Marina
The woman named Sorin walks ahead of me down a long hall, and I follow behind her feeling scared. What else am I supposed to do? It's not like I can just walk out of here into the street and go home. I know what it means for Stepan if I do. My father won't just hurt me. He'll kill the man I love.
She opens a door at the end of the hall and holds it for me. I step into a guest room with a bed and a nightstand and a bathroom through an open door on the far wall. It's all too much, too expensive for my taste. But it's a kind gesture from a man I've been raised to believe is a very unkind man.
"I'll draw you a bath," Sorin says. "Sit for a moment." She has a warm smile and soft eyes, kind like my grandmother's were before she passed. They put me at ease as I sink onto the edge of the bed and listen to her move around in the bathroom.
The faucet turns and water hits the tub, and within a few seconds, the roar of a bath being filled reaches my ear.
I hear her open a cabinet and shut it, then the scent of oils and salts drifts through the open door.
I've never had a maid or housekeeper take care of me. Hell, my mother wasn’t even around to care for me much.
My first experience with this seems so surreal, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel.
She comes back and stands in front of me with her hands folded. "The bath is ready, Ms. Belova. There are towels on the rack and night clothes on the vanity." She pauses. "Can I get you anything to eat? Some tea?"
"No. Thank you, Sorin. Really." I feel bad turning her down. Stepan's cousin did say for her to feed me, but if I eat this time of night, I'll throw up for sure.
"You're sure? It's no trouble... I could make toast or perhaps soup." She really is a kind woman.
"I'm sure, thank you," I tell her, again refusing her offer. I wish Stepan were here. I feel so out of place.
She nods and squeezes my arm gently before she lets go to slip out of the room. Then I push myself up and walk into the bathroom and close the door.
The tub's full of water hot enough that steam has started to collect along the mirror above the sink. Bubbles form a thick layer across the surface and beckon me in. It's like Mr. Kuzin knows exactly how to relax a woman. His wife is a very lucky woman.
I peel off my clothes, leaving them on the tile, and step in and lower myself down. The heat wraps around me and I feel every muscle I've been clenching for the past hour start to unwind.
I sink until the water reaches my chin and close my eyes, focusing on my breathing. It's been a long day and I'm tired and emotionally worn out.
If that gun would've worked, I'd have killed one of my father’s men.
As it stands, I feel like the ones who lay dead in Stepan's house are dead because of me.
Some of them may be my cousins or uncles, and it makes me think of how Filipp will react to all of this, how angry he may be at me for cheating on Maksim and causing all of this.
I've always been the good girl, the one who never did a bad thing or took risks.
Listening to Elira tell me to take a risk and have an adventure was a dumb move, though I can't be mad at her for it.
I made the choices on my own and if I hadn't made them, I'd be oblivious to what real love feels like.
Stepan awakened something inside me I've never felt and if he hadn't done that for me, I'd have married Maksim and never known what true love really is.
Pressing my eyes closed, I let the water swirl around me and rest my hand on my belly, wondering what Stepan is thinking about this baby.
His reaction was so subdued, almost nonexistent.
He's not overly expressive with his emotions at times, but he is tender and gentle with me.
So this whole evening has felt like an alternate timeline or something, seeing him so angry and hostile, then not feeling a trace of his tenderness when I needed it most.
Maybe it was there. Maybe I'm too worked up and scared to feel it. Or maybe I blame myself too much to allow that tenderness to reach my heart right now. I don’t deserve any of this affection or protection, either.
I lied to him, kept his baby a secret, and literally slept with him while I knew damn well that I was planning to marry another man.
He shouldn’t love me. He should hate me. But here I am, safe and sound with him.
I'm starting to drift off, almost to a point where I'm dozing, when someone softly knocks on the bathroom door. I blink my eyes open, realizing I almost fell asleep and call, "Yes?"
"Marina? My name is Mila. I'm Roman's wife. Sorin told me you were here. Can I come in?"
I hesitate, then I pull the bubbles up around my chest and shoulders.
Being in a stranger's bath is one thing.
Having that stranger's wife walk in is a little awkward, but it piques my curiosity.
My father has always told me that Roman Kuzin is a monster, though I never knew what he looked like or really much else about him until tonight.
I didn't know who Stepan was, either—not really.
"Yeah," I mumble, deciding that if a woman is brave enough to marry a Kuzin man, I’ll learn what I can about her. I'm having a baby with one of these men. That's scarier than what I thought.
The door opens and a woman steps in with a baby on her hip.
The child isn't even a year old yet and this woman appears to be my age, maybe younger.
She's so pretty and walks cautiously as she walks over and closes the toilet lid, sitting down on it.
She adjusts the baby on her lap and it leans into her chest.
"Sorry to barge in," she says. "When I heard what happened, I wanted to come check on you... And you could see there are more than just men with guns around this place." She chuckles softly and bounces the little one on her knee.
I almost laugh. It comes out more as a breath through my nose, but she catches it and smiles.
"This is Amelia," she says. "She should be asleep, but we're going through a days and nights mix-up right now. She thinks Mommy doesn't need to sleep at all."
She's an adorable little girl, with a swath of thick, dark curls on her head and wide green eyes that stare at me.
She looks tired, though, and she yawns so big, I can see one tooth poking through the gums. It makes my hand slide across my belly under the bubbles as I think about how soon, I'll have a little baby like that on my lap.
"She's so beautiful," I tell Mila. I see her father in her, the square jawline, the dimple in her chin. And she has his eyes too. Much like Stepan's. Their family genes are strong. I wonder if my baby will look like me or Stepan.
"That she is, but she's a terrible sleeper—incredible eater, though. And she's got her father's temper." Mila grins and presses her lips to the top of Amelia's head.
Amelia lets out a loud cry, and Mila stands and bounces her and shushes her, but the crying ramps up.
"Hey, shh," Mila soothes. Amelia doesn't like being talked about, apparently, because her wailing erupts into a fit complete with throwing her head back and kicking her legs, and soon, the bathroom door opens and Sorin appears.
"I've got her," Sorin says, holding out her arms. "Come here, sweet girl."
Amelia goes to Sorin without protest, her crying tapering off as Sorin tucks her against her chest and rocks her. Within seconds the baby's eyes droop and her head tilts against Sorin's shoulder.
"She's a witch," Mila says, watching them go. "I'm convinced." The door closes and Mila sits back down.
"You didn't have to come check on me," I say.
"I know. I wanted to." She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "I've been where you are, Marina... And I know how scared you must be."
I'm not fond of her pity, or sympathy—whatever it is. I turn away with my cheeks burning and gather more bubbles that seem to be dissipating faster now as the water really starts to cool. When I say nothing, Mila continues.
"Is it okay if I tell you a story?" I look up at her, not sure what her angle is, but I nod. I'm sort of trapped in this bathtub with a complete stranger looking at me, and I'm not typically a rude person. Mila seems nice, however, and as she starts to speak, her voice lulls me into a trance.
"When I met Roman, he was violently angry with me and wanted to kill me.
" Her eyebrows rise as I narrow my eyes at her, then she chuckles.
"I had stolen from him, and it's his own personal thing...
But the point is, when he saw me for who I really am and the situation I was in with my stepmother, he proved what sort of man he is. "
This is one of those, "I married this man despite his flaws" sort of speeches, and she's got me hook, line, and sinker.
"What sort of man is that?" I ask her, already knowing what she'll say.
No woman marries a man who is violent with her unless she's forced.
And given that they have a baby together and she's in here calmly trying to help me, I'd say that's not the case with her and Roman.
"He's a good man, and so is Stepan." She sighs and smiles warmly, eyes glazing over like she's remembering things fondly. "I think finding this family was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I would've been trapped in a bad mess without them."
I know what she's saying, but her mess can't have been nearly as bad as mine. My own father wants me to abort my baby, and I'm positive once he learns Maksim is dead, he'll just find a different man to force me to marry. This one may not be as kind as Maksim even was.
"My father's angry," I say. "He sent armed men to Stepan's apartment tonight."
"I heard."
"He won't stop. If he finds out I'm in the Kuzin compound with no plans to come home, he'll think I'm betraying him. The Radins are our enemy."
Mila nods. "I believe you. I'm not going to tell you your father isn't dangerous. I don't know him and I don't know what he's capable of." She leans forward. "But I know Roman. And I know Stepan. If there's a way to do this without more people getting hurt, they'll find it."
Her words touch a place in my heart that's so tender and frightened. I blink and the tears spill over and run down my cheeks and drip into the bathwater. Mila stands and grabs a washcloth off the rack and hands it to me, and I press it against my face.
"You're safe here, Marina. I promise you that, and so is your baby. Okay?"
I lower the washcloth and look at her standing over me, hovering like a mother who wants to hug her child, but I'm grateful she keeps her distance at this precise moment. "Thank you," I say.
A knock on the bedroom door carries through the bathroom. Mila turns her head.
"Marina?" Stepan sounds tired and a bit emotional, and it makes my heart squeeze. I want him in here with me, and I want to know what he thinks of this baby.
Mila looks back at me and winks. "That's my cue. For what it's worth, he's a good man. Stubborn and reckless and terrible at communicating, but good."
She slips out of the bathroom. I hear her muffled voice saying a few words to Stepan I can't make out. Then the bedroom door opens and closes and his footsteps come closer.
He appears in the bathroom doorway with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped, and the exhaustion on his face sits deep behind his eyes.
I feel that same sting of guilt I've been carrying around with me as he stands there looking at me glumly.
I made a huge mess for everyone by so stupidly wanting more than life offered me.
I took where it wasn't permitted and the man I love carries this weight on his shoulders that's all my fault now.
"Hey," I say.
He crosses to the tub and drops to his knees beside it and rests his forearms on the rim. His face softens and he pushes a damp strand of hair off my forehead.
"I need to talk to you," he says softly. "Roman and I have a plan."
I'm a little nervous to hear this plan, but I trust him. He asked me to trust his love for me above all else, and that's what I'm choosing to do. "Okay?" I say cautiously.
"It might not be what you want to hear... and I swear if you go with this, you'll never have to be afraid again. I just—"
"Just say it, Stepan." At this point, as long as it doesn't include killing my family or hurting anyone I love, I have to listen to him. I can’t do anything on my own and without his help, I'm just cattle ready to be shipped to market.
He grimaces and his eyes drop, like he can't look at me as he says it.
"If you and I get married, and we can convince your father to agree to a new alliance, we can stop his attacks.
Replace the Orlov deal with a Kuzin deal.
Give him a reason to stand down that saves his pride and protects his business. "
"Stepan..."
He keeps talking, as if saying more words will make this easier, but my choice is already made. "I know your father. I know he won't take a new deal easily when the old one fell apart, but it's the best play we've got. If it works, nobody else has to get hurt."
"Stepan," I say again, but he just keeps going.
"And I know that you already told me no twice, but that was when you were being forced into marriage with Maksim. But he's gone now, and there's no hope for your family. It means your father will—"
"Yes," I say. "I'll marry you." There isn't even a tiny bit of doubt in my mind that this is what I want.
This man, this baby, this life with him.
What was supposed to be a fling turned into my greatest adventure and the love of my life, and I don't want to be that stupid woman who let him get away.
Stepan lifts his eyes to look at me and they're glassy and bright, but his whole body is still tense, like he's poised to keep arguing his point. "Yeah?"
"Yes." I put my wet hand on his then sit up and let the bubbles and water slosh around me. "My father is gonna hate you, but yes. I want to marry you."
His reaction is priceless. He leans forward, cupping both of my cheeks, and kisses me firmly on the lips, then presses his forehead to mine. "I was so afraid you'd say no again. God, Rina, I'm so in love with you... And now this baby."
"I love you too, Stepan, so much." It's more than I hoped for, the way he so easily accepts this baby and me, and it takes my breath away. I could get lost in him, and this time, I think I want to. Without fear of my father or Maksim getting in the way.