Chapter Twenty-Eight
Belle
I ’m taking a walk through the gardens when someone comes running up to me, holding a cell phone, completely out of breath. I’m no longer trapped in Julian’s quarters, not that I was ever really trapped there— after that first night, we both knew that I was free to leave at any time .
I just chose not to .
The boy running charges up to me, gasping for breath, holds the phone out. There’s a live call on it, but I frown at the number — it’s not one I know, and I’m not sure what’s going on .
“It’s,” he gasps. “The hospital, in Inversberg — ”
My heart clenches in my chest .
“—Your father — ”
I whirl around, hold the phone to my ear .
“Miss Marchand ?”
“Yes.”
There’s a short silence on the other end, like she’s trying to figure out how to tell me something .
“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your father is currently in the Intensive Care Unit,” she says, her voice steady and soft. “We believe he fell into a diabetic coma yesterday after failing to take his insulin .”
I cover my mouth so I don’t scream, but stifled sobs make their way through. I feel like someone’s punched me right in the heart, my whole body suddenly shaking .
This is my fault , I think, over and over again. While I’ve been here, he’s been all alone, and I’ve always known that he can’t keep track of time or what day it is, I should have known he’d forget …
“I’m coming,” I say, my voice breaking through ragged sobs. “Tell him I’m coming, please. Even if he’s in a coma .”
The woman clears her throat slightly .
“Of course,” she says .
I shove the phone back at the kid who brought it, turn, and race back to Julian’s quarters .
* * *
My hands are shaking as I try to unlock the door with the key Julian gave me to his quarters, and I’ve just barely got it into the lock when the door swings open and he’s standing there in all his brooding glory, a look on his face I can’t read, his one good eye and one blind eye serious .
“My father,” I choke out, standing in the doorway. “He’s sick, he’s in the hospital, it’s my fault and I need to — ”
Julian just steps back into the room, away from the door, and behind him I see a small suitcase, standing upright, and my heart seizes in my chest .
“Go,” he says, his voice deep as ever .
I just look at him for a long moment. I know there are tears streaming down my face, my nose is running, and my chin is wobbling the way it always does when I cry too hard.
I’m clenching my teeth to keep myself from sobbing in front of him, but it’s not really working because my whole body is shaking .
“You’re free,” he says. “Go see your father. You’re not my prisoner .”
I sniffle and sob at the same time, a big ugly noise tearing itself out of my chest, and I cover my face, wishing that he of all people didn’t have to see me like this .
“Thank you,” I manage to whisper. “Thank you .”
Before I know what’s happening, Julian’s strong arms are around me and he’s holding me close. I’m sobbing into his strong chest and he’s stroking my hair, just letting me cry and shiver and sniffle and generally be a huge, disgusting mess .
“It’s my fault,” I manage to choke out between sobs. “I knew he was forgetful, I knew he was— I knew he wouldn’t — ”
“Shh,” Julian says, his firm, steady hands still holding me .
“I should have been there for him and I wasn’t,” I whisper-sob. “He needed me, and I was here instead, with you …”
I bite my lip until I nearly draw blood, tears still raining down my face. I can’t finish that sentence, not out loud, but I think I was here with you, thinking of nothing but myself, forgetting my own family in favor of getting spanked and getting off …
“It’s not your fault,” Julian rumbles. “You can’t blame yourself .”
I just sniffle, take a deep breath .
We stay like that for a few minutes, and then I finally pull back, shake my head, try to wipe my face with my hands until Julian gives me a tissue .
“I have to go,” I say again. “I’m sorry .”
He just points at the small suitcase .
“That’s everything you brought and everything you’ll need,” he says. “There’s a car waiting downstairs, at the private entrance .”
I wait, wondering if there’s going to be something else, some reason that I have to come back, but he doesn’t say anything else .
“That’s all,” he says quietly. “Go see your father .”
“Thank you,” I manage to sob-whisper, and then I grab the suitcase and practically run through the door and down the stairs before I can think about this anymore .