Antonio
“This way,” I grunt to the doctor, gesturing for him to follow me down the hallway and toward Julia’s room. He rushes after me, fumbling in his bag, and I shoot a hard look in his direction, wondering what the hell is going through his head right now.
Hopefully, the money I offered him is enough for him to ignore the doubts he might have about what he’s doing here.
Because the last thing I need is for him to second-guess why I’ve had to bring a doctor out here, pay one of the biggest and most respected clinics in the city just to get a house visit.
I told them that my wife couldn’t possibly travel to the clinic to confirm the pregnancy in person, and thank God, they haven’t pressed for much more on the matter.
Maybe they could sense from the tone of my voice that it wasn’t going to get them anywhere.
Whatever the reason, he’s here now, and I’m going to confirm this pregnancy once and for all.
I’ve been tossing and turning all night, trying to figure out the best course of action in moving forward with all of this, and this seems the only sensible option right now.
I need to make sure she’s actually pregnant before I start to plan anything, piece anything together, work out what our lives are going to look like going forward.
The silence between us since breakfast yesterday has been deafening, but it belongs there, at least for now. Silence is the only way I can think straight, and right now, I need to clear my head.
Truth be told, I’ve been torturing myself with the possibility of this new child.
I never imagined that I would be a father again, and it couldn’t have come at a worse time, given that my son has just betrayed me to work with my enemies.
Things might have been quiet since the attack on the warehouse, but I can only assume that’s because they’re planning something even bigger, even more destructive, something beyond the realms of what even I could imagine.
We reach Julia’s room and I knock on the door. It takes a moment for her to answer it, and when I see her again, I feel a pang of guilt. She looks exhausted, as if she has been tossing and turning all night, and I know that it’s because of me.
“Doctor’s here,” I tell her gruffly. “To confirm the pregnancy.”
She looks past me, to where the doctor is standing, taking a moment to make sense of what I’m telling her. “You…you brought a doctor here?”
“I need to know if you’re pregnant,” I reply, and she narrows her eyes at me.
“You think I’m lying to you—”
But before she can finish what she’s saying, the doctor, clearly keen for this to be over with already, has slipped into the room, and is laying out his things on the bed.
She glances back toward him and then to me, raising her eyebrows, like she’s silently demanding to know why I have brought him in here like this. I nod toward him, indicating that I am not willing to have this conversation until I know for sure what she’s telling me is true.
She turns on her heel and stomps over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it and following the doctor’s instructions to the letter—letting him take blood, urine, everything he needs to affirm that she’s truly with child.
I watch from the doorway, trying to ignore the flare of possessiveness that rises when I see him touching her arm. I know it’s stupid, he’s only doing his job, but I don’t like the thought of any other man laying a hand on her.
“Just give me a few minutes,” he tells us as he fumbles in his bag once more, pulling out a few objects and stepping to the side.
Julia watches him, teeth resting on her bottom lip, as she waits for him to respond.
I know she believes that she’s pregnant, but this—this will confirm it beyond all shadow of a doubt, and that reality might be different than the one she’s living in right now.
And then he turns to us, an expression of certainty on his face. “Positive. Both tests. You’re pregnant, Julia.”
She sucks in a sharp breath, though it can’t come as much of a shock.
Still, it hits me like a ton of bricks—she really is carrying my child.
It’s the last thing I expected when I got married to her, but then, in some twisted way, it makes perfect sense.
Of course she’s pregnant. She’s my wife, we’ve had sex—why wouldn’t she be pregnant?
I turn to the doctor, gesturing for him to go. “The guards will show you out,” I tell him sharply.
He stares at me for a moment, but then seems to think better of sticking around and making a case to spend any more time here, when he so clearly wishes he could be anywhere else.
He ducks his head down and scurries past me, leaving Julia and I alone in the room together—alone with the weight of the news that both of us are trying to wrap our heads around.
Silence fills the space between us for a long moment, neither of us saying a word. And then she looks up and me and speaks, her voice full of reproach. “You believe me now?”
“I didn’t doubt you before,” I reply evenly. “I just needed to hear it for myself.”
She rolls her eyes skyward, letting out a slight laugh. “Oh, yeah, of course,” she replies. “But you trust me now, right? Now that the doctor has confirmed it?”
I nod. “You need to rest,” I tell her. “We’ll figure out what we’re going to do for the rest of the pregnancy later—I can take care of that part—”
“Yeah, just like you take care of everything, right?” she replies, tipping her head to the side, clearly frustrated.
“Look, Antonio, I’m not worried about the pregnancy.
I know you have access to all the best doctors in the world.
I’m worried…” She presses her lips together for a moment, as if gathering herself.
“I’m worried about what’s going to happen when this baby comes along. ”
Her eyes lock onto mine, piercing straight through me.
I have to draw my gaze from hers, suddenly confronted by the reality of what she’s asking me.
I know she has every right to demand an explanation from me, God knows—every right to try and clear up exactly what approach I’m going to take to all of this, given that I’ve ducked and dived and dodged the matter until now.
But I don’t want to burden her with it. The truth of what’s going through my mind when it comes to the matter of having another child. The fear that pounds deep inside of me, warning me, in no uncertain terms, that I’m going to create another person like Andreo.
Even beyond his betrayal of me, hearing what he has done to Julia, the way he hurt her and controlled her—abused her, if I’m being honest with myself—it terrifies me.
Did he learn that from me? And if he did, will I pass the same thing down to any other child who’s unfortunate enough to share my blood?
But I can tell she needs an answer. Something. Anything. I part my lips, willing myself to come out with it, to come out with anything at all that will make right the quiet that has lived between us since she told me.
“You said you needed time to think yesterday,” she continues, her voice cracking slightly. “You haven’t figured it out yet, have you? What you want with this baby?”
I say nothing, but that, in and of itself, is an answer. She lowers her gaze, smiling slightly, though it seems to be more an expression of confirmation than anything else.
“Yeah,” she murmurs. “That’s what I thought.”
I want to tell her that it’s not what she thinks, that I do care, that I care more than I can put into words—that there’s almost nothing I wouldn’t do if it meant showing her that I will be there for her in any way that she needs me to be.
But the words fail me, and instead I just look back at her in stony silence.
I know, deep down, it’s not what she needs for me.
Not what she was hoping for, when she came to me with the news of this child.
“You should go,” she tells me, looking away from me again. “I think—I think we’re done here.”
There’s a finality to her tone that unsettles me, a choice made that I know nothing about.
It doesn’t sit right with me, and for a moment, I think of prying further, trying to work out what’s going on beneath the surface.
But something behind her eyes has slammed shut, leaving no room for debate or conversation.
No, she’s done with this, once and for all. And whatever it is that comes next…
I get the feeling that I only have myself to blame for it.
“If you need anything—”
“I don’t.”
I know she wants me to go. But still, I linger there in the doorway, hoping that she will change her mind, think better of it, give me something to go on. She doesn’t. So, finally, I turn to make my way out of the bedroom, my mind still racked with questions over everything that has just happened.
Because I get the feeling I might just have pushed her to a choice she doesn’t want to have to make. Even if I don’t know what that choice might be yet—I know that I’m soon going to find out.