10. Cherry
Cherry
Iwatch from the hotel bed in amusement as Chase tries to beat Bain in an arm-wrestling competition. I think Chase is growing bored of this place because he’s been practically bouncing off the walls since we got back from dinner at Yum Yums.
“I win,” Bain says with a smirk as he smashes Chase's hand into the table.
“Dammit, I was distracted!”
“By what?” Gage asks in disbelief.
“By Cherry’s beautiful blue eyes.” He shoves a hand in my direction as if to help make his point. “See! You try to resist those eyes!”
“Impossible,” Hunter says from my side. I look up at him, and he smiles as he continues to stroke my head and back. I roll over, giving him my belly, and sigh when he starts to rub it.
He chuckles. “You like belly rubs, huh?” I give a little wiggle to let him know I do.
“If everyone’s done getting ready for the night, Cherry could shift for a bit,” he suggests, looking up at the others.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” Chase says, instantly pulling his shirt off and making me roll back so I can sit up and look at him. So many muscles. If only I had hands to touch him with…
I try not to drool as I watch my own personal strip show until they're all down to their boxers.
“Oh! I almost forgot. I grabbed this when I was waiting for the food earlier,” Chase says as he reaches for a bag on the floor. “Here we go,” he says as he pulls the item out and holds it up to show me.
It’s a beautiful cotton nightie. It looks short, but hopefully, since I’m quite short, it will cover enough of me. It has thin straps, and the whole thing is a beautiful sky blue.
“To match your eyes,” Chase says, as if knowing where my thoughts are.
“You want to wear it?” I dip my chin and he pulls it down over my head.
Pulling my legs through is a little difficult as it’s a smaller fit than their large shirts, but he figures it out.
“There!” he says proudly as he climbs onto the bed and crawls up to the headboard.
I sit on his thighs as Bain and Maddox sit on either side of us with Gage and Hunter a little lower, near my legs, facing me.
“Everyone ready?” Maddox asks. Everyone nods, including me, then those who aren’t touching me reach out and place a hand on my legs.
I close my eyes and bask in the sensation of the shift, knowing I get to snuggle with my mates. When I finally open them again, I find them all staring… at my chest.
My arms fly up to cover myself, and I glance down, assuming the nightie isn't covering me properly, but it is. As I slowly pull my arm away, I glance at them in confusion.
“Blue,” Chase uses his nickname for me as he gently grabs my arm and pulls it away from my chest. “What are those?” I look where he’s pointing and realize what they’re all staring at. The trail of heart marks across the top of my chest.
“Oh.” I just blink down at them dumbly. How had I forgotten about them? How had I forgotten to mention them to my mates?
Quick glances at their curious faces and I know why. They’re going to be upset when they learn how I got them.
“They’re ugly,” I say as I run my finger over one of the bigger ones, wondering what death that one is from.
“Ugly?” Hunter asks in confusion. “They’re beautiful. Were you born with them?”
I shake my head.
“Are they tattoos?” Gage asks as he leans a little closer and squints at them.
“Not exactly,” I say as I swallow the lump in my throat.
“Why do you look worried?” Maddox asks cautiously. “What aren’t you telling us?”
I lick my lips, my mouth suddenly feeling dry. “It’s just that—when I tell you, you’re gonna hate them. I’m afraid you’ll never look at me the same again.”
“Hey, now,” Maddox says as he grabs my hand and threads our fingers together. “We’re your mates. No matter what. You hear me?”
“We might still be mates, but it doesn’t mean you’ll still want me.”
“Where is all this self-doubt coming from?” Chase says as he wraps his arms around my middle. “Where did my cute little vixen go? These marks are beautiful, no matter where they came from. ‘Cause they are part of you.”
His words help me feel a little bit braver, but it’s Bain’s next words that decide it for me.
“Angel, tell me. I need to know.”
Why is his bossy voice so sexy?
Deciding to bite the bullet and tell them, I take a deep breath and lift my eyes to Bain’s as I explain. “After I die and wake up, one of these marks is magically burned into my skin.”
I trace my finger along the trail of hearts as I watch him carefully, scared that this will change everything. Slowly, his brow pinches and his eyes move down to my hand on my chest, as if he doesn’t understand. I glance at the others, and they all look just as confused.
Gage is the first to speak. “Are you saying that every single one of those hearts represents a time you died?”
“Yes.”
“Fucking shit,” Chase curses.
“What the actual fuck?” Hunter asks at the same time.
Maddox shakes his head, staring at my chest in horror, and I risk a glance at Bain, who still looks confused.
“Bain?” I ask, in worry.
He reaches up and runs a finger along the marks as he shakes his head. “I don’t understand. You died this many times? But there must be over fifty or sixty here.” His eyes turn from confused to furious as he lifts his gaze to mine. “Are you telling me you’ve died sixty times?”
I feel a tear escape and quickly move to wipe it away as I tell him, “Don’t be mad.” Avoiding answering.
“Not mad at you, baby,” he growls, his eyes moving back to my chest as his finger follows the trail into my armpit. Silently, he lifts my arm, and I take a deep breath, knowing he’s going to trace it all the way back to the start.
“The fuck?” he whispers in horror when he sees it going toward my back. Chase gently presses my back, making me lean forward, then I feel him gather up my hair, holding it off my back and neck.
“Motherfuckers!” Chase yells so loud I jerk in his lap. “Sorry,” he says a little quieter as he gives my waist a small squeeze. I feel fingers trace over the marks along my upper back and up the side of my neck to where they start at the back of my ear.
“Is this where they start?” Bain asks, sounding like he’s about to completely lose it.
I nod and my hair is released as I’m pulled back against Chase’s chest, his arms pulling tighter around me than before. The other four stare at me with a mix of anger and concern.
“Sweetheart,” Maddox says gently as he squeezes my hand. “I know you said they tortured you, but I didn’t realize…”
“How many?” Bain asks, and I turn to him in question. “How many times?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I lost count years ago.”
He squeezes his eyes tightly shut and takes a deep breath. I look at Hunter in concern, and he squeezes my calf, giving me a smile that's more of a grimace.
“Bain’s wolf is pressing him to shift and kill the men who did that, even though we don’t know where they are. But he knows if he does that, you’ll shift and he won’t get any answers. He’s trying to calm his wolf down.”
Bain’s eyes suddenly snap open. His pain and rage-filled eyes meet mine as he growls out. “I vow to you, angel. I will destroy every person who ever harmed you.”
His free hand comes up to trace along the marks, following them to wear they disappear on the opposite side of my chest, near Maddox. “How far does this trail go?”
“I haven’t seen it,” I tell him honestly as I bite my lip, still scared for him to know the truth.
“But you feel it, every time you resurrect?” he confirms and I nod. “Show me,” he demands. “Point to where you felt the last one.”
I glance down my body, trying to pinpoint it since I was in my wolf form at the time. Then I place my hand on my stomach, just above my navel.
He presses his bare leg against mine, making sure we stay connected as Chase grabs my hand and pulls it up, away from my stomach. Then Bain grabs my nightie in both hands, right over the spot I’d just been touching, and rips it, making me gasp in surprise.
I did not expect that.
I watch with wide eyes as he sticks his thick fingers in the two-inch hole and rips it wider.
Then he pulls his fingers out and moves the opening around until he finds the little black hearts.
He follows it until he finds the end, just a little right of center.
Then he uses the hole to follow the trail the other way until the nightie has no more give in it.
He lifts a hand and a sharp claw pops out of his index finger, and he uses that to cut a slit in the fabric.
Everyone is silent as he works, and it surprises me that nobody is saying anything. Then I realize they’re probably speaking in their bond. Maybe they don’t want me to hear what they’re saying.
“Does this wrap all the way around your back?” Maddox asks when he realizes that would be the only way to connect the trail to the other end on my chest nearest to him.
I nod and a couple of them curse. I watch Bain as his blue eyes grow so intense. I know his wolf is pushing hard to break through. He holds out his hands, palms up, and his claws all start to push out.
He shakes his head, battling his wolf for control.
“No,” he grits out. “One death is too many. But this…” his eyes move to my body, bouncing between the marks he can see on my chest and the hole at my abdomen. “This is hundreds.”
His eyes lift to mine, and he shakes his head, looking positively heartbroken. “I’m so fucking sorry you went through that alone, baby. I can’t even—I don’t know how—” he cuts himself off and shakes his head again, and I see his eyes start to grow damp.
My big, strong Bain is crying. For me? For something I went through before he ever even knew I existed?
As we stare at one another, my own emotions rise. Not just for knowing that he cares this much about me and something I’ve been through, but for what I actually went through. The torture, the loneliness, the never-ending daily battle of wishing to permanently die just so I could be rid of the pain.
Unable to help myself, I launch myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck, as his wrap tightly around me. My legs wrap around his waist and hold him as tightly as I can as I press my face into his neck, letting his scent calm me.
I feel the other’s hands on me and realize they were able to hold on, as I had momentarily forgotten about my little shifting problem. Luckily, they hadn’t. But nobody speaks, they just let us cling to each other as we silently work through our emotions.
Just having Bain there to hold on to, knowing he’s not going anywhere, helps anchor me.
Slowly, the tension starts to fade, as does my energy.
I feel myself moved to my side in the bed as I snuggle into a chest. The scent of cedar, layered with leather and faint ash, invades my nose, and I press close, knowing that somehow I ended up in Maddox’s arms.
I let his relaxing scent and powerful arms wrap around me as I fall asleep.