Chapter 33 Shadows and Fairytales #2
I’m scared of what’s out there, and even with an army of celestials keeping watch, I feel better having Ere with me.
I’m beginning to trust him again a little more every day.
More than trust him, actually, I’m beginning to feel that Ere would protect me with his life.
The way he looks at me is like he’d rather die than ever lose me again, and even though Kairos looked at me the same way, Ere doesn’t treat me like I’m fragile or incapable of protecting myself.
He treats me like I’m capable of anything.
We stroll down a stone path, the darkness of the sky swallowing the black, rocky mountain peaks into nothing.
I can hear the River Styx, the black water that flows in front of those mountains, the one Ere has shown me through the windows upstairs, but I can’t see it from here.
I smile, listening to the sounds of the sacred body of water echoing against the elements and floating through the surrounding skeletal, charred forest back to us.
It’s beautiful. All of it. The whispering of the river and the deathly silence of everything else.
The way the trees and mountains hover and yet shrink away to the outskirts of the realm, as if afraid to take up too much space here.
Black flame torches line our path and surround a large yard closed in by pointy metal fencing with dark vines climbing up each post, as if even greenery here was consumed and spat out by darkness.
The scorched, black earth crumbles under my feet as we walk to the center of his yard and he releases my hand, taking several steps back.
He’s afraid of my power, he told me, which doesn’t offer comfort while I’m learning.
I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him because of me not remembering how to use my magic.
“We’re safe here?” Glancing around, there’s nothing but shadows and darkness for miles, it seems, even with all the torches surrounding us.
There are no stars or a moon here in The Underworld. Only darkness exists. I would be terrified and running in fear if it weren’t for Ere’s comforting eyes never leaving mine. Those glowing golden orbs keep me calm and steady. They’re the only light I need right now.
“The army has been guarding my section of the realm day and night since I brought you here. They’ll warn me if any demons or rageful queens get anywhere near us.
” He offers me a teasing smile. “You are safe. I promise.” He nods, and I take that as my cue to start practicing, though I don’t actually know where to begin.
I raise my hands, staring into my palms and trying to will them to burn, but only a flicker of blue and purple light dances across them before quickly fading away. “Damnit.”
“Concentrate, my little flame,” he sighs quietly as he steps up behind me, cupping his hands around mine and facing my palms out toward the inky darkness of the river and the mountains and trees.
I breathe in deep, letting his power calm my mind as I lean back against his chest, the sound of the river flowing in the distance a reminder of the peace I used to feel at the lake back home.
“Understanding how to wield your power could be a matter of life or death for yourself or someone you love.” The muscles in his chest tense, his body pressed against me and my wings suddenly feeling in the way as I crave leaning further into his soothing shadows and his calming voice.
“I’m trying, Ere,” I whisper.
“Close your eyes,” he murmurs against my ear, so I do.
“Now, focus on only our breathing. On only our hearts beating as one. Clear your thoughts. What is the thing you want more than anything? Focus on that. Focus on what you need to do in order to have that.” He places his hands on my hips, and the reassuring touch sends comforting shivers of hope down my spine.
Freedom. It’s the only thing I want in this moment, and what I’ve been wanting more than anything for the past year, and possibly even in a past life that I can’t remember.
I focus on only Nyx and my hatred for her, pushing away thoughts of his body and his touch and his silky power wrapped around me.
I step forward and he pulls his shadows away, tightly tucking them back within himself and giving me free reign to feel and let the anger and hatred that burns for her in my heart ignite.
As heat engulfs me, I step further away from Ere, focusing only on all the pain and agony and death Nyx has brought into my life.
Bright flames swirl around my entire body, the fire vengeful and angry and cruel.
I smile as I place my palms out and focus on the already lifeless vines wrapped around the fence in front of me.
I imagine her face there as I command my flames to stretch toward them, burning them into a pile of ash on the scorched ground.
Nyx is what motivates me to control my power.
Anger and pain help too, but it’ll be Nyx who my flames search for in the darkness when the time comes.
My power rages within, begging me to find her here now and burn her alive.
It speaks to me in a way I understand, and I speak back, urging the flames to die out and save their energy for her lying, evil face.
They listen. Slowly, the heat dissipates, the bright light fades, and my flames disappear under my warm, slick skin.
I can control my power. Ere being here with me helped.
Him reminding me that I’ll need to fight if I want to be free, that helped, too.
The sound of his dark laughter echoes off the mountains, his thick arms wrapping me up in a tight embrace.
I laugh, locking my arms around his waist as warm, proud tears flow down my cheeks. I did it. I can do this.
“My queen,” he purrs against my forehead, placing a gentle kiss there.
I pull away, my eyes wide and my mind immediately racing. “Why did you call me that? I’m not your queen, Ere.” Backing away, I shake my head in disbelief, suddenly feeling a sense of déjà vu from my time in the Realm of Darkness.
Why the hell does everyone assume I want to be their queen? What about what I want? What about what I need, which is to first figure out who the hell I even am and who these men are to me.
“With Nyx’s death, someone must remain here to rule.
I will not be allowed to leave. The gods will not let me out of this so easily.
I am trapped whether I like it or not, but without her this realm could be so much more than it is.
” He takes my hands into his, his eyes a glowing crimson that makes me question every decision I know I must make in the future.
It’ll be him or Kairos. Him or the celestials. Him or no one else. If everything he says is true and he is my fated mate, then it’ll be only him. The celestials and witches will never accept me if I’m a part of this realm. Even Olivia might fear me.
I pull away, shaking my head as I take two steps back.
“Dragging me here without my consent doesn’t give you the right to control my decisions or dictate my way of life.
What if I don’t want to stay here with you?
What if I…” I swallow thickly, his eyes burning brighter and his wings shifting behind him as he closes the distance between us.
“What if I choose to live out my life with the celestials or decide I want to live on the Earth Realm with Olivia? I should be free to choose my own fate. No one chooses for me. I’m so damn tired of everyone treating me like I have no say in my own life. You do not own me!”
I stomp past him, heading for the torch-lit path back to his house, not wanting to look at him or speak to him any longer.
I need a break from him and the chaos and confusion of trying to decipher who’s telling the truth and who’s lying about what they are to me.
Two crowns and two men and how do I know which one is meant for me? I can’t handle it all anymore.
He follows closely behind but doesn’t speak.
As I step up to the door, he grips my shoulders, turning me to face him.
His eyes are soft, golden pools of sadness as he looks at me.
“I know I do not own you, my love.” I back away and he prowls closer, closing in on me until my wings are pressed firmly against the stark black door.
He places his palms against the doorframe, his arms caging me in as he leans down and whispers, “You own me.” The honesty in his eyes sets my heart on fire and my soul sings as if it’s been awoken from a deep sleep.
Every rational thought goes out the window as his words sink in.
He doesn’t smile or look at me as he opens the door and steps past me to go inside.
His wings brush against mine and then he’s gone, engulfed by swirling shadows.
He looks hopeless. He looks scared and hurt and my heart shatters as I consider that maybe he has lost more than I can comprehend.
Maybe he loves me more than I will ever know.
Maybe he did suffer for a century just waiting for me, haunted here in darkness and misery.
What if everything he has told me is true?
What if it was never Kairos who was meant for me and Ere really is my fated mate?
One of them waited for nothing. Both are waiting still, and it kills me to think of either of them suffering because of me.
Because I can’t remember. Because I will have to choose.
“Ere, wait. Please.” My voice is a soft plea for forgiveness and he freezes before reaching his bedroom door.
“I’m sorry. It feels like everyone wants to control me.
Nyx. Kairos and Hekate. Now you.” I sigh, running my hands through my hair and stepping into the kitchen.
“I’ve always loved how you let me choose who I want to be and how I want to live.
I don’t want that to change. I want to be me, whoever that might be once I remember. I don’t want anyone choosing for me.”