26. SIENNA
SIENNA
Emma is standing in my doorway with her arms crossed, running her eyes down my open closet the way I run my eyes down a dying garden.
"All black?"
"It's the theme. Noir Night. Everybody needs to be all in black." Carter texted me the party details, like he said. He also texted that unfortunately he would not be able to pick me up, but he was sending a car to pick me up at seven. And I’m already running late.
I look at the hangers. Jeans. Work shirts. The blazer I wear to client meetings. "I have nothing."
"Don't worry. I’ve got you." my roommate says.
I hear her bedroom door. A drawer. Hangers. She comes back with a dress over her arm and holds it up.
Black velvet. Halter neck, high and close at the front with a small keyhole cut below the throat. She turns it around and shows me the back. It has a wide structured bow in the same velvet, the kind that has real weight to it, the ties going up to fasten at the neck.
"I bought it for last New Year's Eve. It's vintage, which is a fancy way of saying it's from a thrift store." She grins. "But it will look amazing on you."
I look at the dress and then at Emma, who is three inches shorter than me and narrower in the shoulder.
"Emma… I don't know…"
"Try it on."
The doorbell rings. She presses the dress into my arms with a pair of heeled strappy shoes and holds them out. "Try the dress with these." I take them and she's already heading down the hall. "I'll get the door. Try the whole thing."
She leaves.
I look at the dress.
I put it on.
The velvet is heavier than I expected. The front and back sit high and close against my neck. I reach back for the halter ties and fasten the oversized bow. The fabric settles. On Emma the hem would hit the knee. On me it stops mid-thigh. Not scandalous. But not what I'm used to either.
I look in the mirror.
I hardly recognize myself. I'm used to jeans. Messy buns, work boots and soil under my nails. The woman in the mirror has bare shoulders, an elegant dress and she looks like she might actually belong to a place like Vanta.
I wonder if Carter will think the same.
My stomach tightens. I press my fingers against the keyhole opening at my throat without thinking about it. I’m really excited to see him.
I smooth the front of my dress trying to settle the butterflies in my stomach. This night also has potential for high levels of awkwardness. William will most probably be there too, being one of the owners.
And Adrian? Will he be there?
The thought of being in the same place with all of them after everything that has happened in the last few days has my body going hot.
"Oh my god." Emma is in the doorway with a hand over her mouth. She points at me. "Turn around."
I turn.
She whistles, long and slow. "You look absolutely fantastic." She crosses the room and holds out a black paper bag, ribbon handles, nothing written on the outside.
"This came for you. Courier. I bet Carter sent you a pre party gift." She glances at her phone and her expression changes. "Shit, I'm late. Raid my makeup drawer if you need to." She kisses the air beside my cheek, already moving, already in the hallway, and then the front door closes.
I sit on the edge of the bed.
The box inside the bag is matte black, the surface slightly soft. I open it.
Inside I find a lingerie set. Deep crimson. The fabric so soft and delicate I’m almost afraid to touch it. I pick it out of the box and a note falls landing on the duvet.
I put the lingerie down. Pick up the note.
Wear it tonight. Let's break the rules - Adrian.
I read it twice. Trying to make sense of what is happening.
My skin prickles at the back of my neck and I go very still.
Adrian knows I'm going to the party. He knows Carter invited me. And he is challenging me to break the rules.
I know what his hands feel like. I know what his voice does at the back of his throat when he loses control. I know what it's like to be the only thing in the room that he's paying attention to.
And I know what it's like after. The withdrawal, the careful reconstruction of distance.
My phone beeps with the alarm I set to thirty minutes before the car arrives to pick me up and I get into motion.
I style my hair in a high sleek ponytail.
It takes three tries but I get it just right.
Tight at the crown, not a strand loose. Then foundation, a touch of shimmering gloss on the lips.
And on to the eyes. I hold my breath while I apply the eyeliner carefully, pressing too hard on the first pass and dragging the line.
I go back to the bedroom.
The crimson set is still on the bed where I left it.
The dress doesn't allow a bra. But the panties? Maybe?
I pick them up. The fabric is seductively soft. He chose this specific color, for tonight, knowing where I'd be going and with whom. Let's break the rules…
I put them on before I can think about it too hard.
Shoes next. I sit on the bed and work the buckles, three small clasps on each ankle, and I'm on the second one when the intercom buzzes.
I limp my way to the intercom, with one shoe on and the other almost.
A voice, brief and neutral, "Miss Cross. I’m your driver for the evening."
"I'll be right down."
I finish the buckle. I stand. I go to the hall mirror over the console table and take a final look.
I put my hand flat against my stomach and hold it there for a second, feeling it rise and fall under my palm.
One breath.
I pick up my bag and go.
When I get outside I immediately spot the car. An Escalade idling at the curb. Matte black, enormous, windows tinted so dark the inside is completely invisible from the street. A uniformed driver stands beside the rear door with his hands clasped.
He steps forward when I reach the sidewalk. "Good evening, Miss Cross. Are you ready?"
As ready as I'll ever be. "Yes," I say. "Thank you."
He moves to the rear door. I follow, and I'm thinking about the night ahead, about walking into Vanta and how Carter will react when he sees me.
The driver reaches for the handle, pulls the door open and a hand comes out of the dark interior of the car.
Male. Extended toward me. An offer.
I bend slightly and look past it, into the back seat.
Adrian.
All in black, no tie, collar open at the throat. Leaning back and looking at me with intensity.
His hand is still extended.