31. SIENNA
SIENNA
His arms are around me, his chin is resting on top of my head, my cheek is pressed to his chest and his heartbeat is steady. Mine, I’m not so sure.
I am sitting in William’s lap, on the floor of a security room, naked while the party carries on below. This moment is so fragile that I think we are both afraid to say something that will break it.
Then a phone rings.
It's somewhere close, muffled. William grunts with annoyance but he doesn't move. He presses his mouth briefly to the top of my head instead, keeps his arms where they are, and lets it ring.
It rings for a while. Then it stops.
Then it starts again.
The sound he makes this time is considerably less patient. He loosens one arm from around me, reaches for his jacket on the floor beside us, and digs into the inner pocket.
He looks at the screen. His jaw sets.
"What?" He says to the phone in a clipped way. I can hear a voice on the other end. I can't make out the words. Just the tone.
"Yes." A pause. His arm that is still around me tightens. "She's fine. She’s with me." Another pause, and he sounds more irritated this time. Like he is explaining something obvious to someone who should already know. "No." He makes a deep sigh.
He puts the phone in front of me and I can see the name Carter displayed on the caller ID. I look up at William not sure what he wants. He puts the phone on speaker and tells me with a more gentle voice “Tell them that you are ok or he won’t stop”.
I hear Carter's voice come through, tight and controlled, "Sienna, are you okay?" and then Adrian's voice cutting across, "The bartender said that William dragged you—" and then Carter, flat, "Give me back the phone. Sienna?"
I can't help it and I smile at the phone.
"I'm okay." I notice that my voice is a little shaky.
I can hear Adrian’s voice coming from a little further away from the phone saying “Ask her where she is”.
William takes the phone off speaker. Brings it to his ear. "She's okay." A pause while he listens. "We'll be out soon." Another pause, longer. "Just—" He stops. Starts again. "Give us some time. We need to talk."
He listens to whatever Carter says. He says nothing back for a moment. Then, "Fine," and hangs up letting the phone drop to the floor.
His arm comes back around me. He exhales through his nose, long and slow. "I guess we can't stay here forever," he says.
I lift my head from his chest and say, “We can try.” Aiming for a playful smile but the truth is I’m feeling nervous about what happens next.
William gives me a quick peck on the lips and says “Don’t tempt me”.
Then he straightens and the moment shifts when he says, "We do really need to talk."
I move off his lap and sit beside him on the floor. Suddenly I am very aware that I am naked. I feel vulnerable and exposed, so I reach for his shirt where it's fallen near the jacket. I pull it on. It’s huge on me and smells like him.
William groans, "I don't know what's worse for my self-control," He sounds genuinely pained. "You naked or wearing my shirt."
He reaches over and takes my hand. His fingers thread through mine and he holds on and by the way he looks at me I know that the easy moment is gone.
"I owe you an apology," he says. "I shouldn't have aimed my hate for your father at you.”
I think I understand why he did that, but I still need to know more, so I ask, “It was worse than firing your father and making your family move out, right? How did—”
And I can’t say the words so I just make a gesture to the scars on his back.
The hand that is not holding mine closes in a fist by his side.
For a moment, I think that William is going to shut me out. But then he says, "When my mother died, it was so sudden.”
I reach for his closed hand. He opens it. Lets me in.
"My father was completely lost after that.
I know now he was probably depressed. Most days he couldn't get out of bed.
And that affected his work. So Conrad fired him.
" he delivers with a flat voice. "My family had been loyal to him for years.
Worked themselves into the ground. And he had no hesitation.
No contemplation. Losing the job meant losing also our house.
We'd be out with nothing. Charlotte was six.
My father couldn't work." He pauses. "So I went to talk to your father. Begged him not to do it."
He goes quiet. "The bastard laughed."
I grab both his hands harder.
"I got so angry I started to swear at him.
Calling him names. Your father was a strong man.
" He looks at me when he says it and I just nod.
I know exactly what Conrad Cross's strength felt like.
"He punched me in the face. I went down.
He kicked me in the stomach. I had so much pain I couldn't move. He took out his belt and—”
I can see that he is struggling to carry on so I intervene. "He was probably drunk," I say. "I remember that whisky gave him extra strength."
And William was just a boy then, not this formidable man in front of me.
"The belt was not the worst part." His voice carries fury with shame now. "The worst was going home. To see the resignation in my father’s eyes. And to see how scared my sister was when she saw me beaten to a pulp"
The silence that follows is heavy enough to fill the room.
"We packed our things and left," he says. "But I swore I would get back at Conrad. That I would destroy everything he ever built."
He reaches up with his hand and puts it against my face. "I just didn't expect you to keep showing up in my life." He pauses and makes a resigned laugh. "Even when I forbade my sister from seeing you. There you were. One of her best friends."
He leans down and kisses me softly.
When he pulls back his eyes find mine. "You—" Careful. Like he's picking his way across something he can't fully see. "Why did he—"
I look at the floor. The truth is that I have no reason to give him.
He would beat me up for everything and anything so I just shrug my shoulders and say, “He was a mean drunk," I say.
"He'd start in the morning. During the day he was a charismatic man.
Larger than life. A functioning alcoholic. " I pause. "And he would hit me."
I say it plainly. With no emotion. Something that happened to me. Something that I learned to compartmentalize and move on.
I glance at William and the expression on his face is something I wasn't prepared for. I see fury even bigger than when he was telling me his story.
"And nobody did anything?" he asks.
To answer his question I would have to be more specific about the details. And I would have to share secrets that aren’t mine to share. Maybe some other time. And right now I am feeling emotionally exhausted. So I just shake my head no.
William leans in and presses his mouth to my forehead.
When he pulls back he looks me deep in the eyes and asks, "Ready to go outside?" And he smirks. "I don't think Carter and Adrian can be held at bay much longer."
He gets up and helps me to get up also. I look around for my dress and see William pick it up from the floor, shake it up trying to get rid of the wrinkles and he hands it to me with an apologetic smile.
I take his shirt off.
He groans, gets an arm around me and pulls me in by the hip to a deep kiss.
We get dressed and I decide that it’s best to use my hair down, because I will never be able to get it back on the ponytail at this point.
We are almost composed when William's hand finds mine again. "So, this thing with Adrian and Carter." He is not looking at me. He is looking at the door. "Want to tell me more about it?"