28. Emil #4
“He’ll be dead in a few seconds,” I say to Fia, keeping my gaze averted from her.
Her silence forces me to look at her eventually.
“Fia?” I say, capturing her attention. Her eyes are fixated on Luka as he dies. The uneasiness of this all is making me feel sick. “We should get out of here.”
Fia registers me and my men outside, but she dismisses us all, lowering to her knees and retracting the knife from Luka’s head.
“Fia,” I warn.
Ignored, yet again.
I clench my jaw, watching her fingers curl around the knife. Her wrist trembles, guilt cutting through my chest as I’m reminded that she should not be here holding a knife of this size, kneeling over a dead body, exposed to such horrors.
I thought putting that ring on her finger would keep her protected, but it’s done quite the opposite. I’m traumatizing her more each day.
Fia is the sort of woman you should admire from afar, like artwork, appreciated but never touched.
“Fia—”
“You almost killed my unborn children,” says Fia, the blade fixated in her hand as she stares at Luka.
The trembling is now behind her as she kneels over Luka with purpose.
“Mess with Emil, mess with me,” she continues, “mess with the entire fucking universe for all I care. But if you mess with my children, you pay the price in blood.”
She stabs him repeatedly in the heart, blood squirting in every direction. Fia blinks through the mess, stabbing, spilling as much blood as humanly possible. The ends of her hair are dipped red, her clothes soaked through, and yet she keeps going, as though she’s operating on autopilot.
“Fia,” I say, rushing over, hooking my arms under her armpits and pulling her away.
She can turn around and kill me and I’d die a fucking happy man…
I turn around, locking eyes with her.
A single tear runs down her cheek, mixing with the blood. It will take more than one shower to scrub her clean. Perhaps the blood will never go away. It drips from her face, mixing with the cuts.
“We need to get you to the hospital,” I say. “Your open wounds could mix with the blood and?—”
“I don’t give a fuck,” she says, dropping the knife. “Can we please get out of here?”
I smooth a piece of hair away from my face, my heart breaking right down the middle. As Luka poetically said, life is a series of rising and falling, death the only absolute.
“Kill me,” I say, taking a step back, showing her my palms.
“What? Emil?—”
“Do it.”
Silence falls between us, my men outside gathering around, watching.
“Pakhan,” interjects one of them. “Are you sure?—?”
“I never wanted them to kill me, Fia. I am untouchable to enemies, to the laws of the universe, to death himself. You are the only one who can touch me, who is in control of my destiny. Stab me like you stabbed Luka. Put me out of my misery.”
“And bring misery on myself as a result?” asks Fia, her eyes drawn wide. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“A lot,” I sigh. “Alexander and Luka are right. The monster is always hiding, cursing those I love the most. Their pain equals my pleasure, and that is why I could never let you go, spitfire. Just thinking about the pain has me reaching for the knife, making me want to slit my own throat, so please, do the honors.”
“I’m not killing the father of my children,” says Fia, shaking her head, more tears falling.
“You’re the one good thing in my life. You kill other people and remain unscathed, never coming close to destruction yourself.
That makes you safe to lean on. I always trusted you were never going to leave, not because of death, but certainly not because you lost interest in me. ”
I search her eyes. “What are you saying?”
“Every time I ran away, you fought for me. You never gave up.”
“I kidnapped you, Fia, stealing your freedom.”
“I never wanted that in the first place,” she says, hugging herself as more tears fall. “All I have ever wanted is you.”
“That’s because all you’ve ever known is me.”
I wipe my hand around the back of my neck. She’s destroying me one tear at a time, but this is all my doing. She fell in love with me because she had no other choice.
Fia’s face turns, anger sharpening the two lines between her brows. “What are you saying exactly? That you’re giving up?”
“I have to do what is best for this family, Fia, to keep you and the twins safe.”
“Me and the twins want you in our lives.”
“You won’t have one for long as long as I’m part of it.”
Fia shakes her head, refusing to believe a word I’m saying. Always a little spitfire.
“Sorry to interrupt,” interjects one of my men outside.
“But we just received word that the Kuzmins are on their way here. The two of you should make tracks. And stay clear of your house, pakhan. Alexander and Luka might be dead, but precautions still need to be taken. The Kuzmins will be angry to see their leader dead, and you two will be in the firing line.”
Distancing myself from Fia isn’t as simple as I would like it to be.
I click my teeth, shoving my hands in my pockets. “Fair point.”
“Use my cousin’s boathouse. It’s currently unoccupied. I’ll forward you the address," says one of the men, slipping his phone, clicking on the screen.
My phone dings a moment later. I bring up the address. This place could be even more off the grid than my property.
Flashing Fia a glance, I shove the phone back into my pocket and step out of the container. The fresh salty air reminds me that reality does in fact exist.
“We’re getting you to the hospital right now,” I say to Fia, dragging her away from the shipping container.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re five and a half months pregnant and you almost lost your life.”
“Being unconscious and losing your life are two very different things.”
“Perhaps, but they both mean the same thing to me.” I grab her shoulders, turning her around to face me between the stacked shipping containers. Late afternoon shadows pass on her face, her searching eyes zigzagging between each of mine. “
You have to get away from me,” I say. “If you choose not to kill me, fine. Either way, you will never see me again when all of this is over.”