Chapter 21 It’s Hard to Speak
Chapter twenty-one
It’s Hard to Speak
Cole knocked quietly on the frame of the bedroom door. It wasn’t mine anymore.
“Are you packed?” she asked, looking at all the clothes I had neatly folded on the bed.
“I’m just taking one change of clothes,” I told her.
She looked concerned.
“Everything is yours. You can take everything,” she said. It was hardly anything, and it was the most she had said to me since I waited outside all night for her.
“If I go back with all of this—” I motioned to all the clothing, most of which I hadn’t even had a chance to wear—“he’ll be upset,” I explained.
“Upset?” she asked hesitantly.
“It’s not something you have to worry about,” I told her.
“Harriet,” she said sternly, stepping into the room. “Does he… treat you well?” she asked.
“What do you think, Cole?” I asked, not trying to hide my anger. “You don’t get to throw me away, to ignore what”—I cleared my throat—“what we are, and act as if you care.”
“I can help,” she offered.
“Help?” I asked.
“Make it a condition of your return, of the credit agreement between Blizzard and Sandstorm, that you’re treated fairly,” she said.
I scoffed.
“Go ahead and do whatever you want,” I told her.
She nodded.
“Do you have friends or family at home?” she asked.
“You’ve chosen a weird time to take an interest in me,” I said, and she at least had the decency to look guilty. “I used to have friends and a family. That all kind of disappears when you find out you’re an omega,” I told her.
“They stopped talking to you?” she asked curiously.
“Friends acted like they didn’t know me, like I was invisible. My parents left the Pack. I don’t know where they went. Maybe they moved closer to my grandparents, my mum’s parents; they moved to a retirement village a few years before my first shift… I don’t even know if they’re still alive.”
“You have no one?” she asked.
“Why are you here? You don’t care. If you’ve got a guilty conscience, I’ll be gone soon enough, out of sight and out of mind. You don’t need to pretend. I get it,” I told her.
“You get what?” she asked with a subtle frown and walked further into the room until she was within arm's reach.
“That you don’t want me… around. And now you’re wondering if you should feel bad. But don’t pretend you actually care. It’s cruel,” I said.
“Harriet, does he—” She looked away from me.
“If you want to ask me something, at least have the decency of looking me in the eyes,” I said.
She turned back to me, her frown deepening.
“Does he force himself on you?” she asked.
“Whoa,” I said, turning away from her and focusing on refolding an unworn top. “If you’re jealous—”
I was cut off by the presence of her directly behind me.
“Does he?” she asked.
“It’s not—not what you’re imagining,” I said quietly, barely a whisper. I hesitated and cleared my throat. “He’s not allowed to… he’s not allowed… Alpha Julian wouldn’t allow it… It’s just oral,” I finally said.
For what seemed like forever, there was only silence. It allowed me to breathe again. I hadn’t noticed how shallow my breaths had become.
“I’m sorry that you have experienced that. If there is anything I can do—” she began.
“Thanks, but please, don’t do anything. You’ll only make things worse,” I interrupted. “I don’t want everyone knowing,” I told her.
A pregnant pause lay between us, and I almost turned around.
“I won’t tell anyone, and I won’t do anything that could worsen your situation,” she promised.
“Thanks,” I said.
“Do you want me to stay while you pack? We don’t have to talk,” she offered.
“I’d like to be alone for a bit. When are we leaving?” I asked.
“In about an hour,” she answered.