Chapter 19
The words punched the air from his lungs.
He closed his eyes, a broken sound caught deep in his chest. The image of Suzette — proud, stubborn, luminous Suzette — reduced to begging on a street corner made something inside him fracture.
He rested his forehead against her shoulder, not hiding his emotion this time, letting her feel the tremor that ran through him.
“God, Suzette,” he whispered, voice raw. “You shouldn’t have had to endure that. Not ever.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
He jerked back just enough to look at her, disbelief flaring hot. Wasn’t that bad? He wanted to punch someone — starting with that sanctimonious woman who’d dared to smear her name.
“How long?” he ground out. His throat was tight, his jaw locked. It didn’t matter what number she said. Even one second was one too many.
“Just a few days,” she said quietly. “Until Miem pulled up beside me, causing a traffic jam while she wrestled me into her bakkie, and drove me back to the flat. She helped me pack our stuff, and when Esther arrived home from school, we left.”
Her voice softened on the last word, and Justin felt something inside him shift. Rage gave way to a fierce, aching tenderness. He gathered her closer, his hand sliding up her spine as if trying to erase every moment she’d ever felt abandoned.
A few days.
A few days of her standing on a street corner with a placard — desperate, judged, alone.
Until Miem arrived.
“Miem has my eternal gratitude,” he said, voice thick. “It’s no wonder she’s so protective of you.”
A small smile ghosted across Suzette’s lips. “Miem’s an angel.” Then the smile vanished. “There’s more.”
His stomach dropped. “More?” How much more could there be?
She nodded. “That woman … the one from the church who accused me … she also stopped at that intersection. Saw me. Ignored me.”
Justin swore — a vicious, blistering string of words that felt nowhere near satisfying enough.
Suzette’s voice stayed steady, though he could see the memory tightening her throat. “She’s the type who would sell the story to the media. And make up lies to go with it.”
“Let her try,” he shot back, heat flaring under his skin. “I will bury her in a lawsuit.”
“It would kill me if it came out,” she whispered.
He blinked. “Why?”
“Why?” The word tore from her, raw and incredulous. “Come on, Justin. Be serious. I’d be crucified in the media.”
He opened his mouth — ready to argue, ready to tell her she was wrong, that he’d stand between her and the world — but the truth crashed into him.
She was right.
It was exactly the kind of juicy, cruel gossip people devoured.
Exactly the kind of twisted narrative tabloids would spin until she was nothing but headlines and misquotes and public judgment.
Dammit.
The fury rose hot and helpless beneath his ribs — not at her, never at her — but at the world that had already hurt her once and might try again.
He cupped her jaw, forcing her to meet his eyes. He hated seeing that vulnerable look in her eyes. Hated it. “Suzette … none of it touches who you are. Not to me.” His voice dropped, fierce and low. “You hear me? Not to me.”
Her eyes slipped away from his. “I don’t want you to be ashamed of me.”
The words were so soft he barely heard them — a whisper cracked open with fear.
His breath caught. “Ashamed?” He shook his head, disbelief tightening every muscle. His thumb swept along her cheek. “You think I’d ever be ashamed of the strongest, kindest, most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met?” he murmured. “Never. Not in this lifetime.”
He cupped her face fully, thumbs brushing the warm skin damp with moisture. “Sweetheart,” he whispered, “look at me.”
The uncertainty in her gaze hurt. But he understood it. “I love you. Every moment with you deepens that love. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would ever change that.”
He leaned in, and her breath feathered across his lips, soft and shaky, his own exhalation stuttered in response.
Then she closed the last inch.
The kiss wasn’t tentative. It was deep and thorough. Her hands slid up his chest, around the back of his neck, tugging him closer, as if she needed him as desperately as he needed her. She tasted like summer and love and something that felt like forever.
He groaned against her mouth, angling his head, pouring everything he couldn’t put into words into the aching slide of lips against lips.
*
Suzette melted into him, her fingers curling into his hair as the world tilted — no, righted — around her. His kiss held a promise of unconditional love. And it undid her in the gentlest, most devastating way.
Her last secret … her hidden shame … the thing she’d carried like a stone in her chest for years … he knew it now. And instead of recoiling, instead of seeing her as less, he’d held her with such tenderness she could barely breathe.
For the first time in forever, she didn’t feel broken. Or worthless.
She felt chosen.
The future — that impossible, fragile thing she never allowed herself to imagine with him — brightened, unfolding before her like a path lit with possibility. Wherever in the world they ended up, they would be okay.
Hope flickered to life inside her.
Soft at first, then warmer. Brighter. Steadier.
And beneath it, unmistakable and terrifying and beautiful—
Love.
Her heart bloomed in a way she’d never dared before, and for a breathless, shimmering moment, it felt like the beginning of everything.
And she leapt from the precipice.
“Maybe,” she whispered, finally emerging from his drugging kiss, “you can help me become part of your world. Help me find a place there … the way you’ve found one in mine. I think— No” — her thumb brushed his cheekbone — “I know that with you by my side, I can overcome a few pesky emotional hurts.”
His throat bobbed, the smallest shiver running through him. “I am fully prepared to walk away from that life.”
“I know. But what I said earlier … what you do is important. I will not allow you to give it up. At the same time, I cannot give you up. Because see, Justin Knox McKenzie, I have very inconveniently fallen in love with you. And I cannot imagine a future anywhere but by your side. Even if it means leaving Paternoster.”
For a heartbeat, he didn’t move.
She could feel the tension beneath her hands — the rapid, uneven breaths, the way his jaw worked as if he were trying to speak but couldn’t form a single word.
Then his eyes changed.
They shone. Not with lust or heat — though that simmered there too — but with something rawer, deeper. Something he’d been holding tight for far too long. A single tear slid down his cheek.
His breath hitched. “Suzette …”
She brushed the tear with her thumb, but he caught her hand, pressed it to his cheek, and closed his eyes as if her touch was the only thing tethering him to the moment.
“Say something,” she whispered.
He surged forward — one hand sliding into her hair, the other splaying between her shoulder blades — and kissed her. Hard at first, like he’d been drowning and she was air. Then slower … deeper … reverent, as if memorizing her mouth.
A whispered breath broke between them, and he rested his forehead against hers. “I love you,” he murmured, voice unsteady and thick with emotion. “God, Suzette, I love you so much it terrifies me.”
“We can be terrified together,” she said, her laugh more than a little shaky.
“I will stand up for you. No matter what. I promise.”
“I know you will.”
Several moments passed before the muffled sound of Katy Perry’s Roar vibrated between them, and she pulled away with real reluctance. “It’s Essie.” She tugged her cellphone from the deep pocket of her dress. “She said she’d call before they left for the ranch,” she said, starting to rise.
Justin’s arms tightened, keeping her firmly anchored on his lap. “Best you answer it.”
She gave a nervous little laugh. “I need to get off.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Justin…”
“You need to tell her about us, sweet Suze,” he said gently, thumb stroking her hip. “Before she hears it from someone else.”
“You’re right. But—”
“She’ll be fine.”
“She adored Braam…” An old fear pushed at her ribs. The fear of disappointing her daughter.
Justin shook his head, tenderness softening his eyes. “He’s been gone more than twenty years. If she’s taken aback, Max will tell her what an awesome uncle I am.”
She huffed a small laugh. “You are pretty awesome.”
Her shoulders sagged in resignation — and something like acceptance. “You’re right.” She straightened her shoulders, praying she didn’t look like she’d just been kissed senseless, and swiped to answer.
Essie’s radiant grin filled the screen, and Suzette’s heart squeezed with love. Surely her daughter wouldn’t begrudge her a little happiness of her own.
“Merry Christmas, Essie. How is Sophie’s first Christmas?”
Essie pulled a face. “She’s teething, so she’s not a happy camper right now.” Her gaze flicked upward, off-screen. “She down?”
“For now.” The phone shifted, and Max’s face popped into view beside Essie’s. “Season’s blessings, Mom.”
“Same to you, Max.”
She felt Justin’s hand settle on her thigh — steadying, encouraging. “There’s … someone else who wants to say hi.” She turned the phone toward him.
“Uncle J?” Max asked. “What are you doing in Paternoster?”
Justin grinned — at her, not at the screen — and winked before turning his attention back to the camera. “Visiting Suzette. Merry Christmas, you two. And give little Sophie a big hug from me.”
A telling silence followed.
“You’re visiting … my mother?” Essie’s voice hitched upward.
“I am,” Justin said calmly.
“Why?” Essie’s tone cracked into a full, bewildered wail.
“Because your mom is the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met, and I fell in love with her the moment I met her. And I’m hoping” — he glanced at Suzette, eyes warm — “that one day she’ll be my wife.”
Suzette groaned, mortified. Talk about ripping off the bandage.
“Mother?” Essie croaked.
Suzette turned the camera back toward herself. “Right here, baby girl.”
“What is going on?” Essie hissed. “And since when?” Her shoulders had risen almost to her ears, indignation sharpening every line of her face. “That’s the man you’ve crushed on your whole life!”
“Justin arrived … five days ago.”
“Five days? And now — now — Mom!” Her voice cracked.
“Essie,” Max murmured, laying a calming hand on her shoulder.
Essie jerked away. “Don’t Essie me! This is huge! This is — this is wrong!” Her gaze snapped back to Suzette. “Mother?”
Suzette drew a steady breath. Her heart hurt at the panic in her daughter’s eyes, but beneath it lay a new, fragile certainty — one Justin had helped her finally claim.
“There is nothing wrong with my feelings for Justin,” she said softly. “And yes, I’ve crushed on JK Kenzie all my life … but I fell in love with Justin McKenzie. And it’s been more than five days. We spent a night together. After your wedding.”
The moment the words left her mouth, Suzette winced. She hadn’t meant to reveal that. Not like this.
Essie gaped. “Spent the night? As in spent the night?” Her voice shot upward. “Mom! On my wedding night?”
Max slipped an arm around her again. “Es, breathe. You’re going nuclear.”
“Of course I’m going nuclear! It’s my mom and” — she flung a hand across her eyes — “and your uncle!”
“Esther. I’m happy.”
Essie froze.
Suzette held the screen steady, letting her daughter take in her face — the glow, the softness, the certainty she hadn’t felt in years. “Really, truly happy.”
Essie’s eyes glossed over, the fury leaking out and leaving something much more fragile behind. “You … are you sure?”
“I am,” Suzette said. “And I’m old enough to know my own mind. Old enough to choose what’s good for me. And sweet girl … all I want is for you to be happy for me.”
Essie looked away, blinking rapidly. Max pressed a kiss to her temple, murmuring, “He’s a good man, angelheart. You know that. And your mom deserves happiness.”
A long silence stretched, thick and taut.
Finally, Essie let out an enormous sigh. “Fine,” she muttered. “Fiiiiine. If you’re happy … then …” Her face softened, reluctant but real. “Then I’ll be happy for you. Eventually. Maybe. Probably.”
Suzette laughed, relief loosening something deep in her chest. “I’ll take it.”
She tipped her head against Justin’s shoulder, angling the phone so both of them were in frame. Justin pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.
Essie recoiled with a full-body shudder. “Okay, nope. That’s just … weird.”
Justin chuckled. “I promise on my life to look after your mom, Esther. To protect her, honor her, and cherish her.”
Essie blinked, unimpressed. “You better.” Her eyes narrowed. “Because I’m a doctor, and I know ways to end you. Hippocratic oath or not.”
“Understood,” Justin said gravely.
They chatted for a few more minutes, trading updates, until an unhappy wail sounded in the background. Essie and Max both jolted to attention, the telltale cry of a teething baby pulling them away.
“Go,” Suzette said with a smile. “Tend to your tiny tyrant.”
After quick goodbyes, the call ended.
Suzette set the phone down on the table, exhaled, then turned to Justin with a soft smile. “Well. That’s it, mister movie star,” she said softly. “You’re stuck with me.”
He tapped her chin with a finger. “I accept my fate. Permanent attachment to one Suzette Bosch. No complaints. Zero regrets.”