Stepan
Iclose the bedroom door behind me and bring the phone to my ear, and the first thing I hear is Roman's heavy breathing. He's pissed and I know exactly why before he even says a word.
"Hello?"
"Tell me it's not true." It isn't often I'm at the end of this side of my cousin, but twice in less than a month is enough for a lifetime. "Tell me you did not ignore my orders and move before the six-week period I gave you?"
I walk to the window and pull the curtain aside with two fingers. The rain is coming down harder now. I press my shoulder against the wall and let the cold from the glass seep through my shirt.
"It's done," I say. When the line goes quiet, I know he's pissed.
I know what he told me, and I ignored it.
But I had a good reason, and I would do the same thing over again if I had to.
I'm not one for defying orders, and I don't look at this like a defiance.
I just negotiated the timeline a little.
"I gave you specific instructions, and you moved ahead of them. Do you understand what happens if Orlov's men find out it was us? Can you even fathom the war you could have just started?"
I don't try to defend my actions because I know everything he's saying is true.
But Roman has to let his anger burn off a bit before he can think rationally, and the only way to do that is to let him vent.
He goes on for another full minute with reasons my killing Orlov was a bad idea, but it felt like the perfect timing to me.
After he made that death threat on Marina's life, it may even look like it was Sergei who did this.
There was no better timing, and if he had to make the choice I'd been forced into, he'd have done the same thing.
I just won't tell him I made the choice to move before I heard about Maksim's plan for Marina.
"He threatened to kill her, Ro," I say when he finally calms down enough to let me speak. "Like a mercy killing or something... I couldn't let that happen, and you know it."
He huffs, and I picture him scowling in a rage, but now he's thinking, at least. If Sergei stood back and let Orlov kill his only daughter, would Maksim have honored the alliance?
No doubt... The man wanted to be cut into all Belova operations anyway.
He didn't ever care about Marina. She was the icing on the cake.
"You should've called me," he growls, then I hear him sipping something, probably vodka.
"I know."
"You should've called me and told me about the threat and let me make the decision." It had to have been Yegor or Radimir who told him. I know how they talk and they're Roman's personal security. I merely borrowed them because they can be trusted. It was bound to get back to him, anyway.
"And you'd have made the same choice," I say.
"I just pushed that timing up to preserve a life...
What's done is done, and there's no taking it back.
But I did what you ordered. The alliance won't move forward now.
We just have to play our cards right so Belova doesn't find a new family to buddy up to.
" I turn from the window and walk a slow circuit around the room, rolling my neck to loosen the tension.
"Alright," Roman says. "Well, you seem to be the one with all the plans.
What do we do next, then? You have this all figured out.
" I don't like the sarcastic tone he's using, but I'm not letting him get me down.
I haven't really thought this through much because I was so focused on getting Marina to choose me and keeping her safe from Maksim. But he’s right to be skeptical.
We have to play every card right. Sergei will hear about Maksim soon enough, and when that happens, he'll look for someone to blame.
While he won't be looking at us directly, he will be looking for a way to maneuver around us.
And if he finds out I'm the reason Maksim was so furious with his daughter, there will be hell to pay, murder accusation or not.
I sit on the edge of the bed and lean forward with my elbows on my knees, staring at the floor. I've been turning it over in my head for days and I'm not sure how to take the next step.
"Orlov's gone, which means the alliance between him and Sergei is dead. That leaves a gap. Belova needs a new partner, and he needs one fast because the territory Orlov was helping him hold is exposed now and the Yekaterinburg crews are going to test it the second they smell an opening."
"Yeah, I know this. Tell me something new."
He's still angry because I've made a mess he thinks I can't clean up, but thoughts are starting to form.
"If I tell Marina who I really am now, maybe she'll see the wisdom in being with me.
We can offer her father the stability he needs for his organization and the resources and manpower to preserve what he has. "
Roman chuckles. "You told me three weeks ago that he'd never go for that. It's why you felt the need to go after Orlov."
"Yeah," I say, shaking my head. "Just listen... Back then, Sergei had his alliance in place. There was no way he'd go for us. But if he sees that his options are dead in the water, he'll have no other choice—"
"And Marina sweetens the pot for you..." Roman says.
Standing, I pace back to the window and look out to see the rain has lessened but the night is still swallowing all the light. "Yeah, I get the girl. But the point is if his daughter is with us, he will trust us more. It's why men make arranged marriages anyway, right?"
Roman thinks for a second and then says, "You make it sound clean."
"It's messy as fuck and I know it..." I hear a cough from the other room and remember that Marina is waiting for me.
I don't want to leave her for too long because she's already shown how uncertain she can be.
Just springing this house on her was a shock.
I've been taking her to that safe house so long, she didn’t know what to think. I have a lot of explaining to do.
"Do you?"
"Ro, we're too deep to back out. The hit's done and it can't be undone, and if we sit on our hands and wait, Belova's gonna start asking questions.
If Sergei thinks we had anything to do with Orlov's death, alignment goes off the table permanently.
We'll never get close to him. The window to move is now, before his people start digging. "
"Handle it," he says. "But I am not cleaning up messes with this."
When he hangs up, I sigh and lock my phone.
I can't believe he's still letting me take control of this operation, even with the risks I've been taking.
It shows just how much trust he has in me, and I can't let his trust be badly placed.
I have to pull this off. Which means I have to be real with Marina, tonight or tomorrow, and I have to convince her that being with me means safety for her and her family.
I shove my phone into my pocket and run a hand through my hair, moving back into the hallway.
Everything I've said to her has been one hundred percent the truth.
I love her, more than anyone in my whole life, and while I've omitted a few facts about who I am and what I do for a living, I haven't directly lied to her. And I hope she understands that.
When I walk into the living room, she lifts her head to look at me. She's been crying again, though I don't think it's because she was eavesdropping. She looks heartbroken and I hate that for her.
"Hey," I say, approaching cautiously. I crouch in front of her and put my hands on her knees, and she unfolds slowly, lowering her legs, letting her feet find the floor. Her fingers weave through my hair and stay there. "You look so tired, baby. I'm a little worried about you."
Marina sighs and presses her forehead to mine. "I'm exhausted."
"Come on," I tell her, taking her hand. "You need to lie down."
She lets me pull her to her feet and walk her down the hallway. In the dark bedroom, I pull the covers back and she sits on the edge of my bed, but when I go to kneel so I can take her shoes off for her, she wraps her arms around my waist and sniffles.
"Please, don't leave. Stay here with me." Her voice is muffled, but I hear her plainly, so I cup her cheeks and turn her head up toward mine.
"You need rest," I say softly. She's so tired, I can see it all over her. The emotion of all of this has weighed her down. Tonight isn’t the right time to tell her about me or try to convince her to marry me. She needs to rest.
"I need you." Her reply comes as she rests her chin on my belly, just above the waistband of my pants. She’s looking up at me with those dark, exhausted eyes, and I can’t say no to her when she’s this raw.
So I crouch in front of her and let her pull me closer as I kneel on the floor between her legs.
I cup her face and kiss her forehead then her nose, then the corner of her mouth—before our lips meet fully.
The kiss is soft and unhurried, tongues touching gently as we breathe each other in.
I taste the salt of her earlier tears and it makes my chest ache.
“I love you,” I whisper quietly to her. “And I want you for the rest of my life, Marina. Not just tonight or until things calm down. I want all of you for the rest of my life, and I want to keep you safe from everything that could ever hurt you. Your father, the organization, the whole damn world if I have to. Just say you’ll let me. ”
Her eyes glisten as she cups my face with both hands, thumbs brushing my cheekbones. “I love you too,” she whispers. “So much it scares me sometimes. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for everything.”
“You don’t have to be sorry,” I tell her and kiss her again to stop her from saying more.
My hands move to the hem of her blouse and I tug it upward.
She lifts her arms so I can pull it off, then reaches for my shirt.
I help her drag it over my head and drop it on the floor.
Then I unhook her bra and drag it down her arms and when it falls away, I kiss the hollow of her throat, feeling her pulse jump under my lips.
I stand just long enough to shove my jeans and boxers down my legs and kick them aside, then I’m back with her on the bed where she lifts her hips so I can slide her jeans and panties down.
The feeling of her bare under me is intoxicating, but I don’t want to rush this.
She's so tender right now. This isn't about the sex.
It's about the connection, and I'd be a fool to ruin that.
I stretch out beside her on the mattress and rest my hand on her ribs, thumb brushing just under the curve of her breast. She turns toward me and our mouths meet again.
I let my hand drift lower, over the flat of her stomach, then between her legs.
She parts her thighs for me and I find her already slick and warm.
I circle her clit with two fingers, and she gasps into my mouth.
“Like that?” I ask against her lips.
“Yes,” she breathes. “Please… do it again."
I keep the rhythm steady, listening to every hitch in her breathing, every quiet moan she tries to hold back. When her hand finds my cock, wrapping around it, stroking me in time with my fingers on her, it feels so good I have to close my eyes for a second.
“Rina,” I groan against her neck. “You're gonna make me mad."
She tightens her grip a fraction and whispers, “I love how you touch me..." Her hips rock upward into my touch and I grin against her cheek as I press a kiss there.
"I love touching you, so we're even."
When she nudges me like she's wanting more, I lift myself up hovering over her. I'm so hard it's almost painful when I nestle between her thighs and she guides me in. As I sink she groans and places hot, open-mouth kisses on my chest, and her fingers claw at my sides, urging me deeper.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” I mumble against her mouth before I start to move—deep rolls of my hips, grinding in a way that keeps us pressed together from chest to thigh. Every stroke drags against her G-spot and she moans softly every time I bottom out.
“Yes,” she pants. “Like that. God, I love feeling you inside me.”
I keep the pace even, one hand braced beside her head, the other sliding under her ass to tilt her hips up just a little more. The angle makes her gasp, and her grip on my sides tightens and digs in.
“I want to marry you, Marina," I growl in her ear, letting her feel every solid inch of my dick as I bury it into her over and over. "And I don't want another man to even look at you again. You're mine."
She hisses and groans, and I feel her hips start rocking too, grinding upward as I fill her. Then her hips open and her legs wrap around my body. The way it tilts her pelvis does something to my dick that's so incredible I almost lose it right there.
Sweat beads on my skin where we’re pressed together and I kiss her neck, her collarbone, the swell of her breast, never stopping the steady rhythm inside her. She clenches around me every time I slide in, and I fight not to lose control too soon.
She groans deep in her throat as her body rocks under mine and I feel her pussy flutter around my length. I keep thrusting, letting her feel the full slide of my dick each time I sink back in.
Her whimpers grow higher, more desperate with every stroke, fingers frantically clutching at my sides, but I keep the rhythm, pressing deep, grinding against her g-spot on each pass.
Then her breathing turns sharp and her thighs tense around me.
And suddenly her pussy starts pulsing, strong rhythmic squeezes that milk me from base to tip.
She whimpers as the waves hit her and her back lifts off the bed ,while her inner walls flutter and clamp down in quick, intense spasms. The pulses keep coming, drawing out her orgasm as her body shakes and writhes.
I keep thrusting through every contraction, feeling her come undone and when the spasms finally start to ease, the pressure in my balls surges. I thrust harder, burying myself completely on each stroke.
“I’m gonna fill you,” I groan against her neck.
Then I release, dumping my load as I bury myself deep into her. She shudders and clings to me, and when my dick is done pulsing, I turn and pull her into my chest.
I don’t want to bring up the conversation I know we have to have and ruin this moment, so I lie there with her in my arms, catching my breath, feeling her press kisses to my knuckles, and before I know it, sleep takes me.
The conversation will wait until tomorrow, and I hope she understands why I’ve done what I’ve done and how I did it all for her.