Eighteen
Raina
Later that night, muscles aching and mind weary, Liam led me back to the guest house. The wandering thought of what Blómhaus might look like, where it might be located, was shot down as soon as it took flight.
We stopped by his room to grab some of his things, then went up the stairs. The corridor was quiet as we entered. The only sound was our synchronized footsteps.
I wondered if Brahm realized the tizzy his orders would put me in. Liam didn’t seem fazed in the least.
"Go ahead," Liam said, nodding toward the bathroom. "I'll wait right outside the door."
I almost made a joke about it being too far away but then I realized he didn’t intend to close the door.
“I have to pee.”
“I’m not stopping you.”
Though we’d been intimate, we’d never reached that level of intimacy. Was it even a level of closeness or just some part of the fae condition you either were okay with or weirded out by?
“Raina?”
“Yes. Sorry.” I turned on the shower to hide the noise of doing my business on the toilet.
Yes, definitely weird.
Glancing at the door, where he stood with his back to me, I quickly undressed and slipped into the stall. The water cascaded down, washing away the grime and sweat, and soothing my muscles.
I finished as quickly as I could and traded places with him, passing close to his body in the robe he’d removed from me just last night. It felt like weeks had gone by.
“Don’t leave the doorway,” he said from behind me.
“I know.”
“I put your nightgown and panties on the table next to you.”
He’d picked out my underwear? Don’t go there, Raina. He’s doing his job.
Yeah, but he wants more than to just do his job, an inner voice snapped back. I didn’t argue with myself. I wanted more, too. I just wasn’t ready to say it aloud.
By the time I was dressed, he was out of the shower and telling me it was safe to turn around. I laughed nervously, then crawled under the covers.
Restless, I stared at the ceiling above as Liam went around and extinguished the fae lanterns and candles. He left the curtains partly open, allowing just enough moonlight for me to see his silhouette.
The sheets were cool against my skin, a small comfort compared to the heat that seemed to radiate from Liam's body as he soon joined me, maintaining a foot of distance like a tangible barrier.
"Do you still want to know about Blómhaus?" he asked, hesitant yet probing.
I turned to face him. "Only if you're willing to share.”
Liam shifted, tucking his hands behind his head. "I built it because I wanted us to have something that was just ours. Away from Thornewood and its obligations. A place where you wouldn't feel tethered to the castle."
His words began painting a picture in my mind of a life that had been within reach.
"I wanted you to have somewhere to go, somewhere that wasn’t Snowfall, away from all your parents’ bullshit," he continued, his voice laced with a yearning that resonated deep within me, "where you knew my family would always be there for you. To help with anything you needed in the event I couldn’t get away from my duties. Or worse."
I swallowed hard, feeling the old ache in my chest stir. He had attempted to craft a future for me. For us.
"Thank you," I whispered, the words thick in my throat. "For wanting to give that to me."
His elbows lifted like he was shrugging. “When we would have been ready to create life, I thought I might offer to move us into Blómhaus to raise our family away from royal life.”
“Wh-what?” I stuttered. “You would have left Nox?”
“I think I would have done anything you asked of me.”
Hearing that hurt. Gods, how it hurt!
Behind my eyes, my life was playing on repeat at the speed of light. Then a memory niggled.
“You built Blómhaus after … everything happened?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“The plans had already been done so I went ahead with it. It was almost a compulsion. Some part of me held onto the idea that you would forsake your family and come running back, that in the end, no matter what, we would be together.”
Before my throat constricted further, I told him, “I’m sorry.”
Liam rolled to his side, now facing me. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, too. Sorry for my behavior. My words. Every wound I inflicted.”
Old hurts and despair bubbled up to the surface, remembering the terrible things he'd flung in my face. My eyes burned and I took a shuddering breath.
“I have to say something to you, Liam. If I don’t, I don’t think I’ll ever get past it.”
“Then please say it.”
“I never acted against you. I didn't go out of my way to hurt you as you did to me. The thought never even entered my mind. I actually considered abandoning them and running back to you. Then after … after the Lunar Ball, I believed there was no hope. You were already moving on to other females while I couldn’t stand the thought of someone else touching me. I thought I must have been mistaken about your feelings.”
“Raina—”
“Please let me finish.”
His exhale was a long enough pause for me to continue.
“But the thing that showed your true animosity, was when you accused me of being an opportunist and having involvement in my parents machinations.”
Unable to hold them back, the tears spilled down my face.
"I know," he whispered. “I was lost in my own pain, not just at losing you but the thought you didn’t want me enough to even try. When your parents reached out to my father to discuss termination, they led him to believe you were the one who wanted out.”
“That’s not true. They didn’t even tell me until after it was done.” If I didn’t loathe them before, I definitely did now.
“I know that now. At the time, however, I allowed my grief and resentment to rule my conduct. I acted rashly and I am so very sorry for it. There's no excuse I can give you to make any of it right. There is no apology that can erase it.”
Gently, so gently, his warm hand cupped my face and his thumb wiped my tears.
“Then how do we get past it?” I feared I never would.
He was silent a moment, then, “I could let you skewer me with your spear. In multiple places. That might make you feel better.”
“Liam—”
“Or, you could lock me in a room with Mirrelle and Gunnar for a week. I’m not sure there’s a worse torture at this point.”
This time I gave a small laugh. Then a yawn.
Liam leaned forward and brushed his lips to mine. “You need sleep, flower.”
“But—”
“Shh. We have time. I’ll be right beside you all night and for the foreseeable future.”
“Okay.”
Liam slapped my hip playfully. “Now turn over and get some rest. I know you prefer to sleep on your other side.”
I huffed and rolled over, tempted to scoot back and snuggle up against him. Instead, I closed my eyes and curled into a ball like I used to when I was young.
“Goodnight, flower.”
“Goodnight, Liam.”
I couldn’t believe I’d had the opportunity to confront him and it didn’t turn into some aggrieved argument over who’d been wronged the most. In fact, Liam seemed to want to shoulder the blame.
He had much to shoulder, but I’d done nothing to keep us together, to even make him feel like I wanted to stay with him.
A sea of unsaid things stretched between us, though we were only inches apart. Instead of feeling like it would be an insurmountable task to cross it, I actually felt that spark of hope grow, the light stretching and reaching for the dark parts inside me.
It was with that comforting thought I found myself in the land of dreams—and gods it was delicious.
Lamentably, dawn hadn't even kissed the sky when I began stirring, forcing me out of the fantasies my mind had created in my sleep. My senses registered an unfamiliar warmth up and down the front of my body.
My limbs had found their way to Liam in the night, wrapping around him. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm against my cheek, his breath a soft cadence in the quiet room.
My leg was draped over his hips and I could feel him, hard and insistent, pressing against my inner thigh. In the groggy haze of waking, I forgot the reasons we should keep distance between us.
Later, I could blame it on the wicked dreams where I’d been taken with wild abandon. But for now, I simply wanted to soothe the throbbing ache in my core.
Instinctively, my hips shifted, sliding until heat met heat. I nipped at the skin of his neck, a primal, sleepy action that sent ripples of desire through my veins.
"Damn it, Raina," Liam grumbled, the curse muffled by sleep and surprise. His hands found my hips, grip firm, trying to still the rocking motion I hadn't realized I'd started.
"Flower, I'm not sure you're awake enough to consent to the fucking your body is begging for."
But with the remains of dreams still clinging to my mind, I felt daring. The need coursing through me drowned out the cautionary whispers that usually guided my actions.
Grinding down against him once more, I allowed myself to savor the friction, the pulse of want that followed. My panties were already soaked.
Liam issued another warning, his voice rougher now, threaded with restraint that seemed as frayed as my own. When I responded with a bite to his pectoral, just hard enough to tease, to test, he swore again. This time a low growl vibrated from deep within his chest.
"Raina," he hissed, and though his words were a reprimand, they came out as a husky plea that spoke straight to my core.
Before I knew it, the world had flipped, and I was staring up at the male. My nightgown was a mere whisper of silk against my skin, rucked up to expose the pale expanse of my belly. The heat from his body seared through the thin fabric separating us.
"You're playing with fire, frost nymph," he murmured, his voice low and rough with warning.
"Then burn me," I goaded, breathless, the words slipping out like a dare.
Liam's eyes searched mine, a tempest of red-brown churning with desire and something else. Hesitation? Regret?
It was a look that pierced through the haze of our physical need, reminding me of the fragile bridge we were attempting to cross back to each other.
"Please don't tease me, flower," he implored, his voice strained as if each word was a weight he could barely lift. "I'm not going to fuck you. Not unless you're ready to give me everything."
The molten heat between my legs flared at his refusal, my body crying out for him in ways that words couldn't capture. My breasts ached, the nipples tightening into hard points, longing for a touch, a caress, anything.
I was always so careful, so controlled, but now? Now I wanted to reach out and snatch what my body screamed for.
Yet, even amidst the flames licking at my reason, part of me clung to the last shreds of restraint. I wasn't ready to give Liam the words he wanted.
Our breaths mingled as we hovered on the edge of something irreversible.
With a boldness that the old Raina would never have recognized, I slid my hand down the flat plane of Liam's abdomen. The heat from his skin seared, compelling me forward until my fingers dipped beneath the waistband of his underwear.
My touch found him hard and pulsing. My thumb ran over the tip and I watched the muscles in his jaw flex.
"Are you willing to consider … other things?" I asked, my voice low and husky. "Friendly things. Very friendly things."
I tightened my grip on his shaft, drawing a pained groan from deep within his chest.
"Gods," he gasped out, the sound half-moan, half-plea, "you're going to kill me."
For a moment, fear flickered inside me, the worry that he might push me away. But then his arms encircled me with a ferocity that banished any thoughts of rejection.
His hands roamed over my body with a possessive urgency, stripping away the flimsy barrier of my clothes until I lay bare before him. His mouth descended upon mine, a kiss that was both punishment and absolution, every brush of his lips igniting a blaze that threatened to consume us both.
Liam’s mouth trailed a path of fiery kisses down my neck, across my collarbone. I had to abandon his cock as his hips moved down the bed.
When he reached the peaks of my breasts, his tongue circled around the hardened tips, eliciting a sharp intake of breath as pleasure convulsed through me. His hot breath against my skin was both torture and delight.
"Please," I whispered, my fingers threading through his wavy hair, guiding him lower.
He obeyed with a predatory grace, nipping and biting all the way down. My hips tried to lift but he had me pinned down, only able to clutch at his hair.
When he finally settled between my thighs, the world narrowed to the point of his tongue as it danced and flicked. Each movement was meticulous, calculated to draw forth the storm brewing within me.
"More," was all I could manage.
He didn't need further urging. The intensity of his ministrations increased, his tongue delving deeper and then his fingers, until I was a writhing mass of desire beneath him.
Liam's hands moved to cup my backside, gripping tightly as he devoured me with an eagerness that sent sparks of electricity shooting through my body. My fingers dug into the sheets, trying to find some semblance of control as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me.
My back arched off the bed and I cried out his name as my body convulsed in ecstasy, every muscle tensing and releasing as I rode out the waves of pleasure.
When the aftershocks finally subsided, Liam crawled up my body with a possessive determination. His hands were rough against my skin as he pulled me into a searing kiss that left me breathless all over again.
Tasting myself on his lips, I felt a primal urge surge within me.
With a swift movement that would've made my sparring instructor proud, I flipped Liam onto his back. His eyes widened, a mix of surprise and delight sparkling in their depths as he landed with an oomph.
"Seems like I'm not the only one who can take control," he said, his voice laced with admiration and something darker, more urgent.
I couldn't help but smirk, feeling empowered by my own audacity. It had never been like this between us.
Or, at least, I had never been like this. I’d always been content to let him lead, not having the confidence or experience.
Positioning myself between his thighs, I leaned down and took him into my mouth. His hands immediately found their way to my hair, fisting the white strands gently at first then more firmly as pleasure built within him.
"Gods, Raina. Your mouth …" he groaned, his words dissolving into guttural sounds of appreciation.
I worked him with an eager determination, exploring him with my tongue, drawing him deeper, to the back of my throat. The salty taste of his skin and the heady scent of our mingled arousal filled my senses, driving me to bring him the same intense pleasure he'd bestowed upon me moments ago.
"Such a wicked mouth for such a quiet little nymph," he teased through ragged breaths, his hips bucking slightly to meet my movements.
"Is this how you want to drive me mad, flower? Because it's working."
His body tensed, every muscle coiled like a bowstring as he neared the edge. I doubled my efforts, hollowing my cheeks and taking him as deep as I could.
With a strangled cry, his grip on my hair tightened, and he spilled into my mouth, waves of his climax crashing over him as he murmured praises mixed with curses.
Before I could even catch my breath, Liam sat up and swept me into his arms, striding toward the bathroom with renewed vigor.
"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice still hoarse from exertion.
"We're going to do that again," he said, his voice husky, "in the shower."
I raised an eyebrow, a shiver running down my spine at the prospect. "And why is that?"
"Because if Gunnar smells how aroused you are," Liam said with a wry smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "I'll have to kill him."
Humor mixed with the tension from moments before, and I realized I wasn’t sure if he was actually joking.
With the taste of Liam still lingering on my tongue, we entered the war room which was carved into one of the hills next to the armory. Brahm's voice rumbled like distant thunder, recounting the patrols' lackluster findings.
Gunnar leaned against a stone wall, arms crossed, his expression unreadable. Mirrelle stood tall in her fighting leathers, no signs of her prior injuries in sight.
"Nothing new then?" Liam asked.
"Scouts are still out," Brahm answered gruffly. “But the changes to the wards you requested are complete.”
Brahm eyed Liam. “Are you sure this is what you want? To trap them here? You brought Raina here for protection.”
“Killing as many as we can will help protect her.”
“I understand. The only other thing I can offer is to lock her in the mines until it’s over.”
“I’d rather not,” I said drolly.
Liam looked like he was considering it.
“Liam, we discussed this.”
He looked down at me. “I know, flower. I won’t renege. But you can hardly blame me for wanting to lock you in a place where nothing can hurt you.”
Embarrassed in front of this audience, I looked away.
“I’m going to see if more scouts have returned. Stay here.” Brahm rose from the table and disappeared from sight.
“Here, sit and rest while you can,” Liam suggested, taking my hand and tugging me towards the table.
He pulled out a chair and took a seat. He pushed it in but remained behind me, hands on the back of the chair.
I felt eyes on me and turned to find Mirrelle's gaze sharp as icicles. She'd always been perceptive, and now she studied Liam and me with a predator’s focus, seeing through the facade of our forced closeness.
"Something's changed between you two," she accused without preamble, her tone biting. "I can practically smell it."
Liam shifted uncomfortably. "Mirrelle," he warned.
"Shut it, Liam," she snapped, jabbing a finger at him.
Then her blue eyes locked onto mine. "And you. You of all people should know better. You're playing a dangerous game with someone who's repeatedly hurt you."
Her words stung. "Please don’t, Mirrelle," I said quietly, steel underlying my calm facade. "I know what I'm doing."
"Do you?" she retorted, but her gaze softened just enough to let me know her concern was born from protection, not malice.
"Mind your own fucking business, for once.” Gunnar's voice thundered like a storm about to break, echoing off the stone walls of the chamber.
"Excuse me?" Her reply was as sharp as the daggers she wore at her hips.
The two of them squared off, and it was like watching two feral creatures poised to strike.
"They’re adults. Your opinion means shit."
Gunnar's frustration boiled over, his broad chest expanding. "Who wants to play it safe all the time? To never allow the chance of having your heart ripped out of your chest? If they want to go down in a ball of flames, that’s their prerogative.”
I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. Beside me, Liam stiffened.
"Ball of flames?" Mirrelle scoffed, tossing her head back, her long ponytail swishing. "That's a gentle way to put the disaster you're inviting."
The room seemed to shrink. Gunnar's face had turned a ruddy shade of anger, Mirrelle's hands were planted on her hips like she was ready for battle.
I felt the weight of Mirrelle's words, the fear that maybe I was indeed complicating things. The morning's indiscretion with Liam, which had seemed so rebellious, so daring, now curdled within me like sour milk.
Had I been foolish to give in to such primal whims?
Liam's eyes flicked to mine, searching, but I had nothing to offer. His face shut down and I turned to stare at the table.
They were still going at one another when Liam barked, “Either go fuck it out of your systems or shut your mouths. Your message was received, now give us some peace.”
Both Gunnar and Mirrelle were fuming and I wondered if something else had happened to put them on edge. The tension didn't dissipate, but at least they were quiet.
"Gods help me," Brahm's voice echoed from the entrance as he came barging in.
"I was gone for less than ten minutes. You couldn’t hold your shit together for ten minutes?”
We froze, chastised younglings under the scrutinizing gaze of a disappointed parent.
“We’re not even talking,” Gunnar argued.
“You think I couldn’t hear you from halfway up the hill?”
Brahm threw some papers onto the table. "Listen and listen well. You will cease this behavior immediately. Gunnar, I have never seen you behave like this. You might want to take time to think about why you’ve allowed her so far under your skin you can’t function. And in such a short period of time."
He glared at each of us in turn, his eyes finally resting on Mirrelle.
"And you, little dragoness," Brahm's voice softened marginally, "you’re well aware of how far you’ve burrowed. Either release your claws or give in and put my son out of his misery.”
His words weren’t directed at me, but they may as well have been. I found myself seeking Liam’s eyes. Dark oranges whirled with power.
If I’d been alone with him, I suspected his berserker would have taken over and bent me over the table. Shit, now they would all pick up on my arousal.
Think of something else! Garbage. Old fetid wounds smelling of rot. Wait—I didn’t think I knew what that smelled like. Think!
Only, I couldn’t. So I did the only thing I knew with certainty would work. I pulled a dagger and drew blood from my forearm.
Not deep, but enough to burn. There. That was better.
When I sheathed the blade, I caught Liam rubbing his bottom lip with the tip of his finger. I looked away before I was forced to start stabbing myself. Everywhere.
I’d missed whatever else had been said so I sought Mirrelle. Of course she wasn’t rattled, having taken a seat and paying close attention to the Drótinn.
"We will," Liam said, his voice a low rumble of acquiescence.
"Good. You have one hour," Brahm nodded once, sharp and commanding, before turning on his heel and striding out for the second time.
Damn it. I had no idea what was happening. “One hour for what?” I asked the room.
“Come on,” Liam motioned toward the corridor with a tilt of his head.
I rose and his hand found mine. Worriedly, I looked over my shoulder at my friend who was no longer sitting.
Her tall frame and curves were blocked by the wide shape of a berserker stalking her into the wall behind her. The Duersians seemed to have a thing for walls.
Liam took me into a dimly lit passage that offered a semblance of privacy. We stopped in the shelter of a shadowed alcove.
"That was messed up," he said.
“Well, I missed whatever Brahm said before he left.”
“I know,” Liam grinned.
Watching my face, he brought my hand up between us and placed a kiss to the already healing scratch I’d given myself. When his tongue touched it, I shivered.
Then his nose dipped to the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply. “It was an admirable effort, flower, but I already knew.”
“Well, I tried.”
Liam chuckled, nipping my earlobe.
“We can’t,” I protested, placing my palms on his chest but not pushing him away.
“I wasn’t planning on it. Not here.”
“Then what are we doing here?”
“The Drótinn gave a direct order to his heir.”
“Which was?”
“To, and I quote, Decide within the hour or I’m locking you and the blood fae in one of the mine shafts for a week. It wasn't an empty threat. He made arrangements.”
“Wow.”
“Yes. Wow. Now they have an hour and we’ve been kicked out of the room we need.”
My head turned in the direction of the war room. “You don’t think they’ll, you know, not in there, surely?”
“Who fucking knows. I would be balls deep in you by now if it were us.”
The earnestness in his gaze struck a chord within me, one that resonated with the memory of morning light tangled in sheets, skin on skin, and whispers of pleasure.
“Do we just stand here or should we go somewhere else? Like Brahm’s study?”
A noise drew Liam upright. Footsteps and an indignant screech drew closer.
Gunnar stepped past, scarcely sparing us a glance. He was too busy holding onto the female he had slung over his shoulder.
“Where are you going?” I demanded.
“To fuck my intended in private,” he stated flatly.
Liam barked out a deep laugh.
Mirrelle’s torso rose off his back, off kilter, fire in her eyes. “I am not your fucking intended!”
“That’s just because we aren’t fucking yet.”
They blew past and I was about to go after them when the alarms sounded. Gunnar froze, turning back to Liam.
Mirrelle tapped his side. “Put me down, handsome.”
Gunnar didn’t react other than giving her ass a little squeeze before setting her on her feet.
“Everyone armed?” he asked, checking Mirrelle’s front and back, then patting down her legs, earning him a wry look from the female.
Liam grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into his body. “Arms-length, Raina. Promise me.”
Nodding against his chest, I hugged him hard. My cheek pressed into the leather straps of his holsters and scabbards. Gunnar hadn’t noticed Liam’s weaponry might have been overkill today.
I supposed we were about to find out.