Chapter 18 #3
She nearly said it then. “No” was on the tip of her tongue.
It was too much, too soon, and she didn’t need more oral.
She wanted him inside her, but he was gentle as he worked her, never pushing her quite to that place.
He eased off to let her catch her breath, then swooped back in when she began to gather her wits.
Each moment became a rolling orgasm of yes. Of Hank. Of pleasure so intense she wanted it to end as much as she hoped it went on forever. Until she couldn’t catch her breath and her belly hurt from the tension. She pulled upward, grabbing his head and forcing him to look at her.
“Enough,” she gasped. “Enough.”
He nodded, his eyes dazed, but he didn’t move.
She levered herself downward. She tugged on his arms, she twisted beneath him. She did everything she could to get him on top of her so he could finally fill her like she wanted.
He refused to budge. He pushed himself upright. She managed to tug on his chest and press a kiss to his nose and eventually his mouth, but he would not go further.
“Hank!” she cried. “Please!”
His face was pulled tight with strain and his grip on her hips held at the edge of pain.
“Hank?”
“Do you remember when Peter kissed Abby?” he asked.
What? She didn’t want to think about anyone but him right then, but he persisted.
“She’d gone back to being human and he could see her. He knew what she was. She was afraid of how he would react, but all I saw was love in his eyes. Love as he kissed her. Love as he held his wife and his child.”
Cecilia nodded. Of course, she remembered.
The scene had been so beautiful it had hurt deep inside in a good way.
The place where all her cynicism rested had cracked, and the effect had been so powerful that she’d pretended to look away.
She’d ducked her head to her tablet when her gaze had really been on them.
“I want that, Cecilia. I want to love my wife like that, to cherish my child no matter what.”
“Of course, you will.”
He shook his head. “I’m not saying this right.” He took a breath, his chest expanding even as his hands left her body to curl tight to his chest. “She loved him, too, Cecilia. All three of them, together. Such love. A real family.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“I want that, Cecilia. With everything I am, I want that.”
There was hunger in his eyes. A need that pervaded every cell in his body. And she felt his hunger echo inside her, an ache for a love that made three people stand strong in the face of staggering change.
“I want that, too,” she echoed. Then she tried to lift his face to hers so she could kiss him. So she could offer him everything they both wanted, but he shook his head.
“I want that, Cecilia, but I won’t ever have it unless you choose me. You have to choose me freely.”
She straightened. “I do choose you.”
He sucked in a breath, the gasp loud and harsh. “I’m trying to think rationally here. Is this normal for you? To feel this way after a day? A half hour ago, you thought you had a brain tumor.”
“You said I’m not magical. You said I have a choice.”
“You do.” He rocked back on his heels. “But you’re exhausted and the entire world has changed for you. Maybe this is a stress reaction.”
Now she was getting angry. Yeah, sure, she’d been thinking all those things as well. Every single one had filtered through her thoughts on the drive over here. But damn it, she knew all those possibilities and she was choosing him anyway. She wanted this. Right now. No regret.
“I want you,” she said firmly, and she watched his entire body ripple in reaction. Like he needed to go to her right then, but his mind was keeping him back. “You don’t believe me. Why don’t you think I could choose you?”
She watched him react to her words. The motions were subtle, but she was watching him closely. His eyes widened, and his breath held for a moment before he released it slowly. And when he spoke, it was with a quiet pain.
“How can I be what you want? I’m not educated, not like you. You probably make ten times the money I do. And I’m half animal.”
“And you think that’s how I chose a man? By his academic credentials? His bank account? And as for being an animal, you can change into a bear, but you’re ten times the man of anyone I’ve ever met. You’re patient, you’re smart.”
“You can’t know that.”
She stopped long enough to really think about that. They’d been together for one day and it had been an eventful twenty-four hours. “I’ve seen you under pressure. That’s when the real man comes out.” She touched his forearm, stroking his smooth skin. “I do know. And I do choose you.”
“You need time,” he pressed. “To be sure it’s not a brain tumor.”
She grimaced, knowing that he was right. Everything was happening so fast. If she were honest, she’d admit that even though body felt sure, her mind wasn’t completely convinced. And then he had to hammer the last nail in her sex-fest fantasy.
“You won’t get that time if you’re pregnant.”
Gut punch. Sure, she was choosing him now, but she wasn’t calculating on a baby. The idea was ridiculous, except he clearly believed in the possibility. “A condom—”
“Will break.”
“You don’t know that.”
“What are the odds that all of Brittany’s records would corrupt like that?”
A trillion to one.
“Do not underestimate magic.”
She sighed. “I want a child.”
“I’m glad. Do you want to get pregnant right now, this very moment?”
Yes. No. Maybe. Hell, her rational mind said that was too big a decision to make so casually.
“Then help me give you the time to fall in love. Because if you’re pregnant with my child, I won’t leave your side. Ever.” He exhaled. “And we’ll never be a happy family like the Randolphs. We’ll never be like that because you never had the time to resolve all your doubts.”
She dropped backward, her gaze on the ceiling. Her body was sated and exhausted. Her mind even more so, yet she recognized an underlying emptiness in her womb. She wanted him inside her. She wanted his child.
Was that magic? Brain tumor? Or just plain biology?
“I want that kind of love, Cecilia. I want a family like theirs.”
“So do I.” She looked at him. “Maybe I want it with you.”
They both heard the “maybe” like it was uttered in an echo chamber. It repeated between them, exactly proving his point. She hadn’t committed to him yet. Not fully. And if she got pregnant, then that whole decision became more complicated.
She sighed and closed her eyes. Life was so strange. Twenty-four hours ago, none of this was even on the horizon.
“Are you still wondering if you have a brain tumor?” he asked.
Damn it, he was relentless! “I get it,” she huffed. “I haven’t locked in. Twenty-four hours is not enough time to make a lifelong commitment.” She opened her eyes to pin him with a frustrated glare. “Have you? Are you sure I’m the one?”
She watched him nod. No doubt. No hesitation.