Chapter 25 JC
JC
Ilie on my side, one arm under my head, the other tangled in Carrie’s hair.
Her breathing is slow, almost even now, lashes fluttering against her cheek.
She looks peaceful, the firelight playing over her bare shoulder, her skin marked by the night we just gave her.
Blade is sprawled on the other side, already half-asleep, and Wrecker is sitting up, staring into the dying embers, lost in his own thoughts.
I keep my eyes on Carrie. My fingers drift through her hair, soft and heavy, and I find myself tracing the curve of her jaw, the line of her neck. There’s something about her tonight.
Maybe it’s the way she let go with us, the way she held onto my arm, moaning my name, or the sound she made when she came the last time, shaking in my arms.
Her eyelids flutter and she catches me watching. A lazy smile tugs at her lips. “What?” she whispers.
“Nothing,” I murmur, not trusting myself to say any of the shit tangled in my head. She shifts closer, sighs, settles into me like she belongs here.
Nico’s hand is slung across her waist, fingers spread wide, possessive even in sleep.
Something’s changed. I feel it in the way she looks at me, the way I can’t let her go.
She’s not just a girl I want to fuck, not even just the girl I’ve known these past few years.
There’s a piece of her I’ve never touched before, something secret, and for the first time in a long damn while, I want more.
Levi glances back, his gaze lingering on us for a moment, then he looks away, rubbing a hand over his face.
I want all of her, every broken, brave, stubborn part. I just don’t know how to ask for it.
I stroke her hair until she falls asleep, listening to her breath, feeling the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on my chest.
I try to sleep, but my mind won’t let go. Carrie’s warmth is still pressed against my side, Nico’s heavy arm tossed across both of us, Levi somewhere behind me. I stare at the ceiling, then close my eyes and try to breathe her in. It doesn’t help. The weight in my chest just gets heavier.
By the time the sky starts to lighten, I give up. I slide out from under the pile of bodies, careful not to wake anyone. I pull on my jeans and step outside. The air bites, cold enough to make me shiver. I drag in a deep breath, the chill clearing out the last of the fog in my head.
All I can think about is Jinn. His smug face. His lies. What he did to us, what he did to her. It burns under my skin. If I end up back in prison, fine. I just want to know he won’t be walking around to hurt us again. I want to see him beg.
My fists clench at my sides. I picture Jinn’s face, how easy it would be to crush it under my boot. For a second, the urge is so strong it’s almost a taste in my mouth. Maybe revenge is the only thing that will let me breathe easy again.
Behind me, the door creaks. Levi steps out, barefoot and silent as always. He stands there, watching the sky go gray. He doesn’t look at me.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” he asks, his voice low.
I shake my head. “Not even close.”
He crosses his arms, rubbing them for warmth. “You thinking about Jinn?”
“That obvious?”
Levi glances at me, eyes dark. “You want to kill him.”
I let out a short laugh, cold and flat. “Yeah. I do.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
I ignore him, and look at the stretch of trees. I can almost see the road from here. We haven’t heard any police vehicles around, and we must have left the truck at least a few miles away.
Levi stands beside me, arms crossed, steam curling from his breath in the cold air. The quiet stretches, uncomfortable, and I know he’s turning something over in his head.
He glances sideways at me. “You were looking at her different last night.”
I tense, jaw working. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugs, but I see the flicker in his eyes. “You know I like her, Jace.”
I bark a laugh, bitter. “Yeah? All three of us were fucking her, in case you missed it.”
Levi doesn’t flinch. “Does that mean she’s yours? Or that she belongs to all three of us now?”
That hits me in the gut, sharp and raw. “Don’t start this shit. You saw how she was with me. It’s not the same.”
He turns to face me fully, voice low but edged. “You think she didn’t look at me the same way? Or Nico? You’re not the only one who wants her. You’re not special.”
I step closer, anger flaring. “So what? We just take turns and pretend it doesn’t matter? You really think she’s gonna pick all of us?”
Levi meets my stare, not backing down. “Maybe it’s not about picking. Maybe she needs all of us. Or maybe you just can’t stand the idea of sharing.”
I clench my fists, trying to swallow my frustration. The urge to hit something—anything—buzzes under my skin. “I don’t want to share her. I want her to want me. Only me.”
Levi’s eyes narrow, his voice dropping to a cold, steady accusation. “You’re so selfish, you know that? Last night you were ready to leave my brother behind, and now you’re pulling this shit over Carrie?”
I round on him, bristling. “That’s not fair. You don’t know what was going through my head.”
He steps closer, not backing down. “No? Looked pretty damn clear from where I was standing. You wanted out. Hell you would have left me behind if you could.”
“Stop that,” I say. “That’s a lie.” My jaw clenches. Shame flashes through me, hot and ugly, but I shove it down, unwilling to show weakness. “We all made it out, didn’t we?”
“That’s not the point,” Levi bites out. “You put yourself first. Again.”
I open my mouth, anger flaring, when I hear the creak of the door behind us. Nico steps out, freezing halfway through the motion when he hears Levi’s words.
He blinks, confusion turning fast to suspicion. “Leave me behind? What are you talking about?”
“It’s nothing,” Levi says even though he’s still pissed, his jaw taut.
“Nothing?” Nico says, flying toward us. “What the fuck? That didn’t sound like nothing.
” He turns toward me. “You were ready to abandon me? For real?” His voice is sharp.
“So if Carrie hadn’t pulled up, you were ready to leave me behind.
I’d be getting my ass kicked in solitary, or worse—because you broke out without me? ”
I bristle. “That’s not how it was. You got there just before Carrie pulled up with the truck. You know that.”
“Bullshit. You would’ve run. You were halfway to the fence before I made it. Don’t lie to me, Jace.”
Levi tries to step in, voice calm. “Not now, you two. We need to stick together.”
But Nico just pushes him aside. “No, let him talk. I want to hear him say it.”
I feel the frustration boil over. “What do you want me to say, huh? That I’m a coward. That I’m selfish for even entertaining the thought that I could finally escape that hellhole for good?”
“Oh fuck you,” Nico growls.
I shove him right back. “You have no idea what I would’ve done. Don’t talk like you know what was in my head.”
Nico swings. I duck, but he clips my jaw. I grab his jacket, dragging him down. We roll in the cold grass, fists flying, teeth gritted, all the fear and adrenaline of the escape coming out in every punch.
Levi’s voice is in my ear, trying to break us apart. “Knock it off! Both of you! Come on—stop!”
But I can’t stop. Nico’s got my arms pinned, we’re both swearing, wrestling in the mud and frost.
Carrie’s voice cuts through the chaos, sharper than the cold. “Stop! Stop it, both of you!”
She comes running, hair wild, breath billowing in the frosty air. She throws herself between us, grabbing my shoulder, shoving Nico back with her other hand. “What the hell are you doing?” Her eyes are blazing, her cheeks flushed with anger and worry.
For a second, Nico and I just stand there, chest to chest, arms still half-raised. Levi is behind us, hands out, but it’s Carrie who everyone listens to.
She looks at me, then at Nico. “You’re going to ruin everything we’ve worked for because you can’t let go of your pride?” She shakes her head, voice trembling. “We just escaped a prison. We need each other. All of us. This isn’t the time for this.”
Nico backs off, rubbing his jaw, not quite meeting my eyes. I drop my fists, breathing hard, the anger draining out of me as quick as it flared.
I catch my breath, the words spilling out before I can stop them. “It wasn’t just about that, Nico,” I say, voice rough. “You know it.”
Carrie looks at us, eyebrows drawn together. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”
Levi steps up, not hiding anything. “Isn’t it obvious? It’s you, Carrie.”
She stares at us, confusion and something close to fear in her eyes. “Me?”
Nico lets out a shaky breath. “We’ve all crossed lines for you.”
I nod, my throat tight. “We crossed every line we ever set for ourselves. With you. Because we want you, all of us. Because we have feelings for you, Carrie. Now I don’t know the depth of it, heck, these two knuckleheads probably don’t either…
” I trail off while Levi and Nico remain silent.
But I can tell from the look on their faces that I’m not far off the mark.
I sigh. “But it’s more than just sex for me, for all of us. I don’t know how to be any more honest than that.”
She takes a step back, looking from me to Levi to Nico. For a second, none of us speak. The cold bites through my clothes, but I barely feel it. This is the truth, ugly and beautiful and too big to hide anymore.
“We put everything on the line for you,” Levi says quietly. “We’re not sorry for that.”
Nico runs a hand through his hair, his voice softer than I’ve heard it in months. “But now we have to live with it. All of it. You, us, what we did to get here.”
She just stands there, staring at us, arms wrapped around herself. I can see her thinking, see the storm behind her eyes, but she doesn’t say a word. The silence stretches, cold and uncomfortable.
I can’t take it. I step closer, my own heart pounding. “Carrie, say something. Please.”
She looks at me, then at the others, her lips parted but nothing coming out. The morning air feels even colder now, the fog swirling around our feet. For a second, I wonder if I’ve ruined everything—if we all have.
“Do you want this?” I say, voice rough, not caring that Levi and Nico are right there. “Any of it? Us?”
She swallows, blinking fast, and finally meets my eyes. I can’t read her expression, but I can feel how much hangs in the balance.
Then she takes a shaky breath. “Before any of you decide what you want with me, there’s something you need to know.”
Her words cut right through the cold. I hold my breath. Levi and Nico go still.
She lifts her chin, eyes shining with something close to fear. “I’m pregnant. And before you ask…it’s not yours. It’s Jinn’s.”
The words land like a punch. For a second, I can’t breathe. The world tilts sideways. My heart sinks, heavy and hollow, down into my stomach.
I stare at her, trying to process what she’s just said. Pregnant. With Jinn’s kid. Not mine. Not Levi’s. Not Nico’s.
For a moment, nobody says a word. The birds in the trees go quiet, even the wind feels like it’s died. I just stare at Carrie, every part of me trying to fit her words into my chest, but they don’t fit. They scrape and burn.
Levi’s the first to move. He looks at her, then at me, then away. Nico just stands there, jaw clenched, hands shoved deep in his pockets.
I want to say it doesn’t matter. That we’re still here, that we’ll figure it out. But my mouth is dry, my head spinning. I can’t force out the words, not yet. And yet, I never seem to get rid of Jinn’s presence in my life. He’s a shadow I can’t outrun, eclipsing everything in my life, even Carrie.
Carrie looks so small standing in the yard, like she might run, like she expects us to turn our backs on her right now.
My voice comes out low, rough. “When did you find out?”
She meets my eyes, holding my gaze even though she’s shaking. “A little before the escape. I was late, and then…I took the test. Got it confirmed at a clinic. I wanted to tell you, but—” Her voice breaks, and she shakes her head.
Levi finally speaks. His voice is steady, but soft. “Why didn’t you tell us before?”
Tears glitter in her eyes. “I was scared. I didn’t want to lose you all. I didn’t want you to think I was just using you. I—” She bites her lip, looking away.
I step forward, unsure what I’m supposed to do, what I even feel. “We’re not going anywhere,” I say, and even as I say it, I know it’s the truth. My heart is wrecked, but she’s still ours. She’s still Carrie. “I promise.”