Chapter 18
Seraphina
Iwas running again.
Flashes of fire, of steel, of screams—sharp and bright and too loud. I stumbled through smoke, my arms bound, the world painted in red and ash. Voices barked orders in a tongue I should not understand, but somehow did. I knew them. I knew the cruel intentions behind every word.
Then cold. Chains. Hands that weren’t kind. Magic, twisted and sick. And through it all, a sense of being emptied. Hollowed for someone else’s purpose.
I gasped awake, a choked sound tearing from my throat.
"Seraphina," a voice said gently, grounding me before I could spiral again.
Thavros.
He was here in bed, his arms curling around me with a warmth that chased the cold from my skin. His thumb traced the back of my knuckles, slow and steady.
"You were dreaming," he murmured. "You’re safe. I'm here."
I blinked, my heart pounding so loud it drowned out everything else. The dream, the nightmare, was already fraying at the edges, but the dread it left behind clung like a second skin.
He brushed a damp curl from my forehead. “I’ve got you."
And gods help me, I believed him.
"I hate that you have nightmares because I was not there to protect you. It will never happen again."
He said it like a vow. And I wasn't sure if that made it better or worse. He didn’t carry any blame for these nightmares. I was not having nightmares about being thrown in that cell. No, these were something else, much darker, much deeper; something I was too afraid to even voice.
The next moment, the door flew open without even a knock.
I jerked the blanket up over my chest the second the door opened—human modesty filling my senses. I knew that orcs were much more open about their bodies and sexuality, but I was not there yet.
Khuldruk strode in like he owned the place. Probably because he did.
"Breakfast is—"
He stopped mid-sentence, taking in the sight of me in Thavros’s bed, Thavros shirtless and holding me to his chest, protecting what he could. The pause was brief, but I saw the eyebrow twitch. Just enough to register an orc-level scandal.
“Get. Out.” Thavros’s voice was a low snarl. Not yelling, but there was no mistaking the protective threat.
Khuldruk held up his hands. “Alright, alright. Keep your tusks on, brother. I’ve seen her before–just not this... cozy.”
I made a strangled sound and buried my face in his chest, trying to hide the blush I knew was reddening my cheeks. Thavros took a long, slow breath like he was counting backward from ten.
“I will kill you,” he said without heat, mostly resigned.
Khuldruk laughed as he backed toward the door. “You’re not special. I have my own mate, remember?”
"Meet me at breakfast," he said as he shut the door behind him.
I flopped back against the pillows, cheeks blazing. Then a deep, hearty laugh shook Thavros's chest. While I didn't find it quite as funny, his laugh was absolutely one of my favorite sounds now.
“He’s not wrong, though,” I said, glancing sideways at him. “You do get very cozy.”
He blinked at me. “You invited me into bed.”
“I was traumatized,” I teased.
“Traumatized and handsy.”
I let out a startled laugh, and the tension broke a little. But beneath it, something itched at me. Mate. That word again.
Khuldruk had said it so casually—like it was an ordinary thing. Normal. Expected.
Could I be mated to Thavros?
Gods, what would that mean?
We got out of bed and dressed for the day, but I was distracted.
Maybe it was the dream, or maybe it was the thought of being his mate.
It both excited and terrified me. I tried not to spiral as we entered the great hall, but I was half-distracted by the swirl of thoughts as Thavros guided me toward the long table where Callie and Khuldruk already sat.
The table was laid with meats, fresh bread, fruit, and something that looked like glistening root vegetables smothered in honey.
Callie waved us over enthusiastically, her curls bouncing with the motion. “You’re up! Did you sleep okay? Or—oh no, did Khuldruk walk in on you? He does that.”
I look down at my plate Thavros was filling for me as heat filled my cheeks.
Thavros grunted. “I’m going to put a lock on the door.”
Callie grinned and handed me a hunk of warm bread. “Well, welcome to the waking world. Not that I’m an expert, I haven’t been in the mountains long, but breakfast is sacred. Eat, flirt, and try not to get thrown in any more dungeons.”
I laughed at her while Thavros sent her a playful glare.
As they ate their breakfast, the embarrassment of the morning began to fade.
And once that happened, I found I was actually enjoying myself.
The room was filled with orcs laughing and sharing a meal.
I did get a few double takes sitting with the Chief and his brother, but that's to be expected.
I was sure word of what had happened the night of the Yule feast had already spread through the entire clan.
“I have to attend a meeting with Frema and the warrior captains,” he said softly in my ear.
“Oh, alright,” I said with feigned cheerfulness, nibbling at a piece of fruit.
“It’s necessary,” he said, then softened. “But I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone.”
“You’re not.” Callie chimed in from across the table. “I’m taking her to see the village and to collect some winterberries for the healers.”
I blinked. “You’re what?”
“There’s a meadow just beyond the lower ridge. It’s perfect for clearing your head and sneaking off from all the testosterone and weapons.” She shot Thavros a look. “Don’t worry. I’m very resourceful.”
“I don’t like it,” Thavros muttered.
“They’ll have guards,” Khuldruk said with a grin as he drained his mug. “You think I’d let my mate go frolicking unguarded with things on edge with the Westerly Clan?”
“I wouldn’t call it frolicking,” Callie said, offended.
“I would,” Khuldruk replied smugly.
The love they had for each other was written all over their faces.
It was enough to make me yearn for a love like that.
The idea that I could have something as pure as the love they seemed to share with Thavros was everything.
Just thinking about it was enough to bring a tear to my eye, but I quickly blew it away.
I couldn't think that way. There was still so much to figure out, and I never could shake the feeling that I wouldn't like the answer I found there.
Thavros sighed and leaned close to me, his fingers brushing mine beneath the table. “If you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to go.”
“I want to,” I said honestly. “Fresh air sounds nice. And... I’d like to get to know her better.”
His jaw clenched like it physically pained him to let me out of his sight.
“Alright,” he said at last. “But if anything feels off, anything at all, you come straight back.”
“I’ll guard her with my life,” Callie said solemnly. Then ruined it with a wink.
Khuldruk stood and clapped Thavros on the back. “Come on, brother. Frema’s waiting, and if we’re late, she'll lecture us about how her troops have more discipline than we do.”
Thavros groaned.
As they finished their breakfast, Thavros and Khuldruk stood to make their way to the war room, but not before he held my hand and took me in with a calculating gaze. "If you need anything, the guards will come find me."
I nodded as they walked away. And once again, I felt like crying at the breakfast table. What was wrong with me? I was only going to be without him for a couple of hours, but it felt like we were about to be separated for months.
I glanced over at Callie, who gave me a warm smile. Something about that smile told me she knew exactly what I was thinking.
"Come on," she said as she took my arm and laced it through hers. "Let's go."
The mountain air was crisp and smelled faintly of pine and smoke. It filled my lungs in a way that made me feel… present. Real. I pulled my cloak around me to guard from the cool air, but the sun on my skin, even in this chill, felt amazing.
Callie walked beside me, curls bouncing as she chatted with the guards like they were old drinking buddies. The moment we stepped beyond the stone archway of the inner keep, she turned to me and grinned.
"See? Not so scary. And you didn’t even need a battle axe," she called to the two towering orcs following behind us.
"I don’t know," I murmured. "Could be useful."
She laughed and tugged me down a gentle slope toward a patch of sun-drenched meadow. For a moment, I just stood there and let the sunlight warm my face.
"It feels good to get out, doesn’t it?"
"It really does," I agreed.
"Come on, let's enjoy the sunlight before we have to go back underground."
She had no idea. I'd been trapped in that mountain for longer than I or anyone knew. So fresh air was more novel than she might have thought.
As we wandered to the edge of the clearing and began to pick the little red berries, I finally asked, "Can I ask you something? About… being mated?"
Callie didn’t pause. "You mean the best decision of my life? Fire away."
She had shared with me how she met Khuldruk.
He had traveled to a distant realm to find her to save the magic of the clan.
But she had left out how he'd been awkward trying to fit in, but she fell in love anyway, and he brought her here and beat away enemy orcs to keep her safe.
The more I learned of her story, the more having a mate seemed magical and eternally comforting.
"It was like once I knew him, I couldn't imagine a life without him. It didn't even exist. I've always been a free spirit, so I waited for the bond to feel suffocating, but it never did."
I nodded. I felt the same way about Thavros, but I didn't know what that meant for us. Callie and Khuldruk's love seemed so simple, like they just fit.
"It wasn’t just about the magic," she said. "It’s like being seen for the first time. Every flaw, every strength—he just… knows. And loves me all the same."
My fingers trembled as I continued to pick the berries. I yearned to feel that level of acceptance.
"That sounds… beautiful."
"It is."
I didn’t say anything else. I couldn’t. I wanted it. And I didn’t understand why that terrified me.