Chapter 3 #2
We’ve definitely blown that boundary to smithereens, and when he shows me the gorgeous guest bedroom, I decide my ex can shove it as I take it all in.
Tall ceilings with thick wooden beams running across them to warm up the space, a queen bed with a rustic wooden headframe, soft gray bedding, and a window that takes up the far wall.
Matching gray ceiling to floor length curtains are pulled back to showcase the view.
I walk to that window, pressing my fingers to the pane and sighing.
The view is gorgeous. Part way up a mountain and backed up to a valley, their backyard is an endless sea of forest cresting into mountains that seem to touch the clouds.
Sunlight filters through the trees, turning the leaves into a patchwork of gold and crimson.
“This is incredible.”
“Beautiful.”
I nod, turning around to find Hudson watching me with an intensity that makes my pulse skip. His gaze traces over my face like he’s memorizing every detail. Suddenly the spacious room feels tiny. I tried to avoid noticing before, but Hudson is hot as hell.
He’s your ex-boyfriend’s best friend, Lily.
The air between us crackles with something I can’t name. My skin warms and my breathing grows shallow. We stand there for what feels like forever, neither of us moving, until Hudson finally shakes himself. He clears his throat and gestures toward a door I hadn’t noticed.
“En-suite bathroom. Towels are in the cabinet under the sink.”
“Right.” My voice is a little rough. I clear my throat and wrench my attention away from his face. “Thank you.”
“Do you need anything else?” He’s back to that careful politeness and it sends relief rushing through me.
Polite I can handle. Caring, attentive, curious. I don’t know what to do with that. “You’ve done plenty.” I smile, hoping I don’t look too nervous. “More than enough, actually.”
He runs a hand through his short brown hair. “I better get back to the job site. We were planning to tackle the primary bathroom demo today.”
“Of course.” I fidget with the hem of my shirt. “Thank you. For helping with the house and for letting me stay here. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime, Lily.” The way he says my name sends another flutter through me.
He heads down the hall, leaving me alone with the scent of his woodsy cologne and a head full of confusing thoughts.
I sit on the bed, and let my breath sink into my belly, staring out at that incredible view. The knot in my chest loosens just a fraction. It’s so peaceful out here.
My phone buzzes. I tug it out of my pocket and smile at the picture of Callie sandwiched between three ridiculously attractive men, all of them grinning at the camera.
CALLIE
Missing you at our Sunday brunch! How’s the birthday girl?
Callie looks absolutely radiant with the guys flanking her. They look happy. Really, genuinely in love. Jealousy stabs through me. Not because I want her guys. I simply want what she has. The very thing that’s evaded me for as long as I can remember.
Love.
My fingers hover over the keyboard before I reply.
Matt and I broke up. Don’t worry, I’m fine.
WHAT?! Are you okay? Do you want me to call?
I’m fine, really. It wasn’t working anyway.
But my phone rings before I can set it down.
“Don’t you dare ‘I’m fine’ me, Lily.” Callie’s voice is sharp with concern. “What happened?”
I launch into the sanitized version, leaving out the part about Matt shouting at me. I keep my voice light, casual, like I’m discussing the weather instead of my latest romantic failure.
“Where are you staying?” she asks.
“About that. Uh, Hudson and the guys offered me their guest room.” I pick at the comforter. “It’s temporary, until I find an apartment or something.”
“Hudson Hudson?”
Exhaling, I nod even though she can’t see me. “Yeah.” There are so many things she probably wants to say or ask.
There’s a pause, and I can practically hear her processing. “Okay, well are they being nice?”
“Oh yeah. They’re always nice.”
“And you’re really okay?”
Yes? No? I don’t know? Should I be more upset? Am I broken for already being ready to move on with my life? What would my therapist say? Instead, I say, “I am, I swear.”
“You don’t have to be strong right now. You know that, right? It’s okay to be upset when someone treats you like garbage.”
That’s exactly what Matt did and I put up with it for too long. My throat tightens. I force another laugh to conceal my emotions. “I’m really okay. Honestly. It was time to end things anyway.”
We talk for a few more minutes, Callie being the perfect friend, giving me space to deflect while still making sure I know she’s there. When we finally hang up, I exhale slowly and let myself fall backward onto the bed.
Staring up at the beams on the ceiling, I wonder if I’ll ever figure this out. Maybe love isn’t meant for people like me. Maybe I’m destined to be the friend who helps everyone else find their happiness while I cycle through disappointment after disappointment.
The thought should depress me, instead, it feels almost liberating.
I sit up, pulling my laptop from my bag with renewed determination.
Time to throw myself into work, find a new place to live, and stop depending on men who’ll inevitably let me down.
Still, there’s a little spark of hope that one day I’ll meet someone who won’t disappoint me.
For now though, I’m not holding my breath.