Chapter Twenty-Three
Logan
W e have to leave really early the next morning, so I spend all night tossing and turning, trying to think of ways that we can still see Rose sometimes. She works across the mountain from where she lives, so maybe she can stop by, sometimes, on her way home .
The cabin is pretty far in, but we could meet her on the road, drive her in, she'd spend the night ...
I'm afraid I'm being stupid. I'm afraid it's not going to work, because she's going to go back to her regular life and it'll be like she never existed. Our relationship will go the way of all long-distance relationships — it'll fizzle, she'll meet someone else, and then it's over .
The thought feels like a black spot through my heart. It's crazy, and it might be stupid, but I'm in love with Rose. I can't help it. I think I fell for her the second she put her head on my chest in the back seat of our truck, and now I'm completely heartbroken at the thought that she's leaving .
Idiot , I think .
None of us talks much in the morning. I told Rose yesterday that we were taking her home today, and she didn't argue. I didn't mention that she hadn't even been reported missing, but I don't think it would surprise her .
The truck packed, Rose back in the clothes we found her in plus an enormous down parka, we approach the bobcat pen. He's watching us, alert but still sedated since we've been drugging his water, and he hisses .
Knox takes careful aim with the tranquilizer dart, then shoots it right into the cat's neck. In a couple seconds, his eyes are closing, and then he's asleep. We carry him to the cage in the back of the Forest Service truck and deposit him as gently as we can .
Then we all get in the truck, heading down the mountain .
It's a rough, slippery ride. There's still plenty of snow on the ground, and the roads haven't been cleared yet, but we've both got plenty experience driving this thing in the snow .
As we get closer to town, we make polite conversation: about how long the schools will be closed for, when the roads might reopen, whether we're getting more snow any time soon. None of us wants to talk about what's happening, how this is the end of our nearly-perfect few days together .
We take the bobcat to the vet first, who's waiting for us in her office since we alerted her first. When she sees the cat, she shakes her head .
"Bear trap, right?" she asks .
"Right," I say .
"I'd like to spring one of those on the shitheads who put them out there," she says, more fire in her than I thought. "See how they like it ."
"He'll be okay, though, right?" Rose asks .
The vet takes a closer look at the passed-out bobcat, her face inscrutable .
"He's very likely to live," she finally says. "But he's also pretty likely to lose that leg. He might have to be shipped to the sanctuary and become a breeder ."
Knox and I share a quick look but manage not to laugh .
"I know, I know," the vet says. "What a rough life, hanging out, getting fed and having lots of sex. Poor guy ."
When we leave her office, the mood changes instantly as we get back into the car. No one speaks. I drive as slowly as I can to Rose's house, but it still comes too fast, and when I pull up outside, we all sit for a moment in silence .
Rose takes a deep breath .
"I'm glad you rescued me," she says, and then laughs a little, like she's nervous. "Well, I'm glad I got rescued, and I'm glad you two did it ."
"Us too," Knox and I say in unison .
I pull a piece of paper from my pocket and hand it to her. She unfolds it slowly, her brow furrowing .
"We don't have a phone at the cabin, but that's instructions on how to reach us by radio any time you want," I say .
"Since you work on the other side of the mountain, we were thinking... you could come by sometimes, visit us. That sort of thing ."
Rose looks from Knox to me and back .
"Of course ," she says, her voice nearly a whisper. "Of course I'll visit you, and — "
She swallows .
"Of course I'll visit," she repeats .
I'm hit by the urge to tell her I love her so strong it's nearly overwhelming, but I don't. What's the point, right now ?
Rose scoots forward in the back seat. Each of us gives her a long, slow goodbye kiss before we get out of the car. She goes back and forth a couple of times, from one to the other, and by the time we're finished I'm hard again .
I wonder if we could fuck in this vehicle, just one more time .
But then her neighbor's door opens, and a gray-haired lady comes off and shakes out a tablecloth. The three of us all get out of the car, and we walk Rose up to her front door .
It's open, and she walks through it, into the living room. We follow her .
There's an older man on the couch, watching TV. Some daytime show. It takes him a couple of seconds to look up at her .
"There you are," he finally says, his eyes roving over the two of us .
He pauses .
"I was starting to get really worried, sweetheart ."
He couldn't sound less worried if he tried .
"Thanks, Dad," Rose says, not really looking at him. Suddenly she sounds sad and exhausted .
"You two work at the diner?" he asks, nodding at us .
He doesn't even seem curious that two men brought his daughter home, let alone suspicious or protective. I want to put my arm around her, comfort her, tell her that it's not her fault she got a shitty father .
"We—" Knox starts .
"Actually, Dad, your truck broke down going over the mountain and they found me before I froze to death, because someone took the blankets out of the cab," Rose says. "They let me stay with them during the snowstorm, since I couldn't get back home ."
She doesn't even sound angry, just matter-of- fact .
"Oh," her dad says. "Thanks for that ."
He sounds so fucking casual that my hand balls itself into a fist. I can't believe his daughter nearly died and he's more interested in a TV show than her .
"Of course," I say stiffly. "Glad we could help ."
"I've got good news," he says, smiling suddenly and changing the topic. "Won two grand at the roulette table !"
Rose just stares at him, then pulls us into the kitchen .