CHAPTER 1
Lena sat inside the small ship and stared mindlessly through the viewing screen into space.
There wasn’t much to see, a few flashes of light.
They were traveling too fast. It had surprised her to learn a small Raiden fighter like this one could travel in hyperspace.
But then again, Raiden technology far surpassed anything the Leviathan were capable of.
Leviathan, serpent shifters, were her people. Or they once were. She didn’t know where she belonged anymore. Ngozi had taken that from her when he stole her innocence.
“You are feeling sad again, young one,” a deep, almost hypnotic voice murmured inside her mind. “Is there anything I can do to help you, child?”
Lena sighed when Gauge called her child, though she supposed next to him, she really was one.
Gauge was a Hunter for the Laizahlian council, an ancient among their kind.
A vampire. He’d saved her friend Abby’s life when Ngozi tried to kill her.
He’d save Lena’s own life too when he stripped most of Ngozi’s essence from her body. Most, not all.
“Zephralena, are you well? Why don’t you answer?”
“I’m fine, Gauge. There’s nothing anyone can do to help me. I need to learn how to deal with Ngozi on my own.”
“Why? You aren’t alone. You have many who care about you. Why don’t you tell me what is really bothering you.”
Lena struggled not to sigh again. Keeping anything from Gauge was all but impossible. She’d managed over these past few months to learn how to erect mental shields, but she knew he could easily tear them down if he thought it necessary.
“I’m not sad, Gauge. I’m angry. I want my life back.
I want it to be mine again. I’m tired of everyone treating me as if I might break, including you.
Everyone wants to control me.” They weren’t wrong to worry, but she didn’t want to admit this to Gauge.
She didn’t want him to view her as a helpless child.
“Your family is understandably concerned about you. Have you tried to talk to your parents about what you went through with Ngozi?”
God no! she thought to herself. She could never tell them what Ngozi had done to her.
She could never tell anyone. Gauge probably knew but only because he could sift through her thoughts if she wasn’t careful.
She didn’t want her parents, her friends, to look at her with pity. Not anymore than they already did.
Which was why she’d chosen to leave Raiden with Rafa and Aaliyah.
Rafa was Prince Nicolai’s first in command, and Aaliyah was his human mate.
They were forced to flee Raiden when they helped Lena’s Uncle Seraphym and his mate Samantha escape another Raiden king.
Rafa and Aaliyah had agreed to take Lena with them.
“Perhaps pity is not the only reason,” Gauge said softly. “Perhaps there is a part of you that blames your parents for what happened.”
Lena stared out the viewing screen, watching the streams of lights rushing by.
Did she blame them? Logically, she knew she shouldn’t.
Her father, Alpha of the Cliff Dwellers Clan, insisted his family members work just as hard as everyone else in the clan, which meant foraging in the mountains when necessary for roots, berries and mushrooms, depending on the season.
Most female Leviathan couldn’t shift into a serpent, nor did they have wings to fly in their human form, which meant their males must carry them everywhere.
Her assigned male had been killed when Ngozi, the Raiden crown prince, abducted her.
The only one who should be held at fault was Ngozi, and perhaps the Raiden warriors who helped him, but maybe deep down, she still blamed her father.
“Where are you, Zephralena?” Gauge asked. “I sense you are moving at a great speed, perhaps in a ship. Are you going back to the Raiden palace to visit Abby?”
She shook her head, forgetting Gauge couldn’t see her.
“No.” Abby couldn’t help her any more than Gauge could.
She needed to face this on her own. “There were problems between the serpents and several of the Raiden Houses. It almost caused war between our two people. Even the wild Catalan serpents were drawn into it. Rafa and Aaliyah were banished after they helped Seraphym and Samantha escape.”
“You are with Rafa and his mate now?”
“Yes.” Lena frowned, sensing Gauge wasn’t pleased to learn this. “Rafa and Liyah are taking me to Liore to meet with one of their healers. They believe the healer can help me deal with my past with Ngozi.”
Help with what, though? They couldn’t give her back her innocence.
They couldn’t make her forget what Ngozi had done or give her back her once happy life.
None of her family or friends knew about the rage that simmered beneath the surface over her loss.
She kept that buried deep. They all thought she was just depressed.
“Anger can help one cope initially with an attack like you suffered, but there does come a time when you must learn to let it go. You have your whole life ahead of you, child. If you let it, the rage will eventually consume you. I have seen it happen many times over my long life.”
“Let it go, Gauge!” she yelled out loud, forgetting the conversation was taking place in her mind. “Never!” She would never let go of her rage. It was the only thing that kept her sane.
“Then you will never heal,” he said softly.
“Everything okay in here?” Aaliyah asked.
Closing her eyes for a moment, Lena turned toward the door, finding the beautiful dark-skinned female standing there, her expression worried. “Yes, Liyah. I’m sorry if I bothered you and Rafa. Just thinking out loud.”
Aaliyah was one of the most beautiful females Lena had ever seen. A human like Abby, she’d been claimed by Rafa when his shaprata swelled. She kept her long, black hair in tiny braids, decorative beads clacking softly as she walked across the room and took a seat across from Lena.
“You know, sometimes I still have to pinch myself when I look out at space,” Aaliyah said, lifting her chin toward the screen.
“I never in my wildest dreams imagined I’d be mated to an alien.
” She leaned closer to Lena, her expression turning serious.
“I never imagined myself mating anyone, to be honest. Someday I’ll tell you why .
. . when you’re ready to listen. I know you are angry, Lena.
I know what that rage can do to a person if you let it. ”
Lena nodded, not sure she wanted to hear Aaliyah’s story.
It had been hinted at a few times, but she’d always shut her down before any details were given.
Lena didn’t want to face her own past yet, and she didn’t want to hear about someone else’s either.
She wasn’t ready to let go of her rage. “I used to wonder what it would be like to travel through space, back before . . .” She trailed off, not wanting to discuss Ngozi.
Aaliyah reached out and touched her arm.
“Things will get better, Lena. It won’t happen overnight, and you won’t ever completely forget what was done to you, but you don’t have to let the bastard ruin the rest of your life.
You have people who love you. People who would do anything in their power to help you. ”
Lena returned her attention to the viewing screen, not replying. Aaliyah was wrong. Nobody knew Ngozi still haunted her dreams. How could she possibly learn to move on with her life. He would never leave her in peace.
“It is you who keeps Ngozi alive in your dreams, child. Your life will get better once you learn to let him go.”
Lena ignored Gauge too, wishing they would both go away. He was male. He could never understand the horrors she faced with the Raiden prince. Never. No male could understand what she’d been through, the helplessness she’d felt.
Taking a deep breath, Aaliyah sat back in her chair, releasing it slowly.
“Well, I should get back up front with Rafa. Yell if you need anything. He said we should get to Liore in about two weeks if nothing goes wrong.” She paused.
“We’ll be traveling past a planet called Runhura in a few days.
Maybe we should stop. Rafa said there’s a festival going on. It could be fun.”
Lena nodded, not really caring what they did.
“Okay then. I’ll let Rafa know.” Lena didn’t turn to look when Aaliyah stood and walked away.
“She is only trying to help you, child,” Gauge said.
“I know. It doesn’t matter. She can’t help me.
You can’t either. Nobody can.” She was broken, a type of broken that could never be fully fixed.
Lena fingered the slightly raised abaci on her arm, the yellow diamond pattern blending in with her own serpent scales.
An unwanted gift from Ngozi, one even Gauge couldn’t completely erase.
“I need to leave,” Gauge said. “Are you sure there is nothing I can do for you?”
“Just go, Gauge,” she snapped. “I don’t need anything, not from you or anyone else. I just want to be left alone.”
“Very well, child. You know how to reach me. We will speak again soon.”
Lena nodded, needing the big Hunter to stay, while at the same time wanting him to go. She felt an incredible sense of loss when he broke the connection, forced to fight with herself not to call him back. “I don’t need you,” she whispered. “I don’t need anyone.”