26. Madison
26
MADISON
When I show up at Aurora's house for the last planning session before the Christmas party, I’m already a little on edge. Maybe it’s because I’m still thinking about Ethan, about how he’s been so supportive of me and my dream to open a surf school. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t seen the girls in a while, and I can’t shake the feeling that something is off.
Normally, I get at least one text a day from one of them. Mia is always asking me about how safe the ocean is or little tips about the area for her guests. Zoe is always checking on me—and everyone else. Aurora always has something to tell me—usually about someone she saw wearing something completely ridiculous. And Stella is always trying to convince me to go out for drinks with her.
The idea of having to find something to get all the dog hair off my clothes is enough of a reason to say no to Stella. But as I show up at the meeting, I realize that other than the group text from Aurora about the meeting, I haven’t really heard from anyone for a couple of days.
The moment I walk through the door, I can feel that something is off. It’s subtle. No one is saying anything wrong or unusual. But it just feels weird.
Maybe I’m being too sensitive. Aurora has often accused me of that over the years.
But I decide to pretend like nothing is wrong. I can’t let myself start worrying about things now.
Aurora is in the kitchen, stirring something on the stove, and Mia and Zoe are sitting on the couch, scrolling through a holiday-themed Pinterest board on Mia’s phone. They all glance up when I enter, but the energy is…different. Off.
I force a smile and wave as I kick off my shoes. “Hey! What’s up? Are we ready to get this party finalized?”
Aurora doesn’t say anything right away. She just nods, too focused on whatever she’s cooking. “I’m just finishing up this soup. We can’t finish decorating on empty stomachs.”
I move into the kitchen since Mia and Zoe seem absorbed in the phone. “Smells good. What kind of soup is it?”
“Cream of mushroom, but it isn’t like that cream of mushroom that comes out of a can. You have to trust that I wouldn’t serve anyone something that came out of a can.”
My mouth waters as I move closer and see the steam rising from the pot. “Mmmm, you should just make this for the party. It looks easier than the appetizers we’ve planned.”
“No, because soup is too easy to spill, and then I need to rearrange the table to have spoons as well. The point of making everything something you can grab with your hand is to minimize silverware usage.”
I shrug, not really caring what’s served. I was just trying to be friendly.
Stella pops in just then, and everyone smiles when they see her. “Hello! Merry Christmas! I bring with me chocolate-covered pretzels. ”
Mia and Stella immediately start splitting the pretzels, but Aurora gives them a sour look like the pretzels are somehow upstaging the soup she’s made.
I continue to stand staunchly by her side. We are all friends, but sometimes, there are silent battles like this, annoyances that we don’t speak about.
“How’s the job going?” I ask Aurora.
“Oh, it’s…not good. No, not good. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to stay at it for much longer. I want to get out of there and find my people.”
I’ve heard Aurora complain enough about her job to know that “her people” are definitely not what the company is made of. “I guess when you have a boring office job, that’s what happens.”
“Well, I would never stoop as low as dog-sitting.”
I remain silent. Apparently, Aurora wouldn’t stoop as low as dog-sitting, but she doesn’t mind insulting me. I look down at my leggings and see some light-colored fur clinging to them. That must be Tigger.
Finally, Aurora pronounces the soup ready. “Bowls are over here. Serve yourself, and you can pair it with this salad and bread. Enjoy!”
We start lining up like some sort of Friendsgiving meal and dig in. It’s easier that we’re not talking when we’re sitting around taking bites of food.
I try to start a conversation once we’re all seated and have appropriately thanked Aurora for her delicious cooking. She’s still glowing from our compliments when I ask. “So, is anyone going somewhere for Christmas, or will you all be staying here?”
Mia and Zoe exchange a look, and that’s when the uneasiness in my stomach twists a little tighter. Have I said something wrong? Something must be going on that I don’t know about.
Stella pipes up happily, apparently blind to the tension. “I’m going to my grandparents’ place in South Carolina, but I’m going between Christmas and New Year’s. I’ll be seeing some of my cousins. It should be fun.”
Zoe answers next. “I’ll also be going to my grandmother’s but just on Christmas Day. She’s only an hour from here.”
I answer my own question when no one else says anything. “I’ll stay here. Wesley and I might have lunch together or something.”
“You two should come to the Christmas brunch I’m having at the bed and breakfast,” Mia offers.
I smile at her offer. Even though I’ll be eating with a bunch of strangers, I like the idea. Maybe I’ll invite Ethan.
But then I remember. I can’t. I can’t be seen out with him in public anywhere, but especially not at Mia’s place.
“Aurora? Will you spend Christmas with your…dad?” I almost choke on the word. I reach for my glass of water and chug it down.
Aurora doesn’t answer me. Instead, with a smile on her face, she changes the subject. “The final touches today shouldn’t take too long. An hour at most. I just want things done so I don’t have to think about it anymore.”
I scoop another spoonful of soup into my mouth. I don’t know why, but it’s like everything Aurora says annoys me right now. Is it something to do with the relationship I have with her father? How would that even make sense? Aurora and I have been best friends forever. I can’t let anything come between us.
“Great. Looking forward to finishing up decorations,” I conclude .
Aurora barrels onward. “Then, I’ll just confirm the guest list and keep everyone updated on a head count so you can know how much of each dish to make.”
“Wait. We’re cooking?” I ask.
Aurora fixes me with an annoyed stare. “Yes, if you had been at the first meeting, you would know that. Everyone volunteered to make two dishes. We’ll have the desserts catered, so it’s just the other dishes.”
“What am I supposed to bring?”
“Something that’s a finger food and something that has meat. You can figure out what you want to bring specifically.” Aurora turns her attention back to the group as a whole. “Anyway, the current headcount is twenty-one. That’s including us, but I’m expecting more like thirty to forty. Like I said, I’ll keep you updated.”
This meal is starting to feel more like just a place for Aurora to boss us around instead of a meal for us to enjoy together. She continues with more instructions.
When she finishes, no one has anything other to say than, “sure” or “of course.” Aurora is pretty much running the show.
I scoop up the last of my soup and slurp it carefully. I want a second helping, but I want to get the decorating over with.
As we finish eating, I try to engage in the conversation, but it’s like I’m talking to a wall. Aurora’s responses are short and clipped. Mia and Zoe keep glancing at each other. Stella responds brightly, but she’s more interested in the food than conversation. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, and no one is willing to tell me why.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Mia shifts in her seat and clears her throat. “It seems like everyone is pretty much done. Aurora, Madison, and I will take the living room decorations.”
I press my back against the back of the chair. I don’t remember saying I would do that, but I guess the living room is as good as any other room.
“Fine.” Aurora waves us away. “Go get it done. You have the dream picture.”
I slowly slide back and follow Mia into the living room. A moment later, Zoe appears.
After we start lining up crepe paper decorations, Mia takes a deep breath, like she’s bracing herself for something. Zoe leans against the wall, arms crossed. She finally grabs a crepe paper mistletoe and holds it in place by the mantle.
“What’s going on? You guys are freaking me out. Do you…have something to say to me?”
Mia exchanges another glance with Zoe. Then, she leans closer to me so that her voice won’t drift into the dining room. “Madison, there’s something you need to know. We didn’t want to bring it up like this, but…it’s important.”
My stomach flips. “What is it?”
Zoe sighs, her expression hardening. “Aurora’s been spreading some…rumors about you.”
I stare at her, my heart pounding. “What? What kind of rumors?” I’m immediately taken back to elementary school when Aurora actually saved me from the rumors other kids were spreading about me.
One of them was saying that I still wet the bed, and Aurora jumped in with a clever comeback that made her instantly my heroine. She’s not my heroine anymore, but I’ll still never forget that day.
Mia hesitates, biting her lip, and Zoe steps in, her voice firmer. “She’s been telling people that you’re… That you’re sleeping with her dad. ”
The room tilts, and for a second, I feel like the floor is dropping out from under me. My breath catches in my throat, and my heart feels like it’s about to explode.
No. No, no, no.
“What?” I choke out. “She… She said what?” How has she figured it out? Or maybe she hasn’t figured out anything, but she just wants to see if anything is stirred up by her spreading rumors like this.
Mia looks at Zoe, and Zoe takes over. “She’s been saying it since yesterday. She texted me. Did she text you too, Mia?”
Mia nods mournfully. “At first, I thought she was joking. Then, it was pretty clear that this wasn’t a joke. I don’t know who else she’s told, but…it’s out there, Madison. And you should know. I don’t know what you’ve done to tick her off into making something up like this, but she is acting like it’s true.”
My head spins, and the nausea hits me like a freight train. My stomach twists violently, and for a second, I think I might actually vomit. I press a hand to my mouth, trying to keep it together, but the room feels too small, too suffocating.
How could she?
I know she’s just in the other room, and I can’t afford to break down now. If I start sobbing or screaming, and I’m really not sure which one I would prefer, then she’s going to win.
“I—I’m not… I mean, that’s not… I would never—” Deny it. I have to deny it. Zoe knows some, but I’m hoping she’s not putting together what I’ve told her with what Aurora has been saying.
I risk a glance up to her eyes, but Zoe won’t meet mine. She must know. She’s not stupid. She’s figured out that Ethan is the “older guy” I was talking about .
Luckily, it seems like she hasn’t said anything to Mia.
Mia reaches out and grabs my arm gently, her expression sympathetic. “Madison, we know. We don’t believe it. But we thought you should hear it from us before she confronts you about it or…have you done something recently that would make Aurora say something like this?”
Yes, I’ve slept with her father. But I can’t admit that, and Aurora can’t know. There’s no way. Ethan wouldn’t tell her, and I didn’t. No one else knows.
Mia continues, keeping her voice quiet so that Stella and Aurora won’t hear us from the kitchen. “I don’t know why she’s saying it, but we figured…it might have something to do with how absent you have been. You haven’t hosted anything, and you missed that meeting. Aurora might feel like you have other things to do, and I’m sure you do. I’m just not sure why she landed on this as an explanation.”
Mia swallows and looks almost guilty to say it. “Maybe she doesn’t like that her dad is helping you with the dogs. Even though I can’t imagine why.”
My mind races, flashing back to when Ethan showed up at the door while Aurora and Mia were there. It was awkward, and I almost didn’t cover for it, but I thought I pulled it off.
“I can’t believe this. I don’t even know what to say. I honestly don’t want to stay here and deal with decorations when that’s what she’s saying behind my back.”
Zoe’s expression softens, and she steps closer. “Madison, you need to talk to her. You can’t let this go. You need to…bring things out into the open.”
I don’t know if this is Zoe’s hint that she thinks Ethan is the “older guy” I mentioned or not. Either way, she’s right about one thing. I have to talk to someone, but it’s not Aurora I want to talk to. It’s Ethan. He needs to know about this. But at the same time, I’m not good at having difficult conversations. Maybe it would just be easier to hide out and avoid him as long as possible.
I stand abruptly, needing to get out of there. I can’t breathe in this room. I need air, and I need out of Aurora’s place.
“I—I have to go. Tell Aurora whatever you want, but I need some…space to process this.”
“Madison, wait.” Mia tries to catch my arm, but I’m already moving toward the door, my mind spinning. I can’t stay here. I can’t face Aurora right now. I can’t even think straight.
“I’m sorry. I need to go.” And then, I do. I march out the front door without saying anything to Aurora. Is this it? Am I going to lose all my friends? It seems like everything in my life is spinning out of control.