Chapter 32 Sweet Numbness
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sweet Numbness
NORA
My eyes flutter open, and I squint to see through the blinding darkness.
Candles flicker all around the large room, but the black flames hold such a small amount of light within their center that all I see are swaying shadows.
It’s like the black flames are holding the light within them hostage, refusing to let it shine.
Darkness devours it. Sitting upright, the velvety sheets are warm beneath my fingertips as I quickly throw off the covers and try to stand, but there’s a heaviness weighing me down.
Reaching over my shoulder, my fingertips brush against smooth feathers and thick cartilage, and I gasp. I’m a celestial. No. Something more.
I stand and the hardwood floor groans beneath my bare feet, the chill in the air biting at my skin, and though normally I would curl into myself or shiver from the cold, I don’t mind it.
Do immortals not feel things the way humans do?
I never thought to ask. Here it’s like all my senses are on the verge of numbness, even fear in this moment feels far away.
I’m not scared. Right now, the only thing that matters is figuring out if I am in fact in The Underworld, which judging by the darkness that has seemed to swallow me whole, I’m pretty damn sure that I am.
I died. This is what I wanted. Now I need to figure out how the hell to get to Nyx.
My wings cast a beautiful shadow on the wall as I spread them wide and stare in awe.
Gods, shadows really are all that exist here.
There’s a shadow of a bed, a shadow of a bathroom on the opposite side of the room, and a shadow of a door that I assume leads out of this huge room that’s nearly the size of my entire house.
I carefully tiptoe across the room to make my way to the door.
I need to see what’s out there, but I also need to be careful not to let them see me before I want them to.
It could be Nyx or more of her demons on the other side of that door.
They could be waiting for me to wake up to begin torturing me all over again.
Although fear doesn’t course through my veins the way it probably should, my heart does beat faster and louder than I’d like it to. Fuck, they’re going to hear it.
A shadow moves in my peripheral vision, and I freeze. “Hello?” I call out, peering into the darkness.
Why the hell are there no lights? What I wouldn’t give for the hellscape of orange flames humans picture when thinking of this place to be real right now. I just need even one bright flame. The black ones aren’t enough.
“Nora,” A gentle, low murmur comes from behind me, and I slowly turn around to face the voice. “Please do not panic,” the comforting timbre in his voice soothes my anxious mind.
A candle moves closer and closer as if floating on air, but around the dim flickering flame is the shadow of someone stepping toward me.
I’m not afraid. Fear will not rule me. First, large wings come into focus, followed by muscular arms and then eyes the color of molten gold.
I take two steps back, gasping in shock as the curved black horns demand my attention.
“What are you?” My whispered words aren’t really a question.
From the look of the horns and leathery wings, I have my answer already. It’s a demon. It has to be. Except this face doesn’t look at all like Nyx’s demons who murdered me. This face is familiar and kind and so… beautiful. This face is one I know all too well.
“Ere, what the fuck are you? Why are you here and why do you look like this?” I take another step back. “Did she do this to you?”
“It’s okay. I would never hurt you. Please do not be afraid.” He brings the candle closer to his face, his gaze calm as he backs away, giving me space.
“Answer my questions,” I spit, anger boiling in my chest.
I don’t step back this time. I prowl toward him, fists clenched at my sides as fire flickers in my peripheral vision. I can’t trust him if he’s a demon. If he belongs to her then he should die like the others.
He takes two more steps back. “I will explain everything, I promise. But I need you to stay calm.”
“Tell me why you’re here and why you look like one of her demons!” It’s no longer a question.
Heat surges in my palms and snakes up my arms, flaring within and around my new, heavy wings. My light glows brighter and hotter, nearly devouring the darkness in the room. He’s a liar. How long has he been lying to me, and how can I possibly believe anything he says now knowing this?
He sighs, lowering the candle, his eyes pained and gentle as he watches me, slowly taking another step away from the power sparking and shimmering around me.
“The Underworld is my home, Nora. It has been for quite some time. We have much to discuss. Why don’t we calm down and sit for a moment? ” He gestures to the bed.
After all the times we’ve spent in bed together, and seeing him here as this thing, I can’t stand the thought of sitting on a bed with him or even being in the same room as him.
He lied to me for over six months. Pretended to be mortal and na?ve about the things lurking within darkness, even pushed me to accept the darkness that haunted my thoughts. Why? Why would he do any of it?
“No. I won’t sit here with you, demon. Tell me where Nyx is. Did she send you to kill me for good this time?” I open my palms, the heat there urging me to fight, to use whatever magic I can to put an end to his lies and save myself.
Glancing at my magic, really noticing it for the first time, my eyes widen at the sight of the purple and blue swirls of fire dancing in my palms that grows hotter and angrier by the second.
I considered running out the door a moment ago, but if I am who everyone says I am, the divine one with power like no other, then maybe I can still burn him alive even without memories of how to use it.
Raising my hands, I face my palms toward the man or demon or illusion in front of me, smiling as fear briefly flashes behind those golden eyes.
A charming, slow smile flickers across his lips. He tilts his head and gazes into my flames. “Your power is both delightful and terrifying.”
I huff a laugh, shaking my head. “I hope you find it just as delightful as it burns you to ash.”
His smile vanishes and his eyes now glow like crimson death as tendrils of shadows appear behind his back, stretching and reaching out for me.
They wrap around me and caress my body and my mind in a way that brings back the numbness and freedom that enveloped me as I died.
The numbness I felt all those times we were together before when I thought I was healing or letting the pain go or learning to be strong and fight the pain of grief and loss that consumed me.
It was always his power numbing me and pushing away the pain, wasn’t it?
It was always him. He’s a liar. He never cared about me.
He never wanted me to actually heal, he only wanted to control my feelings.
“Nora, I know you are angry. I know you have been through more pain and grief and confusion in the past year than ever before, but you are not angry with me. You are angry with her. So am I.” His shadows swirl along my arms, and anger races through me, my body trembling and my breathing too fast. The skin where his shadows touch me become bright rageful flames, sending his shadows slithering away as the flames burn hotter.
Smiling, I focus on his chest, the spot where his lying, deceiving heart still beats.
His shadows form a wall of protection around him, devouring my flames as they reach for him.
There is no light within his power. He belongs to this realm and to Nyx.
Light cannot exist around or within him, not when he is darkness.
“You don’t know a thing about my grief or what I’ve been through. Demons don’t feel. How could you lie to me so easily? How could you pretend to care so damn easily?” My words quiver as I step toward his shadows, flames swirling around me in every direction.
The flames hurt, but his lies scorch my heart in ways fire never could. I want him to hurt. I want him to suffer the way Nyx has made me. The way he has.
Sending his shadows out around me, he snuffs out more of my light, the bright blue and purple of my power fading as the burn on my skin subsides.
I try to force the flames to return as his shadows engulf me in a darkness that’s nearly suffocating, but all I can manage is a flicker before his shadows wrap around me tighter, refusing to let me go.
“You must stay calm. You could easily kill me or anyone else with those flames, but how will you stand a chance against Nyx if I am dead? How will we find the amulet and get your memories back?” He steps toward me, the shadow of his horns menacingly close and the red glow of his eyes enveloping me in numbness until I can’t move or feel a thing.
“That is what you came here for, is it not? I know truth is what you want. I want that for you, too, more than anything else, Nor. Your truth shall be my salvation.”
I should have run from him. I should have made an escape while I had the chance instead of hoping to use a power against him that I can’t yet control. Now he might control me for good.
“Let me go!” I push and pull but his shadows only hold me tighter.
His face is close to mine now, and as I stare into his eyes, I feel the warmth of the man I once knew.
His jawline is sharper, the muscles along his forearms and chest more pronounced, and he towers over me in a way he hasn’t before.
He looks much different than he did on the Earth Realm, but as we stand and stare at each other just inches away, I feel him.