CHAPTER FOUR
Fyodor
My siblings can barely believe their ears when I tell them that I am getting married in a few weeks' time.
Leonid is the first to ask me how exactly it is that I am getting married to an absolute nobody.
He and my sister are both aware of how Natalia just walked out of my life, and they are having difficulty believing that I’m getting married this quickly.
While, to the best of my abilities, I have tried to keep them out of my life, they still know what I do for a living.
I explain that my fiancée is the daughter of the Texan Bratva patriarch, and it will be a good opportunity for us to strengthen our relationship with them since she is already pregnant with my child.
“I really don't have much to say about what happens, as you know, guys.” I look at Katya, who has been awfully quiet since I broke the news.
“But still, you can’t just get married to someone just because you got them pregnant. What happened to raising the child alone? Besides, I thought you loved Natalia?”
“Let’s not talk about Natalia.”
Everyone knows not to mention the name of the woman who left me heartbroken.
“The decision has been made. In two weeks, we will be getting married.”
Leonid, like always, takes the news quite well, but Katya, on the other hand, still has her reservations. The look in her eyes makes it clear that she had concerns. My little sister has always been the type who cares a lot about everyone, and she’s definitely concerned about my well-being.
Sadly, in this case, there is nothing I can do, as my fate is already sealed, even though Anastasia might hate me, and she might never forgive me for the rest of her life.
Which I guess is the price I have to pay for the rest of my life too.
After all, I am responsible for putting her in this situation.
If only I took adequate measures that night.
Regret is simply regret, and there’s no changing what has happened. The only thing I can look forward to now is my new life with her.
Ivan and Dimitri have been talking about what will become of my new role in the organization now that I am connected to Matteo Federov.
Ivan thinks that I shouldn’t be hanging around Dimitri as his bodyguard, though we both have different opinions.
But earlier, Dimitri and I discussed how my engagement with Anastasia will change a lot of things in our hierarchy.
So far, his brother, Gregor, has been playing it cool, but it’s only a matter of time before he makes a move, since my connection with Matteo puts him at a disadvantage. His fear of Dimitri becoming too powerful for him to handle won’t allow him sit on the sidelines for too long.
Of course, Dimitri isn’t interested in going for their father’s throne. To him, he believes that his older brother, Alexi, is the right person to take over from their father. Gregor, however, thinks otherwise, believing that he should be the one.
I support Dimitri’s decision in Alexi taking over, but Gregor will never let that happen, and I can only imagine how this whole situation has riled him up.
But thinking about what the future holds is not something I want to deliberate on; not when I’m busy trying to get ready for my wedding that is scheduled to occur in a matter of days.
“See how good you look in a tuxedo?” Dimitri comments as the tailor helps me adjust my clothes.
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I retort as I look at myself in the mirror.
This is not how I imagined my preparation for my wedding would be. For so long, I dreamed about getting married to Natalia. Her decision to end things cost me that dream.
I shake my head, wanting to put those thoughts entirely behind me.
“Have you seen your bride recently?” Dimitri questions, and I shake my head.
So far, Anastasia has been lashing out, and to some extent, I understand. Getting married to a man of my age must be hard on her. After all, what do I have to offer her? I let out a heavy sigh before telling him that I am not sure exactly how to deal with her.
Dimitri surprisingly offers some advice on how to get her to see me as a friend and not an enemy. “Trust me, you just need to let her know that you are on her side. Besides, it will take a while for her to get used to the idea of being married to you.”
Yeah, I guess he’s right about that, but what if she doesn’t? What if she just can’t bring herself to truly settle down with me?
“In a matter of a few months or so, she will come around to see the kind of man you really are.” Dimitri slaps me on the shoulder; his encouragement means a lot to me.
Anastasia might never see me that way, but all hope isn’t lost yet. Although, with the wedding quickly approaching, I can’t help but feel like everything is moving too fast.
“Oh, I should get you a good gift. Now that you’re getting married, you’ll need to provide for your family.”
Matteo mentioned something like that, stating that he already acquired a mansion for the both of us.
The idea that Anastasia and I would be living together has yet to sink into my head.
Matteo also mentioned that we will be getting staff, and I can tell that he’s sparing no expense to ensure our comfort. At least that of his daughter, anyway.
Another thing he made clear is that the wedding will be held in Texas. Only a few guests from both sides will be in attendance, and from my side, my brother and sister will be my only blood relatives. Matteo mentioned that he’s looking forward to meeting my siblings.
I have some concern, though. How will he react when he meets Katya, who is just three years older than Anastasia? Surely, he will have some sort of reaction, and I dread what that will be. Ivan, Dimitri, and Alexi will also be present, as well as a few other important people on both sides.
This is more than a marriage. It is, in a way, the union between both organizations, and Ivan and Matteo are already acting like close friends. The two of them are talking about how this will change everything.
One thing no one is really paying attention to is the bride, who just doesn’t want to be in the same room with me.
I can still remember her reaction when I went to pay her a visit.
Her friend, Marina, apologized for her behavior the next day.
In her words, Anastasia is lashing out because everything is moving too fast for her.
That isn’t the only problem, though, as she also mentioned something about how she needs to let go of a few things.
I’m no fool, and I know for a fact that a woman like Anastasia must have someone in her life.
I took that away from her as well, and when I mentioned it to Dimitri, he told me that I shouldn’t dwell too much on it.
Everything that is happening wasn’t intentional, and as much as I love to agree with him, that would only mean I am deflecting the blame.
At the moment, the only thing I am sure of is that I will work to make it up to her, maybe for the rest of my life.
That is what I have to pay for destroying a life.
* * *
Matteo rented a small chapel.
The priest is standing beside me as Anastasia walks down the aisle.
Maybe it is the sunlight, or maybe it is the beauty of the church.
I really don't know which it is, but Anastasia looks even more beautiful than before. A soft, classy melody fills the chapel, coupled with Matteo and Anastasia’s steps, seeming to add to the magic.
Anyone can tell how proud and delighted Matteo is; he has a bright smile on his face as he walks Anastasia toward us. Anastasia, on the other hand, has her face hidden by her veil, and I can’t help but wonder what look she has on her face. She is probably wearing a frown—or worse, she’s crying.
Natalia would be smiling if she were the one walking toward me.
There’s no use crying over spilled milk, and while I might have dreamed of Natalia, Anastasia is the one who is getting married to me today. I reach out my hand as Matteo and Anastasia arrive at the bottom of the stairs, and Matteo carefully places Anastasia's hand in mine.
“This is my daughter. I trust you to look after her.”
A nod from me, and Matteo goes to his seat as Anastasia and I turn to face the priest. We both read our vows in front of everyone, my voice filling the chapel while Anastasia’s voice barely reaches my ears.
There are a lot of things we both need to talk out, and I am hopeful that we will get the chance tonight.
Matteo booked a hotel room for the two of us, insisting that we should enjoy our first night together.
I doubt Anastasia will want to sleep in the same room as me, but I couldn’t bring myself to point that out to Matteo.
I doubt I will be able to sleep on the same bed with her.
I have been reading up on pregnancy the past couple weeks, and it’s a bit overwhelming, but I know what I am supposed to do, considering she’s in her first trimester—or is it the second?
Fatherhood has always been something I looked forward to, but I always thought I would have time to plan.
Natalia and I always spoke about what it meant to be parents.
Funny how I will now be raising my child with a different woman.
The wedding vows end swiftly, and we move to the reception, where everyone is chatting.
Anastasia sits down beside me, her face pale, and I assume she just wants this to be over.
Katya and Anastasia have met, and I can't help but sense the awkwardness between the two of them.
Watching them interact makes me realize how I robbed Anastasia of her prime.
The two standing right next to each other is a harsh reminder of the fact that Katya is only three years older than Anastasia.
“I know you hate me.” I clear my throat before continuing in a whisper. “But this is the situation. I might not be the man you envisioned spending the rest of your life with, but one thing I can promise you is that I will make this up to you.”
Yes, I can swear on that. I have yet to sort out my feelings for Natalia, but that ship has already sailed, and I will devote everything I have to Anastasia and our child.
“Our child will never have to worry,” I promise her.
“Our children,” she corrects.
“I’m sorry, what?” I look at her, not sure if I heard her correctly.
“Twins. I am carrying twins.”
It feels as if someone has pulled the rug out from under my feet, and I grip the arm of my chair tightly as I process this new information. Not only did I just become a husband, but I’m also now going to be the father to two children.
I reach for the champagne and pour myself a full glass, which I drink in a single gulp. Nothing seems to be going according to plan, and the speech I prepared simply disappears as I try to think of what to say to her. But before I can say anything, she speaks again.
“I want you to know that this won’t be a loving marriage.
I don't love you, and I know you don’t love me.
” She isn’t lying, but when she puts it that way, it feels a bit hurtful.
However, Anastasia is bent on airing her mind.
“The only reason we are together is because my father wants to hide his shame.” She isn’t pulling any punches, and she drives home the fact that neither of us can afford to cross her father.
“We both got married for different reasons, and I want us to remember that.”
I almost want to tell her that doesn’t mean we should treat it like some sort of jail sentence, but I stop myself. Her mind sounds like it is pretty much made up, and I doubt there’s anything I can say to make her change it.