42. CARTER
CARTER
"That's a stupid idea."
"I don't see you contributing with something better."
William's jaw sets. Adrian crosses his arms.
They've been at this since we got back. Different versions of the same loop. William suggests something, Adrian finds the flaw. Adrian suggests something that isn’t much better, and the cycle repeats. This is the fourth iteration. Maybe the fifth.
I’m not going to deny that I also felt some sort of hope when I got Sienna’s message this morning. Just by seeing her name appear on the phone had my heart racing and holding my breath when I opened the message.
It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear from her. But it was a good start.
"What do you think, momma," I say, scratching behind the cat's ears. "Do you think she'll forgive us?"
She blinks once. The full-body indifference of a cat who has decided my problems are not relevant to her afternoon.
She’s lying in her luxurious bed, positioned at a specific angle that Adrian described, with a straight face, as optimal light exposure. She is enormous and appears unbothered by it.
"This cat," I say, "is going to pop any minute now."
Adrian comes away from the window. Kneels next to the bed and puts one hand flat against her side, careful.
"The vet said she still has a week till term," he says. "She has three beautiful kittens in her." He watches her. Then, in a baby voice, "Don't you, sweet girl?"
I look at William.
William looks at the ceiling.
The setup took three weeks to accumulate.
The bed, engineered to a specific lumbar support requirement Adrian found in an article.
The scratch tower in the hallway, floor-to-ceiling, taking up more wall space than most of the actual furniture.
The food, ordered from a specialist supplier after a conversation with the vet about nutritional density.
Everything this cat may need and then some.
But, he hasn't named her.
And I know why.
This cat has some significance to him tied to Sienna. He is waiting for her to name the cat.
I scratch the cat's side. She exhales.
Our phones go off.
All three at once. Same note, same second.
Mine is on the coffee table. I reach it first. The notification shows before I've unlocked it.
Two letters above Sienna.
Hi.
I unlock the screen. Just that one word. And bellow it the dots are dancing.
I look up. Adrian is holding his phone with both hands. William seems to be holding his breath while waiting. None of us says anything.
The dots stop.
Start again.
Adrian's thumb hovers near his screen without touching it. William's hand tightens on his phone, barely.
On my screen the dots go again: stop, start, stop. She's either writing something long or writing something and deleting it and starting over. I don't know which.
The dots stop. Three more seconds.
"Fuck this," I say, and I dial.
Adrian makes a sound. I'm already standing, phone to my ear, and William moves toward me and then Adrian does the same, the three of us standing together in the middle of the living room listening to the line ring.
One ring.
I hear my own pulse under it.
Two.
William is completely still beside me. Adrian's fingers are loose at his side.
Three.
The line opens.
"Hi," she says.
I haven't heard her voice in weeks.
"Hi," I exhale.
Adrian starts making gestures. I don't know what he's trying to communicate. I tune him out.
A short silence on the line. Not hostile. Careful.
"I was just texting you," Sienna says.
"I know," I say. "We saw it. We're all here together, we all got it at the same time, so I just— I thought I'd call. All three of us are here, I mean, so—" I stop. That was not a coherent sentence. "I thought calling made more sense," I finish.
Sienna is quiet.
I wait.
"Humm." A pause. "I was texting because I have something to tell you guys. And I wanted to do it in person."
Something to tell us.
Not talk. Not have a conversation. Tell us.
I feel all the hope that she will forgive us, start to slowly retreat. And I don’t know how I’m going to manage if that happens.
"I was going to text to find out when you're free to—"
"Now," I say. "We're free now."
If we are going to do this it is best to do it sooner rather than later.
Before the idea has time to christalyze and we can maybe still make her change her mind.
From the corner of my eye I can see William nod in agreement. He must be following the gist of the conversation.
"Now?" A pause I can't read. " Yeah. I guess we can do it now."
I can hear her walking. It seems she is somewhere with gravel.
"Meet me at Cross Manor," she says. "See you soon."
The line goes dead.
I lower the phone.
I turn to look at William. He's pale. His eyes seem a little frantic.
I don’t think he is very comfortable going back to that house.
But, he just nods. Once
I don’t know what Sienna wants to say to us. All I know is that I’m not going to let her out of my life without a fight.
I look at Adrian and Carter and say “Let’s go get our girl”