Cora every recipe I know, excited to take Jake fishing again so I can watch the light in his eyes brighten as he watches a trout swim away.
Now, all I need is the big, strong, handsome man to crawl into bed with every night.
That’s the part where I know I’m dreaming. The part where I have to stay dreaming. It doesn’t matter what I feel. Cash is my father’s best friend, and he’s most certainly off limits.
As Cash takes the kids to their rooms, I lay back on my bed and stare up at the ceiling, watching the fan spin in slow circles, every blade chasing the next into oblivion.
How am I ever going to stop thinking about this man?
How am I ever going to stop wanting his big, massive frame holding me close?
His rough, rugged voice low in my ear? His big, calloused hands all over my skin?
My clit throbs and my stomach fills with butterflies at the thought of him crawling into bed next to me.
No! I can’t go there!
I reach for my phone and dial Bella’s number. She’s not the best person to call to get some sense talked into me, but I know she’ll be awake, and apparently, that’s how low my threshold is tonight.
“Umm… why are you calling me instead of riding the cowboy?”
“He’s not a cowboy, and there are a million reasons I can’t have him, so,” I blow out a breath, “what are you up to?”
“Oh no! You’re not okay.” There’s a smile in her voice as she asks, “What happened? Did things get serious?”
“No. He just cleaned my cut, we had dinner, and now he’s putting the kids to bed.”
“And you’re thinking about all the things you wish he were doing to you.”
I consider lying, but she knows I like him, and I’ve already gone through the trouble of calling her. “What’s wrong with me? I know what’s at stake, and I don’t even think he wants me like that. I just…”
“What?” she presses.
“I’m like a little rabbit, pumped up on Viagra. Do women even use Viagra?”
She crunches into a chip. “Maybe get yourself off. I know you own like forty-two vibrators.”
“I own three vibrators, and they all have different purposes.”
“Oh yeah?” she laughs. “What are those purposes?”
“My God.” I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest, still watching the fan spin. “Anyway… how are things with you? I know you were pretty worried about selling your grandparents’ lake house.”
“Oh no, you’re not getting off that easy. Have you checked your emails today, ‘cause I have.”
“You have got to stop logging into my account.”
“You have to remember to log out when you’re using my computer.”
I pull up my email as we talk, my stomach in knots. “You don’t have to go through my messages.”
“I don’t go through your messages,” she huffs playfully. “I happen upon them. Are you there yet?”
“Clicking now,” I say, noticing right away the message is from the insurance company in Dallas I’d applied to last month. “I thought they’d forgotten about me at this point.”
“Told you. It just takes a while for people to get back these days.”
I skim the message, my heart stopping when I read the very first line.
‘We’re pleased to invite you into the Blue Matrix team of risk analysts.’
The message goes on, but I click out of the email and exhale loudly.
“What’s wrong?” Bella presses. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just wasn’t expecting that.”
“Maybe this is the answer you’ve been looking for?”
“What’s that?”
“Well, clearly you don’t want to leave your current position.”
I drag in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “No, you’re right. I need to play with my vibrator, release some of this energy, and make a real-life, grown-up decision that doesn’t involve a fantasy world.”
“That’s boring,” Bella huffs, taking another bite of what I assume is a chip. “I say you wait until the kids are asleep, sneak into the giant’s room naked, tell him about this job, and see what he does to keep you.”
“I mean, that would be pretty straightforward.”
“Exactly.”
“So maybe you do that with this construction guy.”
“No, no, no. See… you’ve got it all wrong. The difference here is that I can tell Cash actually likes you. The construction dude doesn’t even know I exist.”
“Well, technically he knows you exist.”
“Technically,” she repeats, crunching away. I can tell she’s going to avoid the topic of her own issues again.
I love Bella. She’s by far the sweetest, most sensitive friend I have, but that girl has the hardest shell of any human I’ve ever met. Granted, she’s got reasons. “Anyway,” she deflects brightly, “go do all the things I told you to do and report back in the morning with your results. Love you!”
“Love you more.” I hang up the line, click off the lamp by the bed, and set the phone on the nightstand.
There’s no way in hell I’m going to show up in his bedroom naked, though the fantasy of it all sends me straight back to the bedside table for my pink vibrator. It’s the strongest one I have, and though she can be a little noisy, I’m thinking I’ve earned it tonight.
I turn music on with my phone to muffle the noise of the vibration as I lift my panties and sink the thick vibrating head against my already sopping clit, trying to relax my body.
My intentions are to think of some random stranger touching me.
Some faceless man with big arms, solid shoulders, streaks of dark ink, and a burly, salty beard.
However, despite my best efforts, the faceless man turns to Cash quickly.
At first, I can feel his rough hands sliding up my frame.
Then, I can hear his rumbling voice dragging low in my ear.
It doesn’t take long before I see his dark eyes on mine, and I imagine what he’d feel like pressing inside of me, his cock thick and hot.
My nipples spear as I work my clit, imagining his massive frame crashing into me, one solid thump after the next.
Yes, dear God, that’s all I want. His big, masculine body slapping into me over and over again. His come left inside of me, in my throat, on my skin.
A moan escapes, and with it, a creak of the bedroom door follows.
“Hello?” I manage, flicking off the vibrator. “Is someone there?”
Silence ensues for at least a minute, so I figure I’m imagining things and go back to my thrumming clit, pressing the vibrator in even harder.
A moment later, I hear the creak again, and this time, I go full stop and sit up from the bed.
“Who’s there?”
Cash clears his throat, and my heart stops.
How long has he been standing there?
He pushes open the door, the dim hallway light catching on the hard lines of his shoulders as he stands in the doorway.
Neither of us speak, though I’m pretty sure I can hear his heart beating from across the room, but maybe that’s my own.
What the hell do I say? He was most definitely watching me, which means he most definitely is interested, right? It’s that, or the years of loneliness have turned him to desperation.
I’m not sure I care which it is at this point.
My gaze drops to his cock that’s pressing against his sweatpants.
I’m going to die! I’m going to die right here and now if I don’t turn that vibrator back on and finish myself off!
“I’m…” I pause unsure of what to say. “You—”
“Why’d you stop?” His dark gaze lifts to mine, and my breath catches.
“Go on, show me how you touch yourself.”
My stomach flips and my heart gallops, my mind racing in two directions at once.
Is this really happening?
This is wrong! I should stop!
My body, though, tells me to keep moving, to obey his commands, to put on a show.
It’s then that a girl I don’t know takes over. She pulls off the blanket, spreads her legs to the sides, and lands the vibrator flat on her open pussy like a little slut who lives for come.
Right now, nothing has ever been more true.
Cash steps forward, a low growl in his throat as he walks closer, his hand brushing over his hard cock. “Jesus Christ, I’m going to hell.”
I whimper and push the wand in circles over my clit as I watch him take me in. “How often do you do this, princess? Do you come back here at night and touch yourself a lot?” His rough hand hovers over my thigh, not yet touching me.
I hum in response, my core already tensing as his gaze goes wild.
“What do you think about when you touch yourself like this? Do you think about that guy from the beach?” His voice cracks as he says, “You shouldn’t. I don’t like that boy, princess. I don’t want you thinking about him ever again.”
Princess. I swear if he calls me princess one more time, I’m going to lose it.
“No.” I swallow hard as he stares down at me, studying my folds like they’re fine literature. “I was thinking about you.”
He growls low as his hot hand lands against the deepest, thickest parts of my thigh.
“Good girl. Now tell me what you think about.” He brushes the tips of his rough fingers along my thigh as he waits, nearly touching my pussy with each swipe.
“I think about misbehaving,” I manage, my hips rocking into his touch until his fingertips slide onto my seam.
“Fuck,” he growls low. “Tell me how you misbehave. Do you slide this little virgin pussy onto my cock? Do you let me spread you wide, fill you up, mark your perfect, little body so everyone knows where you belong?” His heavy frame lifts on top of mine as he slides his fingers behind the vibrator and into my sopping wet hole with an exasperated sigh.
“Jesus, you’re tight.”
Eagerness rolls inside of me as my dad’s best friend fingers my little pussy with expert precision.
“I need to come!”
“Keep moaning like that and we’ll both come.”
“Do it!” I pant. “I need to see your cock! I need to feel it!”
He brushes his free hand against the outside of my thigh as he thrusts his fingers into me harder and faster. “You have no fucking clue, princess.”
There it is again. Princess. He definitely called me princess earlier.
His eyes are locked on mine, and his breathing changes to something deeper, as his jaw works itself tighter. He’s trying to restrain himself. He’s trying to hold back.
I lift my hips and grind against the bulge in his pants, coaxing the wild out of him.
Hard and heavy, his lips part over mine, and with a long, feral growl, he kisses me like a match has been lit, like a volcano that’s about to erupt.
“You’re my filthy little princess, aren’t you?”
I pant and whine as I lift my hips again, grinding against his touch. “I need it! Please fuck me!”
He kisses me harder, his teeth scraping against my bottom lip. “Stop giving me permission to disrespect you.” He leans into the lobe of my ear as he thrusts his thick fingers deeper. “You wouldn’t like all the ways I’d disrespect your body.”
My thighs clench, my stomach tightens, my eyes roll back, and I come… hard!
“That’s right, princess. Come all over my hand. Let me have it.” His voice is so low that I feel it vibrating through me as I convulse and twist beneath his heavy frame.
I’ve barely come down from the high when he pulls his fingers from inside of me and licks them clean with the hungry groan of a man that’s losing his mind.
“Christ, you taste good.” He leans in and growls against my lips as he kisses me slowly, my wrist pinned against the mattress.
My breasts ache, and though I’ve just released, my pussy is greedy for more.
Cash kisses his way down my chest and onto each nipple, sucking up with a pressure that drives a new beat between my legs.
“I didn’t know I was letting such a danger into the house,” he groans, kissing my stomach before standing from the bed, his cock still erect.
“At least let me suck you off.”
He shakes his head and steps forward, his index finger under my chin as he draws my gaze up to his.
“You have no idea how badly I want to feel that tight, warm pussy and fill that pretty little mouth of yours with come, but,” he growls and readjusts his full, hard cock as though he’s struggling to say no, “just lay with me.”
He doesn’t wait for my response. He climbs into bed and pulls me onto his chest, like it’s natural, like I’m where I belong.
How is this happening? I lay my head against his chest and catch my breath as I try not to let all this go to my head.
It’s nothing. It’s one moment of weakness. It’s not a ticket to a wedding by the lake or a baby in a carriage.
I close my eyes and breathe in his masculine scent. Pine, cedar, some other kind of deep, woodsy smell that makes me feel safe.
“We shouldn’t cuddle like this for long,” I whisper, nearly asleep. “The kids—”
“Ten minutes,” he says, sleepily stroking my lower back. “Ten minutes and I’ll go back to my room.”
“Ten minutes,” I repeat, my eyelids heavier and heavier, until finally, I’m asleep in the arms of a man I shouldn’t be sleeping with.