28. Piper
Piper
B lankets, blankets, and more blankets. That, and the thought of a scalding hot bath with lots and lots of bubbles, were my only defense against the storm of emotions swirling inside me.
Of all the things that the doctor could have told me was going on with my body, being pregnant was the last possibility on my mind.
After a year of trying with Pack Adamar, I hadn’t so much as been late for my period.
There was never any doubt that I had never once come close to being pregnant, and it had absolutely gutted me.
Up until this morning, I had been certain that I would never have my own children.
The adjustment of my expectations left me more than a little off-balance.
There was excitement too, of course. So many things had already been set in motion with my biting into Pack Blackwood.
The pack suite expansion, more dedicated play space for Maisie, and many more plans that the pack had only begun to dream up.
I thought of Maisie, of her little arms helping to cradle the baby.
How gentle she was with all her dolls and the animals on the farm, how lovingly she tended to them all.
I could almost see her, proud to show off her growing reading skills, giving grand performances of Pat the Bunny and Goodnight Moon to her future baby brother or sister.
Driven by nervous energy, I picked up a stack of pillows and moved them from one end of the room to the other.
Dumbly, I realized this must be the sixth or seventh time I’d moved the same darn stack of pillows, so I picked up a large fuzzy white blanket and wrapped myself in it so that only my face stuck out from the fleecy fur bundle as I waddled toward a pile of tufted pillows on the far end of the bed.
Still, it was a lot for me to assume on Maisie’s part.
The guys and I were still planning the details of how we were going to break the news of my bonding to Maisie—how exactly to explain that I was now a forever part of Pack Blackwood without overwhelming the little lamb.
Adding the announcement of a new baby on top of my addition to the family might make Maisie worry about where she fits in it all, which would be the last thing I wanted.
I wriggled out of my blanket cocoon, too antsy to stay still. I tossed the fuzzy blanket onto the small pile before I began laying pillows like brick in a circular pattern around the small mound of my hub of collected blankies.
Of course, there was also the matter of word of mouth in the small town of Sweetwater Springs. We had been doing our best to keep things relatively on the down-low with my hidden bonding bites and our distinct lack of PDA when out and about in town or in front of the other ranch hands.
Soon enough, there wouldn’t be any hiding what’s been going on here at Blackwood Ranch. I laid my hand fondly over my lower belly thoughtfully as I imagined becoming full, round, and glowing—like the moon.
Then it hit me again with a warm and comforting glow deep in my core—I was pregnant .
Something I had dreamed about and hoped for, cried myself to sleep over so many nights, and now it had finally happened with a wonderful pack.
No, my wonderful pack. We were bonded. We had made a vow to do this together, to do life together.
I felt them along the bond just a moment before they appeared in the doorway, Zeke elbowing his way past Clayton and the twins so he could get a good look at me.
“Hey, sunshine, you doing okay?” Montana asked sweetly.
“I’m—I’m just…” I stammered, not quite able to get the words out, my brain a wash of feelings and new body chemistry.
“You’re gonna be just fine, duchess,” Clay said, his arms welcoming me to him.
“She probably needs a little skin-to-skin time,” Dakota chimed in helpfully, he and Zeke racing to see who could get themselves out of their shirts first.
Montana helped me step out of my sundress as Clay helped pull Zeke’s shirt over my head, the worn red cotton swimming on me in pools of soft fabric.
Fuzzy-brained, I climbed into the pile of pillows and blankets, nestling myself between Zeke and Kota. Their juicy prickly pear and cool fresh rain scents washed over me, calming me as I lay my head against Dakota’s chest, Zeke pressed against my back, gently stroking my hair.
Slowly, my heart rate decreased, my breathing evened, and my loud, racing thoughts began to quiet and still.
As Clay and Montana crawled their way into the pillows and blankets, my arms stretched out to them, even if I couldn’t form the words.
“It’s all right, everything is gonna be all right,” Clay comforted me as he scooped me up in his arms and pulled me across the gulf of pillows and blankets so that my head rested in his lap, my legs stretched over Dakota’s. “You just take a little while to have a breather, duchess—we got you.”
It was so peaceful lying there like that, Clay running his fingers through my hair and tracing the occasional thumb over my worried brow, and Montana gently stroking my knee.
Both of them taking turns lovingly laying a hand over my belly.
I drifted off to sleep for a few minutes, allowing my frazzled nerves a break.
When my eyes fluttered open, my pack gathered around me, and I felt much more clearheaded, like I finally had found the words I’d needed to say.
“Hey there, pretty girl.” Dakota smiled, scooting in closer as I sat up between Clay and Montana.
“How was your little nap?” Zeke beamed, reaching forward to pinch a bit of my sleeve—his T-shirt—giving it an affectionate tug before he leaned in to peck my lips.
“Much needed.” I yawned and stretched, raking my fingers through my hair before I sat back and appreciated a good look at my pack.
“I’m sorry I got so overwhelmed back there,” I sighed, drawing my knees up to my chest as I gathered my strength to explain myself.
“But you have to understand,” I began, swallowing hard. “The pack I had been courting—they desperately wanted heirs to their businesses. Their fortunes. I mean, how could you blame them?” I explained as my hands moved widely in time with my words as my nerves built once again.
“I certainly didn’t, and I wanted to be a mother so badly. I was eager to start a family as soon as possible. So, we all agreed that I would go off my birth control, and we’d start trying,” I continued, tears welling in my eyes as I prepared myself to say the words.
“We had been trying for a year when I caught them cheating on me. Not once in all that time of trying did we have any luck getting pregnant—and believe me, we tried.”
I could see the grit of Clay’s teeth when I mentioned “trying” with Pack Adamar. I didn’t need to elaborate about the nature of my attempts with Lance or the others any further.
“When I came to Blackwood Ranch, I was all but certain that I would never have a child of my own.” I blinked away a tear or two, pressing on as my chest filled with the warmth of joy.
“It’s one of the reasons I love Maisie so much, that I cared for her right away. I recognized in her the beautiful daughter I never thought I’d have, that I had always desperately wanted.” I smiled through my tears.
“Only goes to show, you were never the problem, sunshine,” Montana crooned, cupping one of my cheeks in his hand. I let myself reach up to place my hand over his, and he brought my hand to his face, pressing his lips to my knuckles in a gentle kiss.
“Monty’s right, proof is in that bun in the oven,” Dakota added pridefully.
“A snoozy year with those good-for-nothin’ city boys, but after a couple of months with us, BAM!” Zeke grinned like a madman, proudly rubbing the flat of his giant palm over my belly. “There was a problem, but it ain’t you—that’s for sure, Pipes.”
I couldn’t help the smirk that crept across my face.
“But what about Maisie?” I lay one hand over my heart, one over Zeke’s hand on my belly.
“Everyone’s been saying it; she’s going to be a good big sister.
” Clay spoke slowly and clearly. “And she’s going to love having you as part of the pack—as her mother.
We all agreed on that. We knew it when we decided to bite you in.
” Clay delicately caressed the bite marks he’d left at my throat. “Of course Maisie’s gonna be okay.”
“You promise?” My lower lip wobbled as I looked into Clay’s warm hazel eyes.
“I promise. Me and the boys are gonna help get you comfortable, and then we can figure out how to share the news, okay?” he soothed, tucking a lock of my hair back from my face, behind my ear.
I was about to launch myself into Clay’s arms, when suddenly, the patter of tiny feet sounded from down the hall. Maisie was flying down the hall, undoubtedly looking for all of us after waking from her own nap.
“Found you!” Maisie squealed with delight as soon as she appeared in the doorway to the makeshift nest, her pink pony princess doll tucked under her arm.
“You found us! Good job!” I shouted happily, patting a place in the pillows beside me.
Maisie wasted no time, running for the bed, stretching her arms out like an airplane, and mimicking the sounds she’d heard Zeke make when he zoomed her through the air.
“Maisie Rae—landing now!” She giggled as she launched herself into the tangle of blankets, pillows, and parents.
All of us laughed as she flopped down, wriggling underneath a pale green blanket until she appeared from beneath the sage covering of fuzz between Clay and me.
“I want meatballs and sketti for dinner again,” she announced her request for dinner, à propos of nothing, as four-year-olds so often do.
“Is that so?” Clayton raised his brows, surprised by Maisie’s interest in this new food.
“Yes.” Maisie nodded before adding, “Please!”
All at once, I was overwhelmed by my affection for her. Scooping her up into my arms, I kissed the crown of her head.
“Of course, Maisie Rae—we can have spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, especially since you asked so nicely . If you like, you can even help me make the garlic bread!”
The smile on her little face really did let me know that everything was going to be even better than okay.