Chapter Three
Ellie
I really did believe that being honest about our feelings was the best idea.
That was stupid.
That small bit of vulnerability has me craving the safety of his big, inked-up arms. It has me desperate to tell him every feeling and thought I’ve had over the past year. Now I’m searching for validation, and hungry for touch. His touch. His rough, warm, intoxicating touch.
“I think this is the place,” I say, as he pulls up Main Street in the quaint little mountain town I call home. “I rented the place above the bakery. I figure the commute time will be short.”
He laughs under his breath and pulls to the side of the road, parking his big truck beside the shop. It’s late and dark, and there’s no one on the street except for a raccoon who’s mindlessly chomping on a slice of pizza. I’m not sure where he found it, but he seems very happy.
“I’m excited. I’ve never had my own apartment before.” I hop from the truck as I talk and grab my bag from the back seat. “The owner told me she’d leave the key under the mat for me. Do you come to the bakery a lot?”
“I do.” He nods as we head toward the front door. “I’m in here twice a week for coffee and a bear claw. They’re famous around here.”
“That’s what I hear. Apparently, I get a free one every morning.” I grin. “Perk of the job.”
He lifts the mat by the front door and grabs out the key, unlocking the labyrinth of doors that lead upstairs to another lockbox with a code that has the key to my apartment. I’m focused on punching in the number sequence in the text sent to me when I feel Silas’ big, warm hand on my shoulder.
“Angel,” there’s concern in his voice, “you can’t stay here.”
I glance toward him, my chest tightening as I see the note stuck to the door with a hunting knife.
‘Welcome home.’
“I don’t get it,” I say, looking up at Silas as I push back tears. “I didn’t tell anyone I rented this place. You didn’t even know. How would Adam find out?”
Silas’ massive shoulders rise and fall as he stares at me. “Did he ever have access to your phone?”
I nod. “While we were dating. I mean, I wasn’t super careful about him checking it. I had nothing to hide.”
He draws in a deep breath and lets it out quickly. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you should leave it here. Slide it inside the door. If he is tracking you through it, it’ll throw him off until morning at least.”
I narrow my brows and shake my head quickly, trying to understand what the heck is happening. “You really think he’s spying on me through my phone?”
“No clue, but I’m not risking it.”
Maybe this is a bigger deal than I thought.
As I stare up at Silas, the hallway shrinks. He’s so big, so strong, so intimidating. I want to bury myself against him, seek safety in his arms, breathe in his masculine scent, feel the rhythm of his steady heart until I’m calm again.
“You’re coming home with me.” His big hand sinks into mine, warm and certain, his thumb brushing across my knuckles in comfort.
I know I should be focusing on the information that I’m missing out on my new apartment and that my ex is a psycho who’s been tracking me, but there’s something about Silas’ touch that quiets the world. It shouldn’t, but it does.
Even outside, in the cool spring air, I’m under his spell.
The moment stretches and shifts, and before I know it, we’re in his truck, driving up the old mountain road toward his little cabin in the woods.
“You got quiet. Tell me what’s wrong.” He’s not asking, he’s demanding me. Demanding I share my feelings and tell him what’s on my mind. It’s so different from anything I’m used to. Most men don’t want to know your feelings. They want to avoid them.
“I’m just—” The thought gets caught in my throat as I stare at him in the moonlight.
How do I tell him that I feel more comfortable with him than I ever have with anyone?
How do I tell him that the second he touched me, I felt whole?
How do I tell him my panties are soaking wet, and all I want more than anything is for him to weigh me down, fuck me hard, and fill me up?
He turns up the old dirt road that’s lined with tall pines. It’s only been a year since I’ve been up here, but everything about it feels different. Maybe it’s because this time, I’m here for the right reasons, instead of pretending to be into Adam to hang out around his dad.
I’ve never admitted that out loud and I’m not sure I ever would, but it’s the truth.
The truck rolls to a stop in front of his cabin, the headlights sweeping over the porch where one dim light hangs outside, flickering against the dark.
Silas turns toward me, his jaw set. “You were saying something.”
“Oh!” I swallow hard, still unsure of how to say all the things I’m thinking. “I guess, I just… I’m thankful.” I sigh. “I’m so thankful you came out here with me.”
He nods once, though I can tell he’s not buying my bullshit. “Let’s get you inside.”
I’m sure he’s moving, I hear the truck door open and close, I see the blur of his heavy frame pass around the front of the truck, but I’m caught on the back corner of the front porch.
I’ve thought about the moment we had there far too many times over the past year. Enough so that my skin is buzzing.
I mean, how do I push back every urge that’s been eating away at me when we have the opportunity to do the filthy things I know we’re both thinking about without anyone ever knowing?
We’re alone. Whatever happens tonight can stay right here in this cabin.
I’m lost in my thoughts when he opens my door and reaches up for my hand. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I clear my throat, “just tired.”
“I bet. What time do you have to be at work in the morning?”
“Eight.”
He glances down at his phone for the time. “Damn, you need to sleep.” The lock clicks softly before we step inside the cabin that smells like worn leather and pine, just like him.
“I don’t know if I can sleep right away. I’m pretty wound up,” I say, sliding my sandals off by the front door.
He flicks on the kitchen lights and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, handing it to me. “You need to try. Tomorrow is a big day.”
The reminder settles in my chest with warmth, like he wants me to do well, like he genuinely cares, so I listen and follow him down the dark hallway, the weight of his frame creaking the old pine wood floors.
Ghosts of old visits brush over me as I walk through the halls, thinking about every glance, every stare, every silent wish I’d made that Silas would come scoop me up and toss me onto his bed.
It’s depraved, the things I thought back then.
The things I wanted him to do to me with Adam in the next room.
Silas pushes open his bedroom door, giving way to a king-sized bed that’s covered in a handmade quilt.
I wonder who’s made it, but I don’t ask questions.
I’m too busy soaking in every detail. The way he’s arranged his dresser on the back wall with a framed photo of him and Adam at the beach when he was a kid.
The way his clothes are strung over the back of a rocking chair in the corner of the room.
The way his rifle leans against the wall between his bed and his nightstand.
“This room is the most comfortable,” he says.
“The bathroom is attached and you’ll have the whole space to yourself. ”
It’s been my dream to lie in his bed for as long as I can remember, but I always imagined he’d be in it with me.
“Oh, I… I don’t want to take your bed. I can sleep in the spare room.”
“The only spare room is Adam’s, and I didn’t think you’d want that kind of memory tonight.” He nods once toward me, his hand white knuckling the door handle. “Help yourself to anything. Is there anything else you need?”
I get the feeling that he’s trying to get away.
“No,” I squeak, “I should be good.” I say the words, though I’m not sure they’re very convincing. How could they be when the truth is that I need a lot more? I need him. I want him.
“Silas,” I say before my brain stops my mouth.
“Yeah?” His deep voice rumbles through the dark as my pussy throbs.
My mouth is dry, and I can’t get my words out. “I’m… it’s hard being here.”
“Why’s that?” There’s a shake in his voice that tells me it’s hard for him too.
My eyes dart side to side, as though the answer to how to fix this is painted on the walls somewhere. Finally, I shrug. “I don’t know. I mean, I know… I really know, but I don’t know how to tell you.”
“Just say it, angel,” he groans. “It’s okay.”
“I’m soaking wet.” Well, that’s one way to say it.
He barks an uncomfortable laugh. “I’m sorry?”
My mouth opens then shuts again, unsure of how to follow that one up. “I must have spilled something in the truck. I’m… I need a shower.”
“Oh.” He scratches his massive hand down over his beard and nods toward the bathroom. “Help yourself. There are towels in the closet.”
I nod, upset with myself for staying quiet. For once in my life, I don’t want to be quiet. I want to take what I need
Before I can second guess myself, I tug at the strap of my sundress and let the smooth cotton slide to the floor.
“Jesus Christ, angel,” he groans. “What are you doing?”
“We’re alone.” I swallow and stand perfectly still in the center of the room, my bare breasts on display for the man I’ve spent a year trying to erase from my mind. “I need you to touch me.”
His wide chest expands as he stands in the doorway, fists clenched, cock hard like he’d rather fight himself than give into temptation.
“We don’t have to tell anyone,” I continue.
“Tonight can be just for us.” I swallow hard as my thighs squeeze together inadvertently, trying to quell the urges bubbling up.
“I feel so safe when you’re around, Silas.
I need you. I need you right now or I’m going to think about this moment for the rest of my life and wish I’d tried. ”
His jaw tightens as he holds firm in the doorway. “You’re killing me, angel. This is fucked up. I promised your parents. I—”