16. Gideon
GIDEON
The wine sits between us. I poured it. She hasn’t touched it.
Bianca is at my kitchen island in jeans and a cream-colored sweater. She has been in my apartment for four minutes, with her elbow resting on the marble and her chin resting in her palm.
“Gideon,” she finally says. “Why did you ask me to come here?”
I rehearsed this conversation eleven times before she arrived.
I lay my hands flat on the marble. “My brothers and I share everything. We always have. So, I want to be straight with you. I know you and Ander have been spending time together. I know what happened at the motel with Theo last week. I know he came by your apartment last night.”
She doesn’t blink. “Okay.”
“I’m telling you so we can have an honest conversation.”
She lifts her chin off her palm. “Are you trying to fuck me too, Gideon?” Her head settles to one side. “Is that what this is?”
I cough, not expecting that response.
But she’s smiling, close to laughing. I can’t tell if she’s joking.
Something inside me goes dark at the thought that she’s not.
I shake my head, clearing that thought. Or maybe that fantasy. “No.”
She winks. “Hm. Not sure that I believe you.”
I close my eyes to gather my thoughts. I open them. The point of my asking her to come to my penthouse wasn’t to fuck her. It’s exactly the opposite.
“I need you to stay away from my brothers,” I blurt out.
She doesn’t move. Then she pulls the glass of wine toward her, turns it once on the marble, and pushes it away. “Tell them that.”
“They won’t listen.”
“Oh.” Her brows raise. “So, you think you have control over me?”
“No, of course not, Bianca.”
“It sounds like that’s exactly what you’re saying.” She leans back, waiting for me to explain myself.
“Fuck.” I push off the marble, pace once to the window, and return. “That came out wrong.”
“Then try again.”
The speech I had prepared is gone. My plan was to tell her to stay away for her own good, and I figured she’d listen and we’d all go our separate ways.
And knowing what I’ve already learned about her, I should’ve prepared for her to push back. She’s not like other people who encounter my family.
We don’t scare her. Our threats only make her stronger.
And threats don’t work.
So, here goes honesty.
“My father.” I exhale once. “He told Theo and me to keep Ander away from you. After the dinner you catered. He was very clear.”
“And you said yes?”
I nod. “I said yes.”
“You had no right to agree to that.” She reaches for her wine. “I’m getting a little tired of the men in your family trying to dictate my life and my future.”
“Bianca, be reasonable. They won’t stay away from you. And if you continue this, my father will find a way to punish them. Not you. Them. Theo before anyone. My father doesn’t allow Theo to fuck up.”
“Your brothers are grown men, Gideon. They can make their own choices.”
“We are family, Bianca. And family always comes first.”
“Interesting choice of words,” she says, not cruelly. “Are those your words, or your father’s?”
I stop breathing. I don’t answer. I can’t answer.
It’s true that I don’t want to become my father. But it’s more than that.
“I don’t want to miss details like he did.
” Rather than keep my thoughts to myself, I share what I’m thinking.
“I was nine when my mother got sick, and what I remember is my father not paying attention. He skipped appointments, went to work when she couldn’t get out of bed, and I always felt like he could have done more.
She would have died, regardless. Deep down, I know that. ”
Her eyes soften. “Oh, Gideon.”
“But his actions still affected me,” I continue. “So, I’m the one who catches the details and who never looks away. I care about my brothers more than anything, so I track everything, everyone, every need, before anyone has to ask.”
“Hey.” Her voice goes warmer. “You’re not him, Gideon. I wouldn’t have said it if I thought you were.”
“I regret it, you know.”
She doesn’t ask what I mean. She’s giving me a chance to speak.
“All of it.” I have been carrying this for months. “The supplier pressure. The inspections. The mice.”
She nods. “Listen, I appreciate that you’re trying to protect your brothers. And even though you won’t admit it, I think you’re trying to protect me, too.”
“I’ll admit it,” I say. “I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
Her hand reaches across the marble, and she puts it over mine. “You’re trying to protect them, Gideon. I see that. But you’re hurting yourself in the process. This isn’t who you are.”
Her phone buzzes with a notification. She ignores it.
I take a sip of my wine.
Then she continues. “After my mom died, I thought caring about a person meant they could destroy you. When the cancer finally took her, I thought I’d never recover. I built a whole life around being loved by everyone a little, so I would never have to lose someone a lot again.”
I can relate more than she knows.
Her thumb finds the inside of her wrist. “And now Ander makes me laugh. I smile more now than I have in two years. And even though Theo tried to ruin me, somehow, he’s turned into a man who makes me feel like I matter. I haven’t been this happy in years, Gideon. You don’t get to take that from me.”
The last thing I want to do is take her happiness. But whether she loses them now or later, the ending is the same. It will hurt a lot less if she lets them go now.
“You realize this can’t be forever.”
“Maybe not.” She shrugs. “But right now, I want it.”
She grabs her phone and looks at the notification she missed.
A smile spreads across her lips, and I know it’s a text from one of my brothers.
Then she looks back at me, and the smile fades.
That reaction makes me question everything. My brothers make her smile, and I am trying to take away what brings her joy.
“You’re not your father, Gideon.” She places her phone face down. “You’re trying to be. But is that what you really want?”
“No.” I don’t explain further.
She stands and walks over to me and wraps her arms around me. I’m still sitting, so our faces are at eye level. It is not a sexual thing. It is a comfort thing. I haven’t been on the receiving end of one of those in a long time. I don’t return the affection.
She pulls back and squeezes my arm. “Choose the life you want to live. Not the one your father has chosen for you.”
And with those words, she has completely derailed our entire conversation. What began as me inviting her over to ensure she stayed away from Theo and Ander, ended up with her changing how I feel about everything.
I don’t want my brothers to stay away from her. I don’t want to stay away from her.
Bianca Donovan is everything the three of us have been missing without knowing it.
Her phone buzzes on the marble again.
My eyes drop to the screen.
Ander.
She smiles again. “Ander invited me over. Theo is there, too.” She lifts her eyes. “You should come, Gideon.”
I want to say yes. My entire perspective on life just changed. “No.”
Her smile falters. She wants me to join them.
“Okay.”
She picks up her coat and puts it on. Then she picks up the glass of wine and drinks half of it.
“Then I guess we’re done here.” She stops at the elevator entrance. “Thanks for the wine.”
I nod. My whole body wants to tell her to wait, that I’ll join.
But I’m not ready.
The elevator chimes. She walks in, and then she disappears.
She is on her way to see my brothers. I’ll stay here, holding on to what it felt like to have her arms around me.
And maybe next time I’ll have the courage to say yes.