Chapter 6
Chapter six
Wolfsbane
Ihung my apron on its peg in the cleaning supplies closet and wiped my palms on my trousers.
I had completed the rest of my tasks, my mind floating easily back to Cole, not consciously doing so, but finding myself in the process of trying to remember how she smelled, like a dream just out of reach, like a craving that had to be given in to.
At the end of my shifts, I had fallen into the rhythm of meeting Cole in the kitchen, where we and a few other council members, and most often Sara, would eat dinner.
Dinner was served buffet-style with serving dishes in the centre of the large chef’s table and the dull sound of chatter from the general dining room on the other side of the wall.
That first night, Cole made a plate for me and then watched me until I had begun to eat.
It was excruciatingly awkward to be watched like that. But this was going to be worse.
How could I even look at her after… that?
I felt like I was seeing someone I had kissed drunkenly and deeply regretted it, only the roles were reversed, in that I was aware that I was the object of regret.
And nothing had even happened. Not really.
Apart from undressing me. Which wasn’t okay.
I should have been mad, angry, furious… instead, I was nervous.
I walked into the kitchen, and Cole was already sitting.
I took a deep breath, the smell of the food filling my lungs.
A part of me was disappointed that it wasn’t the scent of Cole.
My eyes found her; she was speaking with Sara.
Sara’s mate Branden was at the table too, speaking with Darren and Ophelia.
Walking towards the table, Cole looked away from Sara and caught my eye.
I looked away briefly, and when I looked back, she was no longer looking in my direction.
The seat next to Cole was free; I knew her, and everyone at the table would expect me to sit beside her. It was likely why the seat was left empty in the first place. An unspoken expectation. I was offended by it. By the obligation and by the way I wanted her to want me to sit next to her.
I sat between Darren and Ophelia.
Cole turned her attention to me as I pulled out my seat. She looked momentarily irritated, and I sat with a smile.
“Hi,” Ophelia said when I sat down.
“Hi,” I said back.
I had been brave enough to sit away from Cole, hoping for some sort of reaction, but had received none, and I felt worse for it.
“Harriet,” Sara said as I was setting the jug of water on the table, and I was caught so entirely by surprise that she had spoken to me that I almost knocked the jug over.
“Yes, Alpha Sara?” I asked, giving her my attention.
“I apologise on behalf of Pack Sandstorm for the behaviour you experienced earlier today. The member involved is young and nearing maturity. Her parents believe she will experience her first shift any moon now,” Sara told me.
“It may provide some context for her lack of control, but her lying is inexcusable; she is being punished.”
“Thank you,” I said. I hadn’t expected any apology.
“Still,” she continued, “what happened this morning was exactly the type of disturbance that I was concerned about when you arrived here.”
“My omega isn’t the issue. Alan and Patricia should never have allowed the girl in that condition near an omega,” Cole interrupted.
“Your omega can’t be supervised and secluded every minute of every day,” Sara replied.
“The situation couldn’t have been engineered to happen more perfectly,” Cole said with a bark to her voice.
“Take the most instinct-driven adolescent alpha on the cusp of their first shift and tell them they are below an omega; then leave them alone. What would you predict would happen in that situation? She would never be in a situation like that naturally.”
“You’ve kept her away from the Pack, and the only time she interacts with someone outside of leadership, immediately there is an issue,” Sara countered.
“Harriet could come with me to the full moon party tonight,” Darren said, interrupting before Cole could reply.
“What?” Cole asked.
“Yes,” Sara agreed, sharing a look with Cole.
“Mum’s right. Harriet’s been here for a week, and all she’s done is work and sleep.
She hasn’t had a chance to interact with anyone properly, socially.
Let her come out with me; either you’ll see she’s capable of functioning within Sandstorm or an omega brings down the whole Pack,” Darren explained, finishing sarcastically.
“An omega couldn’t bring down Sandstorm,” Sara told him.
“I can’t allow my omega to go to a full moon party unaccompanied,” Cole said.
“Do I get a say here?” I asked.
Cole’s frown silenced me.
“You can come along. You’ve been too moody, even for you. You need to relax,” Darren answered Cole.
Cole gave Darren an inquisitive look. “Tomorrow night?” she asked.
“Heaven’s Bar,” Darren answered.
Cole nodded.
“I guess not,” I mumbled to myself.
Ophelia laughed.
Branden gave me a sympathetic look.
“It would be good to see how her presence affects social gatherings,” Sara said.
Cole didn’t pay me any attention for the rest of dinner.
Not until she said good night to the others at the table and stood to leave.
“Harriet,” she said expectantly as she walked around the table and towards the exit, stopping to turn back to look at me.
I considered reaching for another serving of pasta.
“It’s time to leave now,” she offered calmly, giving me a look that felt like a dare, like she was begging, “Push me. Please.” Like she wanted me to.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow night after dinner,” Darren told me as I stood.
“Yeah, sure,” I said flatly.
“It’s a date,” he said.
“Whoop,” I replied with a pathetic fist bump.
Darren laughed behind me as I walked towards Cole.
Cole watched me as I walked to her and turned to leave again as I reached her, leading me out of the kitchen and out of the Pack House. As the cold night air hit me from the open door, my jacket was placed over my shoulders.
“Thanks,” I said as I put my jacket on properly. Cole stepped in front of me, shrugging on her coat.
“You and Darren know each other,” Cole said.
“Not really; I’ve only ever seen him at a poker table,” I said.
She made a disbelieving sound in her throat.
“Do you think I was allowed to socialise with any males at those games?” I asked her.
“He’s a beta,” she answered.
“Ashford doesn’t take chances like that with me,” I replied. “He says I’m the only thing he won’t gamble with. Like it was meant to mean something to me. He didn’t even try to stop you from taking me.”
I laughed. I was nothing special to Ashford.
“You’re confident you’re going home?” Cole asked.
“He’ll get the money he owes you, or he’ll get his dad to give you the money,” I told her. I was sure of it. “He hasn’t got much of a choice, has he? If he doesn’t, you’ll confront Alpha Julian publicly. Either way, you’ll get what you want,” I answered.
“What is it you think I want?” Cole asked, looking down at me when I looked at her in response to the question.
There was a question in her eyes, an intensity that caused me to trip as I walked. I laughed as I found my balance. Cole’s hands hovered slightly at my sides.
“Enjoy your trip?” she asked.
“Ha-ha, Dad,” I replied, a little embarrassed at her joke.
“I can’t be your Daddy if you’re dating my nephew,” she said, and I tripped again.
“I’m not dating anyone… what… You’re not… what?”
Cole laughed deeply beside me.
“You might want to let Darren down gently. At this rate, he’ll be asking you to spend the full moon with him,” she said, pushing open the side pedestrian gate to her driveway for us.
“That’s never happening,” I told Cole.
“I feel like I should be offended for him. Said with such finality. What’s so wrong with him?” she asked.
“It’s not a him thing. I mean, it’s part of it; I don’t like men like that,” I groaned in frustration at how awkward I sounded.
I was twenty-three; I had been out for years, and still I stumbled saying I wasn’t straight.
Part of it was that I had spent the last three years unable to have any real relationships or friendships where I could be myself.
I shook my head. Cole wasn’t my friend; she was an heir of Sandstorm, an alpha that had temporarily claimed me.
“Plus, I don’t shift. So, I’m not spending the full moon with Darren or anyone,” I finished.
“What do you mean you don’t shift?” Cole asked.
We reached the house and Cole produced the key from her pocket.
“Pack Sandstorm doesn’t have many omegas, does it?” I asked, but it was obvious by the way Sara was scared of how my presence would impact Sandstorm Pack members.
“We have no omega wolves; we haven’t since we began keeping records. What do you mean you don’t shift?” she answered and asked again.
“None,” I said, recognising what that meant.
During the Omega Trials, when omegas were denigrated as the cause of weakness, sickness, and conflict within packs, and we were forbidden from marrying and having children, Sandstorm must have effectively rid itself of all omega lineage.
“Answer the question,” Cole demanded, pulling me back to the conversation as she hung her coat up and turned to take mine from me.
“I meant what I said; I don’t shift. Not since the first time. It isn’t safe for omegas to shift with the rest of the pack,” I explained and handed over my coat.
Cole hung up the coat and ran her hand through her curls.
Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.
“I want to make sure that I understand what you’re saying. You are saying that you have only shifted once in your life?” she asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
“And when was this?” she asked.
“Just over three years ago. I was twenty when my first shift happened. Since then, I use wolfsbane tea to prevent the shift,” I answered.
“That’s not possible. You haven’t shifted for over three years?” she asked.
“I don’t understand why you’re so hung up on this,” I said.
“It’s not safe to go more than a year without shifting. Everyone is given free access to werewolf-friendly national forest parks for that very purpose,” she told me.
“Omegas are different,” I told her.
“No, you’re not,” she answered.
“It’s not safe for me,” I argued. “Shifting with the pack once was almost enough to put me in the ground.”
Cole stepped closer to me, frustration in her eyes and the tightness of her lips.
“The scars?” she asked.
I stepped back from her. She reached out and gripped my wrist.
“You were attacked during your first full moon shift,” she stated.
“Yes,” I answered. “You’ve seen why I can’t risk that again.” I pulled my wrist free from her grip and walked towards the staircase.
Cole took hold of my upper arm, spinning me back to face her.
“You’re going to shift this full moon,” she told me.
“No, I’m not,” I told her.
“I wasn’t asking you; I was telling you. You’re going to shift this full moon. With me. I won’t let anyone harm you. You’ll be safe. You’re shifting,” she said like a declaration.
“You can’t make me,” I told her, hating how childish I sounded.
She pulled me closer to her.
“The moon will make you, not me. There’s no wolfsbane in this house; I’ll ensure you don’t have access to any before the full moon the night after tomorrow.”
Her pupils were dilated, her tone rough like she was suppressing a growl deep in her chest.
“You’re my omega,” she reminded me.
My chest was tight with frustration.
“You’re risking my life,” I told her.
Suddenly, she pulled me closer still until our chests brushed with each shared breath.
“I don’t gamble with what’s mine,” she said, and it hung in the small, small space between us. She echoed Ashford’s words, but his were thin, performative, and manipulative. Cole’s were firm, heavy, and said with finality.
“I want to go to bed,” I said, unable to bear the weight.
She released me, and I climbed the stairs to my room, my chest tight and my heart pounding.