Marina
Iwake up in a start, panicked and breathing hard after a dream where I was being chased by someone whose face I couldn't see.
My skin is clammy and damp with sweat, and my head throbs.
I blink my eyes several times trying to get my blurred vision to adjust to what I see, which is my own bed in my bedroom.
Confusion hovers around me like a dark cloud as I rub my eyes and look at my nightstand where my phone is usually plugged in, but I'm foggy brained.
I can't remember last night or getting home.
I know I didn't drink that much to get so drunk that I passed out, but I do remember Maksim getting a little pushy with me.
My phone isn't on the nightstand, and I roll to my side to see if it's fallen to the ground, but as I do, movement catches my attention at the foot of my bed and I see Maksim seated there watching me.
His eyes are dark and his lips are pursed.
He doesn't look pleased to be here, though I don't remember inviting him, anyway.
Then the last interaction I had with him comes crashing back. His hands on me, the way he kept telling me to stop resisting him. I shiver with fear and scoot back away from him, making my word spin for a second.
"Maksim, what are you doing here?" I look down at my body to see someone has dressed me in a night shirt, and then I feel my hips and thighs and know I’m dressed. But how? I was wearing a dress, not sleep clothes. And I was at his house, not my own.
"Good afternoon," he says sternly, and his expression only grows darker.
He's not happy at all. I've never seen his anger turned on me before and it scares me.
I don't remember what happened at his house, so I don't know why he may be mad, but my body feels off, violated somehow.
It creeps into my thoughts and lodges there as I squirm uncomfortably for a few seconds before I have the courage to ask.
“Did we… Did we have sex?” My throat feels raw and dry, and I glance at the door, hoping magically that someone else will walk in here and save me from whatever this is. I can't believe how hard my heart is beating. Why the hell is he in my bedroom and where is my father?
“No,” he says calmly, but there's an undercurrent of anger to his tone.
“We didn’t. You passed out and I had you brought back here to your room where you've been sleeping for the past eighteen hours.
" He leans forward, narrowing his eyes to slits and says, "I also called in a doctor to examine you and find out exactly why you collapsed.
He believes it's stress combined with malnourishment. You've not been eating properly.”
I stare at him while his words sink in. Eighteen hours is a long time to lose, and the thought that he had a doctor examining me while I was unconscious makes my skin prickle.
Of course he did. It makes sense that he would.
But it's a massive violation of my privacy.
He doesn't own me like he thinks he does.
But before I can ask anything else, he continues talking.
“The doctor ran blood tests as well,” Maksim says, glaring at me. “You're pregnant, Marina.”
Oh, my God, I think I'm going to vomit. He knows. My eyes grow wider and my hand shakes, so I bury it under the covers as I shake my head and curl into a ball, trying to shrink myself away from him. "It's wrong. There's no way I can—"
“Don't you fucking lie to me,” he snarls, and there's no holding back the anger anymore.
He doesn't even try to look tempered. “Tests don't lie.
You're pregnant, and we both know it's not mine.
So, whose is it, Marina? Who have you been letting touch you while you're supposed to be preparing to become my wife?”
Terror floods through me and I lurch off the bed, hoping to get to the bathroom before he gets to me, but Maksim is faster than I expect. He steps directly into my path, blocking the doorway completely. His hand shoots out and grabs my wrist, yanking me back so hard, I stumble.
"No, please," I whimper, shaking my head. My hand presses on his chest to keep him away from me, but he's stronger than I am and there's no use fighting him. "It's got to be wrong, Maksim."
"It's not wrong, Marina. The doctor did an ultrasound. You're at least eight weeks now. That means you've let some other man fuck you, and you know you belong to me."
Anger tries to swell under the embarrassment of being caught and the fear of what he'll do, but only a strangled, "Please," can escape.
My entire body shakes with how frightened I am, and the way his eyes are wide and wild, scary too, he looks like he could kill me. "Maksim," I whimper, "let me explain."
"Explain that the woman I'm supposed to marry has fucked another man?
Do you understand how humiliating this is?
" His free hand rises to wrap around my throat and squeeze, though I can still breathe.
But the way he grips me makes the blood thump in my head, feeling like it's swelling up inside my brain.
"You're trying to ruin my reputation, you whore. "
"No!" I whine, but he squeezes harder and I'm terrified he may kill me. I knew this would happen. I knew how angry he'd be and I didn't just do what Elira told me. I should have. Sleeping with him would've prevented all of this.
“You have made a complete mockery of me,” he growls. His hand pins me to the wall by the bathroom door as I start to feel faint. “Walking around pregnant with another man’s bastard child while I'm expected to marry you."
"No, please," I choke out as his hand tightens on my throat. I claw at his fingers, trying to pull them away from my skin while my face continues to burn and I feel the lack of oxygen. I try kicking him too, but he presses his hips against mine and pins my legs down.
"You'll ruin me, woman. Is that what you want?
You think I'll uphold the arrangement with your father if my name is soiled?
" He is close enough I can see the thick red veins in his eyes that bulge out angrily.
"Or maybe you thought you'd get out of this?
You don't want to fuck me, and maybe you don't want to marry me either. "
"No, Maksim." My thoughts go to my father and how crushed he'll be.
Angry, yes, but the lasting result of this will be the downfall of our family.
I can't let that happen. It's why I agreed to this. The fling was never supposed to end up like this. It was just supposed to be an adventure before I was sold away in slavery the rest of my life, but Maksim will never believe that. And if he doesn’t let go of my neck, I won’t live long enough to tell him.
"Maksim," I croak, now clinging to his wrist with both hands as my vision starts to go dark. "You're hurting me..." The sound is almost a whisper but his grip doesn't loosen.
"You're not getting out of this, you little whore. You'll get an abortion and you'll marry me anyway. Do you understand me? You're not having some other man’s baby when you're married to me."
“No,” I grunt. “I can't." Tears prick my eyes and run down my cheeks, but they don't make him back off.
The thought of losing Stepan's baby is somehow crushing.
It's a solution, right? To let Maksim have his way, give him the abortion, and then go on with life.
But how could I do that to Stepan? And it would mean losing him entirely, nothing left to hang on to him and the love I feel for him.
Maksim's fingers tighten, cutting off my air entirely now, and I react instantly, twisting my body violently, kicking at his legs, fighting with everything I have.
I can't let him do this to me. If I pass out again, I know I'll wake up and my baby will be gone.
My heart pounds so loudly, it drowns out almost everything else.
He is really going to do it. He is going to kill me right here. I can't breathe at all. My body is getting so heavy. I can barely fight him, and my lungs are burning.
Maksim’s eyes darken and it makes terror consume me. I'm about to die right here in my own bedroom.
“You are gonna learn exactly who's in control here,” he says softly, his face inches from mine.
Any second now, everything will go dark for good. But just as darkness starts to close in completely, the bedroom door swings open.
My father walks in and Maksim backs away, letting air rush into my lungs.
The sensation is so powerful, I'm lightheaded, and I collapse onto my bed sobbing.
But my relief is short lived as I look up at my father's cold detachment. He doesn’t care that Maksim was just choking me.
He's so angry with me, he doesn't even look worried about me.
“Papa,” I choke out, gasping for air as I crawl up onto the bed, farther away from Maksim.
"Get yourself together, young lady." My father stands over me, glowering at me as Maksim rounds the end of my bed and straightens his tie. He's still every bit as angry as he was, more so, if that's possible.
"She gets an abortion or our deal is over. Do you understand me, Sergei? You promised me a bride, and I won't marry a whore."
Hearing them talk about me like this is humiliating, but now that I can breathe, I have no intention of just letting them control me. "No! I won't do it. You can't do that."
"Shut up!" Maksim screams, so loud, it makes me jump back in fear. "You listen to me, you little bitch. You aren't going to be my humiliation. You'll get the fucking abortion or we'll have to deal with this another way."
My body trembles as I shrink back against the headboard and pull my blankets up to cover myself. Tears still stream down my cheeks, but the fight is going out of me. I won't let them kill my baby, not for any reason.
"He's right, Marina. You'll have the abortion and you'll go through with this wedding because I won’t allow you to shame our family name either—"
"Papa," I squeak, but he turns to Maksim, who is still glaring at me.
"And if you don't," Maksim says as if continuing my father's sentence for him, "I'll kill you myself."
"No," I whisper, but my father says nothing. A mercy killing? Because I'm pregnant?
"Finish this, Sergei, or you won't like what happens." Maksim walks out, slamming the door behind himself, but my father just stands there hanging his head.
"Papa, please, say something," I whine, crawling closer to him now, but he backs away, looking up at me with complete disappointment in his eyes.
He looks defeated, very much like he plans to surrender or something. How can he just give up and not protect me? Why would he let Maksim do this to me? I made a mistake. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It's not my fault, and my father won’t stand up for me.
"Papa..."
"You brought this on yourself, Marina, and now you have to do the right thing. I'll arrange for the doctor to come by later this afternoon." He turns, heading toward the door, and stops when he gets there. "I am so furious with you."
My heart sinks first, then my body. I curl into a sobbing ball. The only way out of this is to run, to get as far away from here as possible. The things I would do for my family mean nothing anymore because my own father won't turn to protect me the way I would him.
I should've accepted Stepan's proposal, and I should've told Maksim no from the beginning. What was I thinking? Why did I let this happen to me?
"Oh, my God," I whine into my pillow, letting more tears come. I don’t even know if Stepan will take me back now. It's been so long since I even texted him, and I don’t know where my phone is now.
I need help. And I need it now. If it's still available.