CHAPTER 18
Lena’s psyche may have been damaged by what Ngozi put her through, but she wasn’t stupid.
She knew what Gauge was trying to do. He thought he could put her mind at ease by having her join the serpents of this world.
She would play along for now, meet the serpents, but Lena had no intention of staying here.
The only safe place for her was at Gauge’s side, but she had to stop acting so clingy.
She was a Leviathan, the daughter of a powerful alpha. Time to start acting like one.
Instead of walking at Gauge’s side, Lena moved over beside his tracker. She sensed an ally in the wolf shifter.
“Did you have a nice visit with Haven?” Teo asked.
“Yes.” Lena slowed her pace, falling further behind Gauge and the alpha. Teo slowed with her, rightly suspecting she wanted to speak with him in private—if one could speak in private with a powerful vampire like Gauge nearby. He could move unnoticed inside her mind whenever he wanted.
“Teo, can I ask you something?”
“Of course. You can ask me anything, Lena.”
“What is the swelling beneath Gauge’s jaw?” She had her suspicions but wanted to hear Teo say it.
Teo didn’t immediately reply, and she began to suspect he wouldn’t, but then he said, “Lena, I would like to ask you a question before I answer. Is that okay with you?”
“Of course.”
“Do you only see Gauge as your protector, or do you have deeper feelings for him?”
She hesitated, needing to think about her answer.
“At first . . . I saw him only as a lifeline. I felt lost in the dark and his light drew me out. I clung to him whenever memories of Ngozi threatened to overwhelm me. I don’t believe I would have survived without Gauge.
But then . . .” She stopped, fluttering her hands in the air, not sure how to explain.
“But then?” Teo pushed, his tone gentle.
“Something changed when I saw him in person at the Raiden palace. I don’t know if I can explain. It was like he gifted me with a portion of his strength. I think he felt it too. Maybe he didn’t mean to do it. Maybe he’s angry with me.”
“Gauge is not angry with you, Lena. He’s confused, which is not .
. . how do I explain? A Hunter like Gauge is always in control of every portion of his life.
He has to be or he risks losing his sanity, which would put everyone around him at risk.
With you, he has no control, and I’m afraid he doesn’t know how to handle it. ”
“Handle what? I don’t understand.”
“His growing feelings for you. The swelling beneath his jaw is a developing shaprata. I believe it happened when he stripped your abaci, your essence, from Ngozi. It is my belief that Raiden DNA has manipulated Gauge’s genes.
He is still Laizahlian, but he is also Raiden now too.
If he doesn’t claim a female before his shaprata fully matures, I fear he will die. ”
“I suspected as much, but I don’t understand how this could happen,” Lena said, suddenly afraid for Gauge. “Gauge is not Raiden. He can’t die.” It felt odd not to be thinking about herself and her own damaged soul.
“How much do you understand about what happens when a Raiden warrior injects his shaprata into a female?”
“I only know that it’s supposed to make the male more attractive to the female. It helps her to accept his claim.” It didn’t work between her and Ngozi, but then Ngozi didn’t give his shaprata time to work. He’d raped her almost immediately after he stung her on his ship.
“That is a part of it, but there’s much more involved.
When a Raiden male injects his shaprata into a female, they also draw back a portion of her essence into their own body, her abaci.
The shaprata, the male’s essence, changes the female on a cellular level.
She becomes Raiden in all ways that count, which allows for procreation between their two species.
The female’s abaci is brought back to the warrior, where it manipulates his cells.
Typically, the male will find he is no longer attracted sexually to any other female. ”
“That wasn’t the case with Ngozi,” she snapped. He’d enjoyed taking other females in her presence.
“Ngozi wasn’t right in the head to begin with.
I don’t think he is capable of caring for anyone.
He didn’t hate just you, Lena. Ngozi hates everyone, including himself.
Maybe especially himself. He took his rage out on females because most are weaker than him.
It made him feel better about himself. Strong negative feelings can’t be overridden by a shaprata or an abaci. ”
“Gauge carries my abaci pattern on his body. Does this mean Gauge is my mate? Is that even possible?”
“I honestly don’t know how to answer that, Lena.
Before you, no Hunter had ever tried to strip a Raiden male of a female’s abaci.
There have been a few occasions where a female was stripped of a Raiden’s warrior’s shaprata, but the Hunter never suffered any negative effects.
He simply placed it back within the Raiden warrior.
It worked to free the female from an unwanted claim, though the male typically died.
Ngozi was a prince. If possible, his father wanted him saved, but I don’t think this was the only reason why Gauge stripped him of your abaci. ”
“Then why did he?”
“You’ll need to ask him. I can only guess.”
“Teo, if Gauge is developing a shaprata, will he die if he doesn’t claim a female?”
“I fear he will, yes.”
“This is all my fault. I trusted Ngozi. I let him convince me it would be all right to leave the safety of my clan. He killed my guard and tortured me. And now my actions have doomed Gauge too?” A part of her believed she deserved what had happened to her, but Lena knew she couldn’t live with herself if anything happened to Gauge.
Teo stopped walking, turning to face her.
“Stop this, Lena. You were young and innocent. Ngozi took advantage. Trust me on this. No one blames you for what happened, not your parents, not your guard, and especially not Gauge.” Teo closed his eyes, his posture slightly slumped as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
Taking a deep breath, he said, “Lena, I know what you went through was beyond horrible, but I also believe this could be turned into a blessing if only you would both allow it to happen. Gauge has lived for thousands of years with no hope of ever finding a mate. Until you. If you accept him, it will give him a reason to live again. He hasn’t said anything, but I know he worries you are too damaged to consider taking a mate.
He believes you need more time . . . but we both know his time is very limited. ”
“Gauge has never given me the impression he wanted more than friendship from me. I think he considers himself my guardian.” When Teo didn’t reply, she said softly, “What if I do want more?”
“Then you need to tell him. Force his hand. But first you must be sure about your feelings. Gauge will not be an easy male to live with. He is an ancient, set in his ways, and a force to be reckoned with. If I can borrow a human term, it’s usually his way or the highway.
But he is not unreasonable. If you believe Gauge might be your mate.
If this is something you would consider pursuing, then in this case, you must be the aggressor. ”
“What if Gauge is right? What if I am too damaged for someone like him?”
“Lena, the fact that you are even considering this tells me you aren’t. After what you lived through with Ngozi, you should be shaking in your boots at the thought of taking another mate, especially a dominant male like Gauge. Yet, you’re not. Why is this, do you think?”
Lena glanced down at her feet, not sure why she would be shaking in her boots. She wasn’t even wearing boots.
Teo laughed. “Forgive me. Another human term. They have thousands of them on this planet. I find them quite amusing.”
“Gauge has always made me feel safe. I would not have survived without him.”
Teo sighed. “A true mate is much more than a protector, Lena. A mate is someone you share your life with as equals. There is no person more important to a Laizahlian, with the possible exception of offspring. A mate accepts everything about you, not just the good things, but the darker parts too. We all have them. And ancient Hunters like Gauge carry more darkness than most beings. As I said before, they’ve lived for thousands of years, killing when necessary to protect the innocent, forced to bury the part of themselves that might try to show empathy.
There is no room for it when chasing down rogues . . . or damaged males like Ngozi.”
“Is Gauge afraid I won’t be able to handle the darker parts of him? Is that why he’s trying to push me away?”
Teo shrugged. “I’ve worked as a tracker for Gauge for hundreds of years, yet I don’t really have a clue what goes through his head.
Only what he wants me to know. When he’s with you, though, I see a definite difference in him.
A softer side. I believe you could be his mate, and I think he knows it.
But he will continue to try to put distance between you, believing it is for your own good.
Lena, if you think you can love Gauge, you must show him.
Don’t let him keep pushing you away.” Teo leaned over, looking her straight in the eyes.
“But if you only see Gauge as a protector, then let him go. There are others who can keep you safe.”
Lena looked away, unable to hold Teo’s intense gaze. “I do love him. He has been a part of me for years. I can’t imagine my life without him. Tell me what I need to do.”
Teo smiled. “Good. Physical touch is not something he is accustomed to. Show him affection. Make him more than just your protector, because he will use that to put distance between you. You are the daughter of a powerful alpha. You are not weak. I believe you also were gifted a portion of Gauge’s strength, as a true eillelé would.
You need to look within yourself. Find it.
Learn how to use it. As Gauge’s mate, I believe his mind will also be open to you. Be firm. Force him to let you inside.”
“But doesn’t he have to inject me with his shaprata first?”
“No. That’s not how it works with a Laizahlian.
A Laizahlian shares power with their eillelé upon their first meeting.
I believe this is what you felt when you met Gauge in the Raiden palace.
I’m sure Gauge was gifted something from you too, but he can hide his surprise better.
I don’t know if his stinging you with the shaprata will change anything, but I do know he will die if he doesn’t.
It may work to bring you closer together, as it does for a true Raiden warrior. ”
That was the only part Lena wasn’t looking forward to. She had been terrified when Ngozi claimed her. He had been rough with her, taking her innocence immediately after he stung her. So much terror. So much pain. It would ruin everything if Gauge did the same.
“He won’t, Lena. Gauge is nothing like Ngozi. He may be ruthless when necessary, but he would never abuse his power. I have never met a male with more control over his actions. He will never intentionally hurt you. I would stake my life on it.”
“Are you reading my thoughts, Teo?”
“No. But you are very expressive, Lena. I can see you’re uncertain about being stung with a shaprata. Believe me, this will be new territory for Gauge too.” Teo grew quiet, taking her elbow as he began to walk.
But it wasn’t new for her. That was the problem.
“You’ll be fine, Lena. Trust Gauge. And trust yourself. If you do that, everything will turn out as it should.”
Lena had been so caught up in the conversation with Gauge’s tracker that she didn’t notice their path had taken them to the forest of trees behind the alpha’s house. Gauge and the alpha were nowhere in sight. “Why did we come back here?” she asked.
“Privacy. I don’t trust these cats yet, especially their elders. When we leave tomorrow, don’t let Gauge convince you to remain here. I don’t want the elders to be able to use you against him. The fools don’t realize how much danger they’re already in right now.”
“Oh, I believe we do, trespasser,” came an angry male voice from the trees. “You and the female are coming with us. If she is as important to the vampire as you say, then he’ll do whatever we say, or he’ll never see her again. Or you.”
Teo smirked as the two elders from earlier stepped out into the open, one of them carrying a pistol. “Tom and Pops, if I’m not mistaken,” Teo said, not acting the slightest bit alarmed. “Do you think this wise on your part?”
“We’ll do whatever we think is necessary to get rid of you and the vampire,” Raif’s grandfather said.
“I don’t know exactly what she is, but this female doesn’t belong here either.
Whatever threat is headed our way, we’ll handle it ourselves.
That’s the way it’s always been, and that’s the way it’ll stay.
Raif will either come around to our way of thinking, or we’ll get rid of him too.
I love my grandson, but I won’t let him ruin our pack here.
Bad enough he took a filthy wolf for a mate. ”
Lena’s eyes widened at that statement, knowing Teo was also a wolf shifter.
“Move it!” Tom said, waving the gun toward the trail. “This gun has silver bullets, so don’t even think about trying to escape. You idiots have no idea who you’re messing with.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Teo said, smirking. “It’ll be fun to watch you two try to handle the tornado that will soon be headed your way. I’m afraid it’s you who has no idea who you’re messing with.”
The two elders snarled but didn’t have much to say.
“Don’t worry,” Teo murmured, placing his hand against Lena’s lower back. “Gauge will come for us. He hoped to avoid a conflict like this, but there are always some who insist upon learning the hard way.”
Oddly enough, Lena wasn’t scared. These shifters were nothing compared to a Raiden warrior.
If she could live through what Ngozi had done to her, she could live through this.
She had no doubt Gauge would come for them, but this time she wouldn’t be standing there, frozen with fear, waiting for him to rescue her.