19. Rose
Rose
I hum to myself as I pull the bookcase away from the wall, pushing it over to the far side of the room. Yes, I can almost see how it will all come together: the crib right there beside the window, so the baby will wake to sunshine pouring into the room every morning.
Wait—are babies supposed to get a lot of sunshine? Shit, there’s still so much I need to learn about all of this, and I don’t know where to start.
I sigh, planting my hands on my hips as I catch my breath.
I can almost hear Ilya’s voice in my mind, telling me to be more careful about how I handle myself because I need to think of the baby.
But I will lose my mind if I spend any longer locked up in that room, waiting for the doctor to arrive.
And besides, if I’m going to be having my child here, I want to make sure that they have a decent nursery waiting for them.
The room I’ve selected is the one next to mine.
I insisted to the guards on my door that they could stand watch over me the same way they do in my quarters, but that if I didn’t get out of there, I was going to lose it entirely.
I don’t know if they believed me, but they stopped arguing with me about it, and that has to count for something.
Right now, two of them are standing just outside the door.
Before I came in, one of them checked the windows to make sure I couldn’t make a break for it.
Though, truthfully, I am beyond the point of no return with this place now.
I can run as far as I want, trying to escape back to the life I had known before, but I can tell that Ilya is never going to let me get away.
He has purchased my apartment, my job—shit, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s thrown enough money at this whole damn city to make sure that I couldn’t set foot outside this place without him knowing about it.
After the way he claimed me in front of his men, there’s nothing I can do to deny the ownership he has of me—and it’s time to come to terms with it.
I don’t really have much in the way of baby stuff to fill this place with, but at least I’ll be able to imagine what it’ll look like when it’s all put together.
I want this to be the baby’s room, right next to mine, and I imagine propping up a baby monitor next to my bed so I can watch them as they sleep.
A surge of protectiveness runs through me at the thought.
Oh, no, I’m totally going to be sharing a room with my child for at least the first few months.
I can already tell I’m going to be fussing over them at every turn, but, with the world I’m bringing them into, I guess that’s no bad thing.
There’s a bathroom attached to this guest room, so I suppose I’ll have to get it all set up to ensure the child’s safety.
I step into it, planting my hands on my hips and surveying the space before me.
I need one of those little baby baths, that’s for sure.
And something for toilet training, eventually.
Would I need a changing table, too? I get the feeling that there is little that Ilya will deny me if I ask him for it, but that doesn’t mean I want to owe him more favors than I already do.
I hear the door to the room open. I stick my head out, expecting to see one of the guards checking on me, but I’m surprised to find myself looking at Sergei. My eyebrows raise slightly, and I wonder what I’ve done to earn the second-in-command’s attention.
"What is it?" I ask, stepping out of the bathroom so I can face him directly.
Sergei’s gaze meets mine for a moment, taking me in, like he’s surprised to see me out of my room. "I went to your room,” he says. “You weren’t there."
"Evidently," I reply, gesturing around. "I want to get started on putting together a nursery, now that I’m going to be living here."
His eyes flash with something I can’t get a read on, and I find myself shifting my weight from foot to foot slightly, suddenly nervous at his presence.
I hardly know this man, after all. As much as Ilya clearly puts a huge amount of trust in him, there’s a part of me that can’t get a handle on him.
The way he averted his eyes from Ilya and me in the meeting room, how he was watching me the other day…
it’s as though there is something burning just out of sight, threatening to punch its way to the surface.
And God, I don’t think I’m ready for any more surprises. Not after everything that has happened.
"You plan to stay, then?" Sergei replies, his voice even.
My head jerks back slightly in surprise. "Uh, yeah, of course I do," I reply, laughing slightly, as though it’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. "Not like I have much of a choice in the matter, is it?"
His eyebrow arches for a brief moment. "Of course," he replies smoothly, and I can almost mistake the tone in his voice for concern. But there’s something else inside it, something pulled taut. I almost want to ask him what he’s doing here so I can get this conversation over with, but I can sense that I shouldn’t go delving further than necessary.
"I’m glad you seem to take your place here so seriously," he continues, voice measured, all too aware that he’s on the brink of giving something away if he’s too blunt with me.
Shit, maybe I’m just being paranoid, letting the stress of everything that’s happened snake under my skin in a way that I shouldn’t. Call it motherly instincts, but there’s something in me throwing up warning signs that there’s something off about this man.
"Well, I’m going to be a mother," I point out. "I have to think about the baby. Keeping them safe."
"Sensible," he agrees, taking another step into the room. Behind him, I can see that the guards who were on the door seem to have vanished. Dismissed by him? I can’t imagine any other reason they would leave their posts like that.
"After all," he continues, "you know what happens to women in your position when things... don’t go to plan."
I know he’s framing it in that delicate tone to disguise the threat lying beneath. A cold shudder runs down my spine, and I stare at him.
"What—what do you mean by that?"
He cocks his head slightly. "You’ve got a long way to go with your pregnancy yet," he points out. "Anything could happen in that time."
My heart thuds against my chest. His tone might be playing at innocent, but I can sense something pulsing just beneath the surface, my deepest instincts recognizing a threat. I part my lips, but no words come.
"What are you trying to say?" I finally manage.
Sergei looks me up and down, letting the silence linger, clearly all too pleased to let my mind run through all the terrifying possibilities.
"The doctor will be through to see you soon," he tells me. "Make sure you’re ready for him. And not putting together the nursery."
With that, he turns on his heel and marches out, leaving me just as confused as when he first started speaking.
I don’t know what the hell he’s getting at, what he’s trying to tell me.
What does he mean, that I’m still early in my pregnancy?
Is he telling me that something is going to happen before this child comes into the world?
I clasp my hands to my belly, suddenly panicked, as though his words alone might have been enough to cause them harm.
I squeeze my eyes shut. You’re being ridiculous, Rose, I try to tell myself, but the atmosphere he left behind in the room is too heavy for me to ignore. I know that I have to contend with it, one way or another.
I might have to meet with the doctor later today, but there is someone else I’ll speak to as well—someone else who needs to hear just what Sergei said to me. Sergei might be banking on me hating Ilya too much to go to him, but when it comes to my baby, there is nothing I won’t do to keep them safe.