Chapter 2 #3
Heat low in my gut, a tightening across my shoulders, and then the vivid awareness that the distance between her shoulder and my chest has closed to almost nothing without my permission.
My weight shifts backward, a half step that I execute before the thought finishes forming. She registers the shift. Her head turns, and whatever she reads on my face makes her take her own step, a lateral drift toward the window that opens a gap of charged air between us.
Neither of us says a word about it. The silence holds the shape of what just happened the way a glass holds water, and I can feel the surface tension right at the rim.
"The storm," she says, and the word comes out slightly different than it should. "Is there a timeline? For the roads?"
"Few days." Honest based on what I know, though the DOT pulling their plows tells me the window is likely longer than forty-eight hours. The information sits behind my teeth, unfinished rather than withheld, and the distinction matters to me even if it wouldn't matter to her.
"A few days," she repeats, and the studied neutrality of her tone is its own kind of tell.
"You're welcome to stay as long as the weather holds you. No charge."
Her chin lifts. "I can pay."
"Didn't say you couldn't. Said you don't need to."
She holds the look for a long moment, weighing the offer against every offer that came before it and finding the pattern doesn't match.
"Thank you," she says, and the word is guarded, and the guardedness is its own answer.
The day passes the way storm days pass in Sawyer's Ridge.
Slow, close, the world reduced to the interior of the lodge and the sounds the building makes when the wind hits it from different angles.
Cameron comes and goes, hands perpetually occupied.
Dash cycles through a book, a deck of cards, and eventually the couch, where he falls asleep in a position that looks deeply uncomfortable and from which he'll wake up complaining about his neck.
Kendall stays in her chair by the fire. She doesn't move except to refill the mug she never finishes.
Bryan arrives late in the afternoon, stamping snow off his boots in the mudroom with the controlled precision that characterizes everything Bryan does.
He comes into the main room, sees Kendall in the chair by the fire, and stops.
His eyes move to her. Then to me. Then back to her. The whole read takes a breath, maybe two, and says more than most people manage in a full conversation.
Bryan says nothing. His expression says everything. He's noted the woman, noted my proximity to the woman, noted the quality of attention I'm paying to her, and has drawn conclusions he intends to keep to himself until the precise moment they'll cause the most damage.
"Bryan," I say. "Kendall Jackson. Stranded by the storm."
Bryan extends his hand. "Ma'am." His voice is even and neutral and gives away absolutely nothing, which is how you know Bryan is thinking the most.
"Kendall," she says, the same correction she gave Cameron, but this time the word has an edge to it. Like she's testing whether it sticks.
Bryan doesn't acknowledge the correction. He doesn't ignore it either. He just takes his hand back, and the absence of response is its own kind of answer. Whatever she finds in his face, the control, the cool reserve, the absence of easy warmth, she registers it and moves on.
"Your brother has been generous with the room," she says.
"Alex is generous with most things," Bryan says. The sentence is perfectly pleasant and entirely loaded. The look he gives me over Kendall's shoulder holds a question I'm not going to answer in front of her.
The day winds down. Dinner is Cameron's stew, thick and heavy and built for weather like this, served at the long table in the main room while the fire pops and the wind tests the windows.
Kendall eats with the same efficiency as breakfast. She contributes to conversation when addressed and doesn't initiate it, and the restraint is so practiced it looks like preference rather than strategy.
Dash makes her almost laugh twice. The second time, the sound gets close enough that her lips part and her eyes go bright, and the transformation is so complete and so brief that I feel it in my sternum like a percussion.
The composure resettles over her face like water closing over a stone. I'm still watching from the far end of the table. Bryan's fork has paused again. I do not care.
Bryan catches me. His fork resumes. He chews, swallows, and says nothing, and the nothing is comprehensive.
By ten o'clock the lodge is quiet.
Kendall went upstairs after dinner, her footsteps on the stairs deliberate and measured, and her door closed with the soft click of a woman who has practiced being quiet in a house.
Cameron turned in an hour ago. Dash is asleep on the couch again, because Dash treats furniture as a suggestion rather than a category. Bryan went to his room with a nod that managed to say both good night and we will be discussing this later.
The nightly check is the same check it always is. Front door, side door, windows, generator status, firewood levels, weather station. Everything accounted for. Everything locked.
Stairs get the same navigation. Third step, outside edge, joist not board.
The hallway on the second floor is dark. The strip of space beneath her door is dark too. Whatever is behind that silence, whether she's asleep or awake or lying there calculating the same distances I keep calculating, I won't learn by standing here.
I walk to my room without slowing.
My room. Boots off. The routine is the same as it's always been. Tonight it feels different, and the difference has everything to do with the woman on the other side of the wall and the unwanted catalog my body has been building all day.
The way her throat moved when she swallowed the first sip of coffee. The angle of her jaw when she told me she'd had enough pretending. The shape of her mouth when it nearly gave up the laugh, lips parting, eyes going warm for a half second before the guard slammed back down.
That strip of skin above her collar where her pulse would be visible if I were close enough. I was close enough once today. The memory of the heat that rolled off that skin has been sitting in my bloodstream for hours doing things I can't afford.
My hand closes into a fist against my thigh, slow and deliberate, and releases the same way.
The gesture is the one I use when the impulse to act is ahead of the decision about how.
Tonight the impulse is focused and aimed at a door down the hallway where I did not stop.
Stopping wasn't an option. Wanting to stop isn't the same as having the right.
The wall between our rooms is thick and old and does its job. From the other side, nothing.
The storm pushes against the lodge trying to find a way in. I lie in the dark thinking about the flinch when the pan dropped and the way her hand went to her wrist like it was the only thing she knew how to hold on to.
A woman whose name I don't believe. Whose fear I recognize. Whose laugh I almost earned once today and have been chasing in my head ever since.
The curve of her throat when she swallowed. The heat of her skin when I stood too close. A mouth I've been thinking about since she stood at my bar and told me she could find the end of a hallway herself.
Tomorrow she'll be in my kitchen again. Sitting at my table. Walking the long way around the island to avoid brushing against me. I'll be watching her do it.
The watching is already becoming something I don't know how to put down.
The storm hasn't even started to break. Neither have I. But the margin is getting thinner by the hour, and the woman on the other side of this wall has no idea what she's doing to it.