Chapter Twenty-Two
“Again,” Willow called out.
Nova lowered the pads she was holding and gave Willow a look that clearly questioned her sanity. “You know, most people celebrate when I tell them they’re done for the day.”
Willow bent forward and rested her hands on her thighs while she tried to catch her breath. Sweat trickled down the side of her face. Her ponytail was barely hanging on, and muscles she hadn’t even known existed months ago were already threatening to make tomorrow morning miserable.
“Most people probably aren’t paying you to beat the crap out of them either.”
Nova laughed. “For the record, I have not beaten the crap out of you.”
“My ribs would like to file a formal complaint.”
“Your ribs are dramatic.”
Willow straightened and grabbed her water bottle from the bench. “I think I liked you better before I started taking lessons from you.”
“That’s what they all say.”
Willow smiled as she took a long drink, then glanced through the large interior window separating the training area from the children’s room Nova had added when she had opened the gym.
Lily was inside with two other children, happily sitting at a small table with crayons scattered everywhere while one of the childcare attendants helped another little boy build something with oversized blocks.
Lily looked happy. More importantly, she looked safe.
Willow still checked on her every few minutes anyway. Some habits weren’t going to disappear overnight.
It had been a couple of weeks since Willow had finally taken Nova up on the offer she had made that first night at Bayside.
At the time, Nova had suggested kickboxing because it was good exercise, a great stress reliever, and something Willow might enjoy.
Willow had joked that after all the meals she had been cooking for Jay Bird, she probably needed the exercise.
The real reason she had come back had very little to do with calories. Willow wanted to learn how to protect herself.
She wasn’t foolish enough to believe a few kickboxing and self-defense lessons would suddenly make her capable of taking down a man twice her size, and Nova had been very clear from the beginning that wasn’t what she was teaching her.
The goal was to create space, recognize opportunities, and learn how to react when someone else had the advantage.
Sometimes survival wasn’t about winning a fight. It was about getting away. That was something Willow understood better than most.
Jay Bird supported the lessons completely. He had even offered to practice with her at home until Willow had informed him that practicing self-defense with a Navy SEAL seemed a little unfair.
He had smirked and told her he had let her win. She had threatened to kick him somewhere particularly sensitive. He had withdrawn the offer.
This afternoon, however, Jay Bird wasn’t home.
Bear had texted him earlier about meeting some of the guys at Bayside, and Willow had practically pushed him out the door.
He spent so much of his free time with her and Lily that she had begun to worry he was neglecting his friends because he felt obligated to stay close to them.
Jay Bird had informed her that spending time with them wasn’t an obligation.
She had kissed his cheek and told him to go anyway.
Now, standing in the middle of Nova’s gym with every muscle in her body screaming, Willow was beginning to regret not going to Bayside with him.
Nova tossed her a small towel. “You did really well today.”
“Except for one thing.”
The humor disappeared from Nova’s face. “Willow—”
“I want to try it again,” Willow stated.
Nova studied her for several seconds before glancing toward Matt, one of her employees who was wiping down equipment nearby. He was a former police officer who had worked with Willow during several of her lessons, and, more importantly, someone Willow had slowly grown comfortable around.
Nova turned back to her. “You don’t have to prove anything today.”
“I know.”
“And stopping isn’t failing.”
“I know that too.”
Nova stepped closer. “Then why do you want to do this?”
Because she was tired of freezing.
Willow looked toward the children's room again. Lily had abandoned her crayons and was now standing beside another little girl while they attempted to build a tower taller than both of them.
“I don’t want that to be the one thing someone can use against me forever.”
Nova didn’t respond immediately.
Willow rubbed her palms against her leggings. “Every time someone grabs me from behind, I’m right back there. I know I’m here. I know I’m safe. I know Matt isn’t going to hurt me, but my body doesn’t seem to understand that.”
“That takes time.”
“I know.” Willow drew in a slow breath. “But I want to try again.”
Nova held her gaze for another moment before nodding. “Okay.”
She motioned Matt over and explained what Willow wanted to do. He listened before looking directly at Willow.
“You sure?”
The question shouldn’t have meant as much as it did.
Three years with Chen had taught Willow that what she wanted didn’t matter. Nobody asked permission before touching her. Nobody cared whether she was afraid, uncomfortable, or hurting.
Now, people asked before touching her. Jay Bird asked. Nova asked. Matt asked.
She nodded. “I’m sure.”
“All right.” Matt gestured toward the mat. “You tell me to stop, I stop. Doesn’t matter where we are in the drill.”
“I understand.”
“And I’m not going full strength.”
Willow managed a smile. “I appreciate you not breaking me.”
“I’ve seen Jay Bird.” Matt grinned. “I’m more concerned about him breaking me if I send you home injured.”
Nova snorted.
Willow laughed despite herself. “That’s probably a legitimate concern.”
The humor helped settle her nerves, but they returned the moment Willow stepped onto the mat and turned her back to Matt.
Her heart immediately started beating faster.
Nova moved where Willow could see her.
“Remember what we’ve practiced. He has size and strength. Don’t waste energy fighting either one. Your job is to create space and get away.”
Willow nodded.
“Ready?”
She closed her eyes briefly, and Central Park flashed through her mind. She saw the darkness, the cold morning air, the sound of footsteps behind her, and then the sudden feel of hands grabbing her.
Willow opened her eyes.
“Ready.”
Matt came up behind her and wrapped an arm around her.
Willow froze. Every thought vanished as her body went rigid, and for a moment, she could no longer feel the padded floor beneath her feet.
Instead, she smelled damp pavement and felt an arm crushing her chest. She remembered trying to scream, remembered the helpless panic of something pressing against her face, and suddenly she was no longer in the gym.
Her lungs stopped working.
“Willow.”
Nova’s voice sounded far away.
Matt released her immediately and stepped back.
Willow stumbled forward, wrapping her arms around herself.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.”
“I knew what he was going to do.”
Nova walked closer but stopped several feet away. “Knowing and experiencing are two different things.”
Willow stared at the floor. “I froze again.”
“You did.”
The answer made her look up. Nova wasn’t pitying her, and she wasn’t disappointed either.
“You froze because your body remembered something terrifying,” Nova continued. “That doesn’t mean you failed. It means we found the place where we still have work to do.”
Willow swallowed hard.
Matt remained several feet behind her, giving her space.
Nova nodded toward the bench. “We’re done for today.”
“No.”
“Willow.”
“I want to do it again.”
Nova’s expression softened. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I’m not doing it for you.”
Her gaze moved through the glass toward Lily. “I’m doing it for Lily and for me.”
Nova stared at her for a long moment before nodding. “One more.”
Willow returned to the center of the mat, shaking out her arms and rolling her shoulders before turning her back to Matt again.
Her heart was still hammering, but this time she focused on the things around her.
She listened to the soft hum of the air conditioner overhead, the quiet music playing through the speakers, and Lily’s laughter drifting through the wall.
Nova stood several feet away, close enough to remind Willow that she wasn’t alone.
“Ready?” Matt asked.
Willow took a breath. “Yes.”
His arm came around her, and fear slammed into her just as hard as before.
Matt shifted his weight and pulled her backward, and although Willow tried to remember everything Nova had taught her, panic scrambled the instructions inside her head. She fought against his arm instead of changing position, and Matt easily controlled the movement.
“Don’t fight his strength,” Nova called. “Remember what you know.”
Matt changed position, and a moment later Willow found herself going down.
Her back hit the mat, and everything disappeared.
For one terrifying heartbeat, she wasn’t inside the gym anymore.
She was back in Central Park, with a stranger looming over her and terror choking the scream in her throat.
She remembered the needle, the darkness, and waking up somewhere she’d never seen before.
She remembered Chen’s hands, his belt, and his voice telling her that she belonged to him.
Willow couldn’t breathe.
Then Lily’s voice broke through the memories. “Momma.”
Willow’s eyes focused. She wasn’t there anymore, and she wasn’t helpless. She sure as hell wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life waiting for someone else to save her.
“Willow!” Nova shouted. “Make space. You know how.”
Something inside her snapped into place—not panic, but anger.
Willow stopped fighting Matt’s weight and remembered what Nova had drilled into her. She shifted her hips, planted her foot, and turned.
“That’s it!” Nova yelled. “Keep moving.”
Matt adjusted, but Willow moved with him.
She brought her knee up, used the space she had created, and twisted exactly the way they had practiced.
His hold loosened, and Willow didn’t hesitate. She broke free, rolled away, and scrambled to her feet.
Matt came toward her again, slowly enough to keep the drill controlled but fast enough that she had to react.
This time, she reacted. Willow redirected his arm, stepped around him, and used his momentum instead of trying to overpower him. A few seconds later, Matt was on the mat.
Willow stood over him, chest heaving, while silence settled over the mat.
For several seconds, neither of them said a word.
She stared down at Matt, still trying to catch her breath, and he stared back at her with an expression that slowly shifted from surprise to amusement.
Then he grinned. “Well, damn. Remind me never to sneak up on you in a dark parking lot.”
A laugh burst out of her before she could stop it.
Nova threw both hands into the air. “Yes!”
Willow covered her mouth as laughter mixed with tears, and suddenly Nova was hugging her.
“You did it.”
“I did.”
“You absolutely fucking did.”
Willow laughed harder.
Matt climbed to his feet and held up his hand. “That last turn was good. You didn’t try to muscle through it.”
Willow slapped her palm against his. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Nova pulled back and looked at her. “Do you understand what you just did?”
Willow wiped beneath her eyes. “Put a former cop on his ass?”
Matt pointed at her. “Don’t get cocky.”
She laughed.
Nova smiled, but her expression quickly became serious.
“You got scared, Willow. You froze, you panicked, and you ended up on the ground. None of those things meant the fight was over. The goal isn’t making sure nobody ever gets the upper hand on you,” Nova continued.
“Sometimes they will. Someone might be bigger, stronger, or catch you by surprise. What matters is what you do with the opportunity they give you.” She squeezed Willow’s shoulder.
“You make damn sure they regret giving you the chance to fight back.”
Something about those words settled deep inside Willow.
She nodded. “I can do that.”
Nova smiled. “Yeah. I think you can.”
Twenty minutes later, Willow sat on the edge of the mat with a bottle of water pressed against her cheek while Nova finished closing down the training area. Lily was still happily occupied in the childcare room, which Willow considered nothing short of miraculous.
Her entire body hurt, and she knew tomorrow was going to suck, but she couldn’t stop smiling.
Nova walked over and dropped onto the mat beside her. “You’ve been sitting here smiling at nothing for five minutes.”
“I was thinking.”
“That can be a dangerous hobby.”
Willow bumped her shoulder against Nova’s.
For a moment, she stared across the quiet gym, thinking about the woman who had walked through Central Park three years ago, believing the biggest problem in her life was figuring out how to tell Mia that their boss might be involved in something illegal.
She hadn’t known that morning would divide her life into before and after.
“Three years ago, someone came up behind me in Central Park,” Willow said quietly. “I never even had a chance.”
Nova didn’t say anything because she already heard the story.
Willow looked toward the mat where Matt had taken her down.
“Today I gave myself one.”
Nova’s smile was small but proud.
“That you did.”
Willow took another drink of water before getting to her feet. She was ready to collect Lily, head home, and probably text Jay Bird something obnoxious about how she had just taken down a former cop. Knowing him, he would ask for video evidence.
She smiled at the thought.
For the first time since she had escaped Chen, Willow didn’t feel like a woman running from something. She felt like a woman moving toward something.
And although Willow couldn’t possibly know it as she walked toward the childcare room and heard Lily squeal, “Momma!” the moment she saw her through the glass, the lesson she had learned tonight would soon matter far more than she could have imagined.
Because Chen Pham had made one very dangerous mistake. He still believed he knew exactly who Willow was.